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Inky

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Viewing 15 posts - 721 through 735 (of 2,508 total)
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  • January 26, 2018 at 4:40 am in reply to: Broke up with my amazing boyfriend ROCD TRIGGER WARNING #189133
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Saya,

    The underlying current in your post is one of DISCONNECT. You are somehow disconnected from people, boyfriends, friends and “friends”. You don’t know how to define your feelings, or if you even have them, and so freak yourself out.

    I’m glad you moved out, having room mates who ignore you would get to me after a while.

    Your now ex-boyfriend sounds like gold, I wouldn’t lose him no matter how I thought I felt. Definitely keep him as a life long friend.

    The fact that you can’t really process your grandfather’s death makes me want to get you into therapy.

    Did something happen long ago that made you out of touch with your feelings?

    Inky

    January 25, 2018 at 5:20 am in reply to: My boyfriend is depressed about his divorce #188853
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Carrie,

    You should move out.

    That will give him the clarity he needs to work on the relationship or truly break up. Right now he’s working out (and taking out!) all his feelings onto you. That’s not fair!

    He shouldn’t even be in a relationship so soon after the divorce and should be concentrating on his daughter, while figuring out how to get his own health insurance. On top of getting his depression under control.

    Move Out,

    Inky

    January 24, 2018 at 8:27 am in reply to: Pulling out of an open relationship #188567
    Inky
    Participant

    edit: polyamoury

    January 24, 2018 at 6:20 am in reply to: Pulling out of an open relationship #188531
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Connie,

    I’m curious whether the wife knew they were in an open relationship LOL.

    “Open relationships” and “polyandry” is a fad. Don’t fall for it.

    At any rate, stop sending texts and pics.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 23, 2018 at 3:30 pm in reply to: Broke up with married man and it’s devastated me! #188371
    Inky
    Participant

    OK, before I couldn’t reply for some reason…

    OK, he isn’t leaving his wife even though the kids are grown.

    And he wants to see you in two years because he’s hoping against hope that you’ll meet someone new.

    When a man loves a woman, NOTHING will keep him away.

    Keep your dignity. Lose the married fellow. Unless and until, of course, he’s not married.

    Inky

    January 23, 2018 at 3:28 pm in reply to: Broke up with married man and it’s devastated me! #188369
    Inky
    Participant

    test

    January 22, 2018 at 9:12 am in reply to: From Bliss to Misery #188091
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi ManinBlack,

    I’m sorry you were (and are) her Dirty Little Secret. All I can think of is:

    1. Now that the allure, danger and excitement of seeing a Taboo Person is over, she is finally seeing you as just another ordinary guy. So several years ago this guy was heavily pursuing me. Nothing happened, but I absolutely loved the attention. Now that it’s several years later he reminds me of the green snot/blob character from the Mucinex commercials. I am legit embarrassed I let the flirtation happen. I CRINGE when I see those commercials. Just saying.

    2. And/or she is feeling extreme guilt for breaking up a family. Now that she is a little older she finally “gets” what that means. She feels not worthy. She thinks it’s too soon. She doesn’t want her friends or family, the ones she admires the most (p.s. she does not admire you), to catch wind that it was a past affair or connect the dots that SHE was ever ANYONE’S mistress.

    I don’t know what to say, man. Was it worth it? (No.) Did you learn anything? (Yes.)

    Now (perhaps) tell that little girl that you are dating grown women who are proud to be seen with you.

    Don’t be the Mucinex Guy.

    Good Luck!

    Inky

    January 21, 2018 at 9:50 am in reply to: Broke up with someone amazing #187907
    Inky
    Participant

    It’s akin to the “Don’t go down that particular street now” feeling. Then you find out there was a crime or accident there the next day. Or the feeling when someone’s lying to you or putting you on. Or feeling crazy excited about going to a certain event or signing up for a particular class. Or knowing what the most delicious thing on the menu (for you!) will be.

    The trick is not to second guess it. You may find something out years from now that will make you say, “Wow! Glad I dodged that bullet!”

    January 21, 2018 at 6:35 am in reply to: Broke up with someone amazing #187821
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Romeo,

    Everything can look great on paper, but sometimes there is this big, inescapable energetic “NO”!

