Oh no, she’s cooking and cleaning? Not to be a Nervous Nell (yet again) but I would rather she pay half the rent than be on audition to be a housewife. If she moves, I’d be surprised. Gee, can I live there?? I’m not kidding, I’ve been cooking and cleaning longer than she’s been alive! What a sweet deal!

P.S. Don’t be conflicted about your feelings. Any and all feelings that come up are totally normal considering you’re in this obtuse situation.

I agree too but was too afraid to mention it. And what’s worse, he probably complained to her about the blow up. No wonder she doesn’t have female friends. Yikes.

Meditate on how all atoms in the Universe are the same. You are part of The Universe. Everything in the Universe is a part of you. Expand beyond your body in your mind so you become the room, then the house, then the world, etc. Pain and sensation is just the Universe giving feedback to a part of itself, which you have called “you”.

Also, if a Christian, meditate or read up on Christ Consciousness.

Gently go back to “you”.

Should feel better!

Later, on a practical note, for looks and success, etc. you can form habits and routines surrounding them. i.e. Body ~ diet, exercise, self care, makeup, done. Practice “Good Enough”. Like I’m an introvert ~ if I stay at a party for the duration and have a good time, that is a huge success! I’m not going to care what others think! That’s like, Master Level!

Men like damsels in distress. **Also, the more time they spend with a person, the more they grow on them.** That’s why he seems angry or didn’t ask about your feelings. He honestly thinks there’s no issue.

You don’t live there, and you’re not the wife. You are just the girlfriend. He can do whatever he wants without your permission. This reality has crashed into you suddenly where before you could be happy and carefree.

At his end, after a month, she should start giving him rent. That would make it a lot better.

At your end you could have him stay at your place, or stay all the time. Maybe help the girl get that apartment or set her up with some other friends temporarily. Put some furniture or a lot of your stuff there so there is suddenly no room at the inn.

For both of you, now have an agreement that no members of the opposite sex can stay over. Too much jealousy.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Inky.

Please don’t just pay attention to what Soul Friend, Wife and DH are SAYING.

Pay attention to the Energy and Vibe.

i.e. Wife could be saying, “Oh, it’s fine.” But the Energy might be all “THIS IS ONLY A TEST OF MY HUSBAND’S LOVE”. See the difference?

There’s a Reason why Soul Friend said he doesn’t want to take it to a physical level. Because he KNOWS Wife would be devastated, no matter what she says. But I’ll tell you what, if she wouldn’t like a physical thing, she 9/10 would be unhappy with a “mere” emotional thing. But she says nothing because it has to come from him.

I don’t know, in a perfect world I would have my spiritual friend, my best guy friend, my DH, my old crush, and my cute friend all in one platonic free love extravaganza with smiley faces, hearts and balloons. 😀 🙂 😉

But there’s a good chance someone would get hurt. And I’m not counting the wives.

This can work only if everything goes perfectly. Please be careful.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Inky.

I’m not a Buddhist, but one of the guidelines is sexual morality.

Here’s the thing ~ it’s a slippery slope. First it’s a warm hug. Then it’s hand holding. Then it’s hair stroking. And then Soul Friend gets jealous of DH. Then he’s leaving inappropriate texts. Then the wife suspects he’s in love with you. Then his mother dies and wife gives you the hairy eyeball at the funeral when you go to support him. Then DH is more jealous than he claims or you find he has had a bit of side action all along. Then the children get jealous of your time with Uncle Soul Friend. Then the youngest child calls him “Daddy”.

Honestly? I had something like this happen and I had to shut it down.

I would have Soul Friend and Family over several times a year. You will always have that mystical soul connection, but I wouldn’t see him alone. The wife’s spidey senses would be tingling from the energy shift. And it bothers me that DH isn’t a little jealous that another man is interested in his wife.

Hi Tracey,

Remember, if it happened twice, it can happen again. You do have it in you to have relationships, otherwise you would not have had that experience! Do what Kippie said about classes, volunteering, and appreciate your mom and friends. Then go to a professional matchmaker, beyond Match.com. They do exist! Esp. if you live in a city. Or tell your friends and family straight up, “I’m looking for someone.” Each person you know (about 100) knows 100 people you haven’t met yet. The guys will also treat you better and take you seriously because you are connected to someone they know.

Good Luck!

Well, people don’t really change at a quantum level ~ she wasn’t a straight up cheater, but it seemed she like playing on the edge, and just the knowing many (?) people are interested in her with the texts. It is possible that years down the line she could text (even to wave hi) at another guy during a weak moment. Women like attention and to be romanced and, yes, to know there are guys “waiting in the wings” for her. It’s an ego thing. It’s not just men who have egos! Just make sure you always give her attention and make her feel beautiful.

I hope she has grown up, or that she soon will. Don’t worry about the vacation. Worry about five years down the road during that weak moment when she doesn’t feel as attractive or meets someone who reignites that feeling in her.

Good Luck!