Wow, I’m not done studying this thread but I studied it enough to clearly see that my replies here were a few of my worst.

Not because I intended to harm, but because I was seeing- not Anonymous and her boyfriend at the time- but the child-me and my mother.

I was completely blind to Anonymous’s boyfriend’s abusive behavior simply because I unknowingly projected my child self into him, and I protected him from.. my mother projected into Anonymous.

And why did I do that? Because Anonymous was angry at him (although rightfully so) and her anger at him trigerred my Anger-Trauma: being the helpless victim of my mother’s repeating rage and unfounded accusations that I was not allowed to defend myself from.

Even though Anonymous was kind and gracious in her replies to me, the projection took hold and I couldn’t see beyond it.

Anonymous looked for help in regard to the situation with her boyfriend and I hijacked her thread and unknowingly made it about my unresolved trauma.

Wow. I am humbled 😔

No other thread makes it clearer to me how badly I sufferred from my mother’s RAGE and the devastating accusations she made against me, such that I wasn’t allowed to defend myself against, although I tried.

So, simply because Anonymous made (rightful) accusations against her then boyfriend, it trigerred me having been (unrightfully) accused as a child.

I will need to grieve and further heal from what I now call Anger Trauma. I will do so in one of my existing threads or in a new one.

I will now leave this thread alone and will not return unless by some miracle, Anonymous returns, or Lella, or anyone else.

👋🌿✨️ Anita