Not judging but trying to wrap my head around this. A transgender person in a relationship with a girl who themself had poor self image, poor self confidence and suppressed gender dysphoria. Happy they broke up with this girl. Now wants her back? But, she is in a new relationship. Well, it is good that you got vent. Releasing emotions is sometimes tough. I have found that writing things out sometimes helps to understand what happened. And sometimes not.

Getting over an ex is always tough. It is easier said than done. It begins with a little time not thinking about her. Then more and more time not thinking about her. Soon, it gets easier not being with her. Wish you luck.

Tee

So perhaps the real question is what is it that each of us needs in the next phase of our spiritual development, which can help us reach freedom from suffering. If our thoughts keep us in pain and suffering – keep us in the illusion of separation –

Getting rid of all thought is not the goal. Getting rid of wrong thought – thought that keeps us in separation and consequently suffering – that’s the goal, in my opinion.

I believe Buddha said that all that we have thought is what we are. The meaning is our world is made from our thoughts. When we sit in meditation, we are not trying to get rid of thoughts. We are letting go of thoughts. To not chase them. Not identifying with them. Gradually releasing our grip of the world thru our thoughts. So, Yes, Getting rid of thought that keeps us in separation. Thank you.

Peter

The Buddha offered distinct teachings for laypeople, emphasizing ethical living, mindfulness, and a gradual awakening of the heart. While liberation remains the ultimate aim, the path for householders, those whose lives unfold within the messiness of daily engagement often centers on integration rather than transcendence. The invitation is not to bypass life, but to meet it skillfully, with presence and compassion.

This I believe is to teach according to the ability of the people to understand. If feeding a child then one does not put the whole plate of food into the mouth of the child at once. But, breaks the meal up into spoonfuls or bite sizes. And so, the teachings are given to laypeople in bitesize eventually learning the whole thing.

It is all mind game

Is that your wish?

Dear James123,

Please explain how something (I or soul) that is not found has a death?? If it does not exist then neither does your spirituality.

If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?”
― William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Hello,

That story reminds me of the child who kept calling out for his mother. But, his mother was always praying to God for help. Calling out God’s name every time she needed something. The child called out her again. The mother turned around and said to stop calling her. The child then said, now how do you think God feels when you are constantly calling on God?

Wait, another one where a woman was calling on God to let her win the lottery. She would pray night and day to win the big money. Finally God sent a message back to her. Saying, you have got to buy a lottery ticket.

I am thinking I did not say those stories right. Save me please???

[quote quote=450813]Dear Thomas,

You asked “why am I suffering”.

And i answered you. That’s all.
[/quote]
When I read that I asked “why am I suffering”, I went back to all the previous posts and looked for that. I did not find that. I did not ask why am I suffering. You put the answer out there without anyone asking. Is that not imposing your beliefs? You say spirituality is the death of the I. Where I believe that spirituality is the dropping of this thinking mind and to find the emptiness, stillness. We aren’t trying to rub a roof into a mirror. We are spiritual simply by being human. Some more than others given the choices that we have made.

Sitting in meditation doesn’t turn one into a Buddha. We all have the truth of our nature within ourselves. Meditation allows one to become free of the thinking mind. To stop identifying with thoughts. Then when we embrace the emptiness, the stillness within us, we can experience the truth of our nature. The I doesn’t need to die to find the absolute. The Zen master described enlightenment best by saying, Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood carry water.

When asked, “Is there a God?” the Buddha answered according to the need of the person. For one person his answer was “No, there is no God.” For another, the answer was “Yes, there is a God.”. And yet a third person asked, “What can you tell me about God?”. The Buddha closed his eyes and the person closed his. After a half hour of silence. The person got up, thanked the Buddha and left.

Ananda, after witnessing all three answers, asked what is the Truth. The Buddha said the first was a believer in God and if it was confirmed there is a God then his spiritual journey to liberation would have ended. The second was an atheist and if it was confirmed that there is no God then his spiritual journey to liberation would have ended. So, they were told what they needed to hear. The third person held no beliefs or preconceived ideas. So they spent the time together in meditation.

So, not so much as in surrendering to God as to be present and enjoy the moment. Take for example the story of the man who was chased by a tiger to the edge of a cliff. He jumps down to a branch and holds on. Then he looks below and sees another tiger looking up at him. The man now looks at the branch and sees a fruit. He grabs the fruit and eats it. And with that he smiles. Be present in the moment, Enjoy what you can.