Dear Anita,

Thanks a lot for your kind support. I feel that whatever you said is correct. As it was my first relationship and it was the first time that i felt attached to someone other than my family and friends maybe I’m feeling like this. Your support and words means a lot to me anita.

Hi Anitha,

I need your advice.

It’s been five days. I have been trying to come out of the situation. I felt like I’m becoming successful but yesterday night they were engaged and it was a private affair because of the current lockdown conditions nobody could attend. They sent my family some pictures of that event and after seeing that, don’t know why i again went back to the same position to where i started. I’m being nice to everyone family, friends but deep inside don’t know why I’m feeling sad maybe I’m unable to digest that someone else is replacing me or anything else. I can’t even cry and lessen my burden because i don’t want to tell my family how am i feeling right now. I can’t share with anyone. I don’t know why it’s happening like this. I’m being strong and just after seeing there pictures or anything i become so vulnerable again. I know maybe its been just few days that’s why I’m feeling like this and as the time passes maybe i will become better but right now i need someone to help me cope up this situation.

Hi Anitha and Ravi

Thank you so much for getting back to me.

The things that you have told about me, it means a lot to me Anitha.

I appreciate your advice of me maintaining the same relation that we had earlier this year. Infact i have been maintaining this since the breakup and i didn’t speak to him since then whenever we encountered each other at family gatherings because i didn’t want to raise the hopes of getting back and depress him again. It’s only last month that i spoke to him after he messaged me in which he said that i cheated him by breaking up the relation and that i made him depressed a lot because of the breakup. I understand breakups are hard and even i was so guilty after break up but now after he has said this I’m feeling like i have been so selfish and that i made him feel like that. This feeling is just killing me inside. But even he knows that career has always been my first priority more than anything else.

When I was breaking up at the end of relationship he asked me, whether i will marry him if he gives me time and doesn’t disturb me till i reach a position in my career( he asked me for a second chance) to which i told him that now i don’t want to have any commitments towards marriage and that i will only think about it when i feel like doing it and that i may or may not marry him so i told him not to wait for me and later blame me if i don’t marry him. Because i don’t want to force him to wait for me because whether to wait or not is his wish.

When we were together i told him about my journey with an illness when i was 18 years old and how i was depressed during that period and how i came out of that illness and depression and became healthy and how it had changed my personality and vision towards life. Last month when he messaged me, just to make me feel sad he started saying that i might return to that depressing phase again and become unhealthy and suffer then i just told him not to worry because it’s me and my body and mind which will fight with the problems. I have been so cool to him when he was hitting like this on my insecurities but later I’m feeling so guilty that i made a person suffer so much that who has once treated me like a princess and appreciated my journey of being strong in life started saying like that i deserve difficulties like those depressing phases in my life.