Hi MeditateMe,

Please don’t throw away a marriage with a child for some college boyfriend who broke up with you over “Nothing”.

They ALWAYS do this, these married or otherwise old college sweethearts!

Let me lay it out for you: He’s like you, married with a family and he’s getting bored. He digs out his proverbial little black book (what guys had before computers) and stumbles upon your number/social media/address/old yearbook photo.

He says “I remember Girlfriend Nothing! I wonder what she’s up to? Oh, she’s married *scoffs*. Well, she can’t be any happier than I am! Surely I will give her a call! Then when she dumps her hapless husband for me I’ll renew my vows with my wife!”

Please, if you’re going to get a divorce, wait until your child is older, and don’t do it because of that sad sap. Save yourself. This is just a test from the Universe.

Best,

Inky

Hi nickita,

I’ve been his friend (but not calling at 12 AM!!)

This is what’s going on:

1. You only call your sister at 12 AM for husband troubles. If I called my guy friend at 12 AM he would only be a sister to me.

2. She knows (or at least feels) his crush and it is an ego boost for her.

3. He is not getting validated from her (husband, just giving birth) so he is seeking some sort of validation (if only that his crush is real). THAT is why he is confessing to you his erotic feelings and parallel fantasy life.

4. The fact that he is also her husband’s friend so they will always be friends on some level. Are you willing to live with that?

5. He is getting off on you being jealous and/or upset. He thrives on drama. The drama that he exists and matters.

6. I would tell him you need a break. He’s a smart guy. He’ll figure it out. You don’t have to say anything.

Best,

Inky

Hi Azelastine,

It sounds like she’s the real loser here.

Reality Check: You are only in your twenties (still young!). You have a job (Awesome!). You seems to live within your means and are responsible (unless you’re not telling us something). In short, you are doing great!

As you know, especially after I’m sure reading finance and success articles, making money is only ONE THIRD of it! The other two:

1. Investing

2. Saving

Throw some of that money into the stock market, be a good steward and watch it grow. DON’T dip into that Principle!! (The secret!)

Then save the money you do have. Live like a cheap bastard. Make it an art form.

Before you know it, you will be a Millionaire at Thirty and a Multi-Millionaire at Forty. You will meet a nice girl who is WORTHY of you! Who WON’T marry you for your money (or dump you for the perceived lack thereof). What a wonderful surprise awaits this girl when she realizes that you can live like a Prince!

The other girl will look on, kicking herself for unceremoniously dumping you, as you live your life, in love, with children, complete with a white picket fence and a dog. And what will she have? Only Karma will one day tell…..

Best,

Inky

Hi John,

I have had two miscarriages, and let me tell you: IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! Yell it out loud. “IT IS NOT MY FAULT!” Read, rinse and repeat.

Women have been hunting, gathering, herding, working on farms and doing manual labor while pregnant throughout all of human history. What was she doing? Lifting a truck? Did you tell her to lift and carry a tree or something? Because honestly, if she was just lifting a heavy box and this happened… IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED ANYWAY! It was ready to happen at the next picking up of the laundry basket or young child. Believe it. Please.

The reason why she’s kind of sort of blaming you is because, hands down, she is blaming herself.

And that was ten years ago. This miscarriage is the “blame” for the Issue of Choice: She’s just not feeling it.

Well, I think she is very selfish. Don’t you dare go through or start the divorce proceedings yourself. Let HER do all the work.

Meanwhile, you know what you should do? This would make me look at my husband differently or in a good way:

1. GO TO THE GYM.

2. Come home hot, sweaty, upbeat, and with a smile on your face.

3. Make sure you dab a little cologne on you, wear a gold men’s bracelet, and/or wear snazzier collared shirts every day. But be subtle about it! (Trust me, she’ll notice!) Make her think that You look dam good, you clearly have a song in your heart, WHAT’S GOING ON?

No More Sad Dad,

Inky

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Inky.

Hi Sierra,

I would break up with him based on you not being that into him alone.

The emotional abuse is just the nail in his coffin.

Break up with him. Tell him he did it to himself. YOU should give yourself a nice new boyfriend for Christmas! (If you’re into someone.)

Sometimes you’re a Life Lesson to other people.

Meanwhile, enjoy your studies and independence!

Best,

Inky

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Inky.
• This reply was modified 6 years ago by Inky.

Hi Ariene,

I personally love to leave ’em hanging!

Let the Friend Request languish in your Notifications! Laugh as your Messenger blips that it’s them, but they never get a response! Delete negative comments on your Social Media as unapologetically as if you were the editor of Vogue!

It drives them CRAZY!

Then when they’ve seen 12 or so of their comments awkwardly out there with no response, they will realize that no response IS a response! They will “take a break” from you themselves. Then after six months they will Messenger you to see how you “are”.

THAT’S when you block them!

Laughing Maniacally,

Inky

Hi mallllh,

If the changes are less than a year old, then they may very well be surface-y changes.

But when it’s say, three years later, then hopefully those changes in behavior have become a good habit that he will have internalized.

Hope that helps!

Inky