Hi Roberta,

I know it seems like that doesn’t make sense. It’s what happened though!

He said he wanted us to either be exclusive and not sleep or see others so we can enjoy the rest of the summer doing us, or he said if not he’s going to have to get on dating apps and date around to emotionally separate himself. He said we don’t have to be boyfriend and girlfriend but we’re just not gonna hook up with others. I hesitated cause it was a weird situation, he was under the influence and emotional, but I ultimately said yes so I technically did break the agreement.

No we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, and it’s a weird thing where we both talked about the future separately like “oh I might go home for a bit… you?” and he’d say “I don’t know maybe I’ll work another winter season…” And I felt this unspoken tension…

His emotions about it would come out in comments and little moments and mine would come out in being avoidant.

It’s communication that’s the main issue…

I definitely did break an agreement because he had asked me again if we were exclusive over text 2 weeks back when I was on a trip with my friends, and I said yes so… although it was created under weird circumstances, it was there.

I know him asking again was also kind of like… well isn’t that what you said?

I just think our communication is poor and if we continue, it has to change on both ends. I want to change it and feel like I’m taking the steps to do so, not saying I’m fully perfect there, but I feel like I know the next steps I have to take.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Thank you Roberta!

I am trying to at least tell myself it was good that I did tell him as soon as I could, it’s maybe the only redeemable thing I’ve done in this situation lol.

I fell to the pressure and fun of a touristy b place, the going out and drinking and being young and silly, and it has affected a relationship that I saw going beyond this place.

I plan on leaving mahbe by mid september and him as well. He wants to do a winter season somewhere else to snowboard, and I’d like to take some time at home to regroup.
We could make distance work as it’s the same country, but now he may not see that working out and not trust me on the other side of the country, which sucks.

I don’t want to say that this town has affected who I am and my decisions cause that would merely be a weak excuse as most people have held up their morals here, but maybe as someone who already had a hard time with boundaries and tough conversations, I didn’t do well in this type of place.

I’m going to try and work on myself whether or not he wants me. I just hope and pray that maybe soon at some point, we can try again.

Thanks again!

Hi Roberta, thank you for your kind message.

I have spoken to him about it this morning, I was honest and told him what happened and I accepted the full responsibility, the possibility of him not wanting to see me again, and everything in between.

You are right, I do need to cut off the drinking. I was quite happy when I was back home and not drinking a lot, it felt nice and freeing. Since i’ve been in this tourist party town, the more I drank the more I felt disconnected with myself. Even friends from back home noticed I’ve been different and I think this whole situation has made me take a large step back.

It’s confusing cause I’m not sure, was the exclusivity just for now, what were we gonna do after, what was our plan? These are questions I was scared to have answered and so I know that if we ever do talk again, a serious conversation and change will have to happen.

I’m happy I had the conversation, I’m sad it had to even be like this but it is my own doing.

I don’t really know where to go from here, but I am going to do my best to learn from this. This isn’t the person I want to be.

I appreciate your time Roberta.

Yes thank you Michelle!

I’ll be sure to let you know about work related things and problems!

thank u,

sisi

Hey Michelle,

I actually am looking now! I wouldn’t quit unless I found something that interests me. I’d really would love to step into the work of languages as a job and media as well. If I do find something better, I’d leave. I technically don’t have an obligation. I just don’t want to get into the habit of leaving jobs, you know? Although I’m nowhere near working at my career job, I feel like I’d be building bad habits at a young age by leaving fast.

But I do agree that I need to evaluate when I should stick it out and when I shouldn’t. I technically should have the right to know my scheduling, but many jobs are dishonest in that sense so I guess I’ll have to deal until I find a better place!

I appreciate your point of view and opinion!

Thanks,

sisi

Hey Michelle

McDonalds was a good job but yes I did want to move on. So when I found the other job, what made me feel stressed and anxiety was my coworkers  and managers (very stern and passive aggressive) and my boss (who was pregnant, but very catty and rude). I’ve never had to deal with that type of angry boss before, because at McDonald’s the bosses spoke kindly and made it clear of what they wanted without making you feel terrible. So, I just never felt settled at that job. I felt like an outcast slightly cause most of the employees were there for some time and I was new. And also, my management was very disorganized with schedules, and that’s another thing that set me off. I sound really picky, cause I know most jobs have inconsistent scheduling.

Aso for this job now, I got some angry coworker and negative environment vibes that I had at the last job. And I also really don’t like how my schedule isn’t accurate, because instead of doing a 6 hour shift I could be doing at 10+ hour shift, but I would only find out when I get to my shift and they tell me to stay. A lot of my coworkers deal with it though, and I know I can as well.

I guess I have to go through both the good and the bad to grow and learn. I can’t just leave after something is bad.

But I would really enjoy a job that had to do with languages and arts, since that’s what I study in school and would help me out a lot for my future career. I just can’t seem to find much of those student jobs anywhere.

thank you,

sisi

Hey Anita

yes! That seems perfectly reasonable!

I’m definitely building up the courage, and when I do so I’ll see how it goes. Thank you!

sierra