Menu

Thomas168

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 4 posts - 61 through 64 (of 64 total)
1 2 3 4 5
  • Author
    Posts
  • August 12, 2025 at 8:54 pm in reply to: Having attachment issues and letting go issues #448501
    Thomas168
    Participant

    Sorry, my advice is not very good. But attachment to love takes time and letting go of that love takes time.
    As it was easy to spend time together. It will be even harder to practice to let go.

    The first arrow in life is the one which causes us pain. The second arrow is the one which causes suffering. The first is unavoidable. Life will have its pain. The second is the wrapping of our minds on the first arrow. Thinking about the first arrow. Consumed about it. That is the suffering. Like a tooth ache will happen. There is pain. But, when the mind gets wrapped up in it and becomes consumed in the tooth pain then there is suffering.

    The path to end suffering is to spend time not thinking about the other person. The more time you do not spend thinking about the other person then the more you will heal. If you continue to wrap yourself in those thoughts about the other person then the more you will suffer. It takes practice to do other things and to keep the mind on the present. Little by little. More and more time will go by and you will spend less and less time on thoughts about the other person. You will heal.

    August 12, 2025 at 8:30 pm in reply to: Time Moves 07/12/25 #448500
    Thomas168
    Participant

    Hello Ms. Alessa,

    I did not blame her for her actions but asked why? I do not know her. But, … How would you feel if your child did not come home after school? Stayed out until one in the morning? Then she is surprised about how others in her family reacted? Her punishment was to spend Thanksgiving with her family? What was her motivation for doing so? She never explains. Just sounds to me that she was looking for attention. She got it. But didn’t like it? What was she expecting? Do we just listen to her side of the story? Or do we think about those around her and the way they reacted to her? Were they being reasonable? Did they physically punish and beat her? When she aged out of foster care, did her foster parents throw her out because there was no more money?

    On a separate note: (not Laven)
    When bad people tell others of their lives, most of them do make it sound like it was other’s fault for their lives. That whatever they did, it was justified. Then they do not choose to do better but go deeper into their despair. The narrative continues. I personally know that nothing will ever change for the better unless one chooses to make better choices. To take responsibility for their choices and actions.

    I guess people come here to tell their stories and get sympathy and comfort. Not to hear advice to change their lives for the better? That was a question not a statement. You sound like a caring person. But are you an enabler?

    August 12, 2025 at 7:22 am in reply to: Time Moves 07/12/25 #448468
    Thomas168
    Participant

    I understand that 10th grade and 11th grade was a bad time for you. But, I have to ask if you understood the consequences of your actions? Staying out all night. Coming home at 1 in the morning. How would you feel if one of your children did that? Yes, you had your reasons but no one else knows that. Not being able to talk to someone to help you?

    I do not want to blame you for your actions. But, you have to take some responsibilities for your actions. Skipping school. Why? What made it so terrible that it was better to miss school than to be in school? Did you have bullies?

    Sounded like you had a foster mom who loved you even with all the things you did that probably hurt her. Yeah, I don’t know you or your life. But, It does not sound like you take any responsibility for your life and actions. How can life get better if you don’t change your life for the better??

    Sorry if I sound mean. That is not my intent. I have been the kid who skipped school for months. And the kid who took drugs. And the kid who stole. And I was punished for it. I knew it was time to change or things would just get worse. So, I changed me.

    August 12, 2025 at 7:20 am in reply to: Feeling Like I’m Reliving My College Loneliness at Work #448469
    Thomas168
    Participant

    It is hard to find friends who last a lifetime. Someone who you have a real connection with. College did not provide that and now out in the work field, it seems the same thing is happening again. All one can do is to be open to new friends. Develop interests and hobbies that one can share with like minds. Personally, I like Zen and Buddhism. If I wanted then I would go to meetings and meet like minded people. I like being by myself so I don’t go out. But, I have a wife so I don’t miss having someone to talk with. The internet is my friend and entertainment. But, that is me. My advice is to go to places where you will meet people who have the same interests as you.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 61 through 64 (of 64 total)
1 2 3 4 5