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InkyParticipant
You are absolutely right!!
I used to go on every day. Then last year, every week. Now I go on when there’s a birthday, holiday or graduation to update everyone.
(See how I’m planning my final disappearance?? lol)
Eventually I will be Faded Out.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been on it, Jasmine, but it does pull you back in!! It’s like giving up cigarettes. (and I have!!)
A good website: The FaceBook Patch. LOL
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
InkyParticipantHi Mitra,
It sounds like you see his potential, but he’s not ready to Upgrade. Or worse, he can’t! Imagine having an iPhone that just won’t upgrade. It’s usually OK if it misses the first couple times. But if it misses the third time, you find you suddenly can’t use it anymore and have to buy a new phone.
Instead of putting him in the status of Relationship (Relationship meaning we have to do A, B and C), why don’t you “downgrade” him to someone you Care an Awful Lot About and Would Love to See However, Whenever? But the trick/key is to keep it Light. Not serious.
Meanwhile, see other people or be content with the way he is.
Only time and maturity will eventually do its work. OR NOT. That’s the thing.
Keep him on an informal, fun level (tell him that so there’s no confusion) while simultaneously moving on.
InkyParticipantEdit: Not that I was alive 50 years ago!
InkyParticipantOffice = Fish Bowl City!!
I dwell in Suburbia and seldom leave it. I am safe here. Well, except for the Lyme Disease. I only revisit the way the office was when I watch Mad Men on Netflix. 50 years later, human nature hasn’t changed.
InkyParticipantAnd not only is your GF all, “Why is that woman Liking his posts?” but get this ~ Are you sitting down? ~
All the other women on your Friends list is wondering the same thing!!
And the one Liking? She knows exactly what she’s doing! She is either interested, or truly doesn’t care. But if she didn’t care, she would know that your GF knows that. But your GF doesn’t know that. So she’s interested. Believe it.
Because we are psychic receivers, and exquisitely sensitive. Has GF ever been wrong? Exactly. 😉
You see, Big blue ~
To a woman, everything is Rife with Meanings of Epic Proportions!!
LOLZ!!! 😀
InkyParticipantOH I forgot.
Big Blue, women “Liking”, Commenting, Posting, and Sharing on your Wall is a way of marking their territory.
I don’t think “Liking” is a big deal. Now, if they were Commenting, Posting and Sharing all the time ~ refer to my post above, but with another twist!! LOL
InkyParticipantLOL!
This is how women are wired: “Who is that? What does she mean by that? What do they want? OMG, if She “Likes” something, so-and-so will know that they were at the wedding! How do I Hide comments so no one is offended and so they don’t know that they were at the wedding!?!? CRAP! Their mother-in-law’s cousin’s neighbor just Messaged me! They know! She knows! Everyone knows!!” (And they do).
Men: Log In. “Like”. Log off.
InkyParticipantI think social media is best for certain things. Like, I LOVE FaceBook for our town’s FB Group. You ask a question. BAM! Someone knows the answer. The friends from town are on there. It’s great!
Twitter ~ amazing for when you’re travelling and for emergencies or weather/traffic shout outs.
Yes, it’s a woman’s minefield. You have to be female to totally get how it’s an irritant to our uniquely socially wired brains. Buddha wouldn’t use FaceBook, just saying. I totally see him using Queron or some simple thing. HEY! (light bulb moment..) 😉
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
InkyParticipantThe hunt is on for a new social media site!! Time to move. It is creeping me out how Facebook is all up in your privacy, you log into other sites through FB, etc.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
InkyParticipantYes, I’ve clicked “Acquaintances” for almost everyone and UnFollowed. But they see my posts and Wall, that’s the thing.
InkyParticipantOne Friend’s account was always being “Hacked”. Now he is down to a comfortable 30 Friends. But oh, the drama!!
I think I have to go “Man”. Men seldom or never post on their own Wall. Everyone posts on theirs. No comments. I think the trick is to go Silent for a year. Sit on your hands. Post nothing. “Like” nothing. Comment on nothing. Message nothing. Game nothing. Say “I don’t do FaceBook anymore”. If you never post, They expect nothing. One year later delete Everyone but a few in one hour. To the complainers (who notice a day to six months later) say, “I didn’t do FB for years, I come back, I couldn’t log in, I had to start over with a new email/password.” They Friend you. You ignore. After all, you don’t do FB anymore. And you only have 2 Friends. Every year add 1.
Oh, God, Ruminant, there has to be an easier way!! LOL
InkyParticipantI tried the tier/group thing and it totally backfired!!
So I am proudly 1/4 Swedish (“Swedish”?). I did 23 and Me. Well, I found out that we are not as Swedish as we thought!! So I post in my “Close Friends” group about how do I tell my mother, why did I wear those Nordic sweaters all those years, etc. All in a joking way!!
So one of my friends complains to my sister, “What was with Inky’s post? Why is she not proud of being Swedish??”
I posted nothing about NOT being proud of being Swedish, AND now Sister is all prickly because it looks like I deleted a choice post that she couldn’t read or am now a FaceBook wizard.
I told her, “Oh, I have a Friend List, a Family List, a Gaming List, a Neighborhood List, etc.”
She gets MAD that She’s on the Family List!!! Like I lumped her with Them (see original post above).
So I decided to be Vanilla White, Rated G, BBC News tone to Everyone. Because the potential Fall Out is too great for those who KNOW they’re excluded (even from PTA news).
People want to see Everything. And I mean Everything. Take that as a compliment I guess??
My other option is to go silent for a Year, delete everyone at once and start over. No one can be mad if they see I only have two Friends and never post!!
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
InkyParticipantOMGoodness, I Love CL MC!!!
Ok, first, Craigs List is (my opinion) a smarmy side of the internet. Where common humanity gets together and can become their most basic selves.
A few years ago we were on a hunt to get a Maine Coon Cat. “Let’s try Craigs List” I said. I found it was more fun reading it than interacting with the people on it. The cat owners desperately trying to shed their cat would become paranoid. One started bullying my daughter online. Or we would have to pick the cat up in a dark alley at 10 PM in a bad city. Weird.
Missed Connections I read because it’s fun to read about strangers (who might be you!!) brushing elbows at real life places you’ve been. Or you know exactly which cute coffee barista they’re referring to! One big LOL!
Eventually the smarminess will catch up to you and you won’t be able to read one more post.
But I will read Best of Craigs List about once a year. Funny!
InkyParticipantThe first thing you should do is talk to your doc about your meds. Going off them yourself is never a good idea. Something needs to be added or changed. If you do go off, you will have professional guidance.
Joining a new (or old!) group/club/class and then meeting your favorite person outside of the group is good. Meet up with someone outside of the context of the group/event/activity so they can relate to you in a friendship way as opposed to a goal/agenda way.
Everyone is so stressed out and scheduled that they need help nudging them out of the busy/”busy” box.
Another way to do this is to have people from your neighborhood/church/work/wherever have a meeting/party at your house. This lures them into the comforts of your sanctuary, you give them wine, feed them, then they feel comfortable meeting up or swinging by socially. After all, they were in your home!
Good Luck!
InkyParticipantThis sounds like crazy wisdom, but put “DO NOTHING” on your To-Do List.
Tues. 1-2 PM: Do Nothing
Sit in the Uncomfortableness of the Nothing, in the anxiety of it. Make friends with it. Breathe it. Live it. Enjoy it.
It is The Moment. You will eventually notice that you need it, and it doesn’t suck. It is awesome!
Filling up your days is great, but even in busyness, The Moment is all we have.
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