    That is your gut talking. Your gut is your second brain. Actually, it is your first brain. It gathers all this information that your brain can’t compute right away. Your gut is millions of years old. Our brains are still evolving. Our guts have stayed the same.

    Listen to your gut. Don’t try to understand the reasoning of your gut. It’s too hard. But do heed it.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 20, 2018 at 8:23 am in reply to: After he cheated and did other things I want to leave but I can't #187737
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Reve,

    This is your first romantic experience. But now it is time for another first experience: the First Time YOU Break Up with Someone.

    It is freeing. It is empowering. It will be so wonderful because HE gets to cry, HE gets to see the error of his ways, and YOU will be the One Who Got Away.

    And guess what? That Aura will surround you and envelop you. You will have someone else before you know it. Someone better. Someone who instinctively will sense what you WON’T put up with.

    Blessings!

    Inky

    January 19, 2018 at 4:45 am in reply to: How do I forgive him? #187537
    Inky
    Participant

    P.S. To your parents he will always be The Guy who Bit their Daughter in the Face. If that helps give you any clarity.

    January 19, 2018 at 4:42 am in reply to: How do I forgive him? #187535
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi E,

    Even if he never abused you, I would say this:

    1. You put major stressors in your life by being a student, working full time AND living together all at once. Someone was eventually going to snap.

    2. I do not agree with living with a guy AT ALL. It never really works out. What’s the end game? Cheap rent? Marriage? Anyway, after years on the forum now, I have not seen living together ever end that happily.

    Now on to the abuse:

    You have seen his Dark Side. You know his full raw negative potential. Your parents sent you statistics because (sorry) you have officially Become a Statistic. So of course the woman (in general) tries to Prove Everyone Wrong. Their relationship Is Special. The more time goes on, “You’ll See! It will be like Nothing Ever Happened Fifteen Years Ago!”

    Is that what you’re going for?

    If it were me? Ideally SECRETLY Move Out, Ghost, and go to a Real Life University in 3D.

    Blessings,

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Inky.
    January 16, 2018 at 7:16 pm in reply to: The new assault on monogamy? #187097
    Inky
    Participant

    Can’t sleep! Another thought!

    I saw a documentary a long time ago (on Netflix??) about the evolution of a hippie commune back in the 60’s. Free Love and all that. Anyway, I had a good chuckle when people were getting genuinely UPSET  (a few years later in the early 70’s now) that people were starting to couple up, have pair bondings, and didn’t want the free love threesomes as much (or any more!).

    Another study was about kibbutzes. Not free love but with this communal living idea. The children would be raised in a house with all the other children and they would occasionally see the parents. Well over the decades guess what happened? People NATURALLY drifted back to family first, commune second living.

    People NATURALLY prefer MOST of the time two partner households. End of story. Family first. Others a distant second.

    Hope that helps!

    Inky

    January 16, 2018 at 6:56 pm in reply to: The new assault on monogamy? #187095
    Inky
    Participant

    Just some thoughts quickly…

    People are mostly monogamous most of the time. True, we are not like birds or wolves, some of whom mate for life as a biological mandate. That said, open relationships most of the time IS unnatural, it IS unevolved, it breeds too much jealousy (the swingers claim up and down that only the unevolved are jealous, I call bull s***!). It’s good you listen to your HIGHER self that WISELY tells you it’s WRONG for 99.99% of humanity, including YOU (and even them). Truly. Of course, some married couples have, do and will mess around, but it is kept very occasional, and very secret because the state of the household and the well being of the children take precedent over some mistress/Casanova.

    End of Rant, going to turn in!

    Inky

    January 16, 2018 at 5:26 am in reply to: How do I end loneliness #186975
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Nobody,

    A good start would be to change things like your Username. By naming yourself “Nobody” you are reinforcing the thought that you don’t exist, and so view yourself through that filter. Of course you think everyone’s ignoring you if you think you don’t exist! Know what I mean?

    Change your Thoughts!

    Inky

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Viewing 15 posts - 721 through 735 (of 2,508 total)
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