Hi. I know how it can be. I know how it is to rerun everything over and over. To ache.
I can’t really say how to do it. I will share with you what made a huge difference for me. I was so hurt and consumed that I couldn’t sleep and I was crying too often. I was angry. I was sad. I was broken. Every contact I had with him broken me a little more. I felt lost.
Then I asked why? Why was I doing this to myself? Why was I letting him do this to myself? Confronting myself like that changed something. I decided NO. He was not going to steal every good memory I had of him. He was not going to stop my own healing. He was not going to stop me moving on. NO.
It still took time. It took me years before I was ready for someone else. It was not because of him though. It was because of my own journey. That night I stopped. I said NO to his control over me. Every time I began to obsess, I would turn that thought into remembering why I loved him and what he gave me. Not what he took away. I focused on why I was meant to know him.
I have to think hard to remember the bad things. Occasionally, though rare now, the bad might creep in, only to give notice that I am ignoring something similar in my own life. It is freeing to let go. Let go of the bad. Not him. He will always be that part of your heart that made you better.
Big hugs. You will get there. There is not time limit. Less pressure on yourself. More reminding yourself of what brings you joy.
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