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Flinn

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  • in reply to: Trying to heal up #58602
    Flinn
    Participant

    Thanks, folks. This is really a supportive community on here. Still working hard on breaking the addiction, trying to keep my mind from constantly wandering to her. The ball of anxiety in my stomach is always there when I wake up everyday, it’s very tiring. I’ve tried quite a few relaxation and meditation techniques with a little success, but it always creeps back in. I do find listening to things like the above youtube link brings me some peace, so I will keep listening to those and keep trying to move onward.

    in reply to: Trying to heal up #58517
    Flinn
    Participant

    My heart goes out out to you, sounds like we both know the same pain pretty well! It’s tough when your brain tells you one thing and your heart wants to go the other way. I just keep trying to tell myself that I’m strong and deserving of love and I’m gonna be ok with or without her. I find it helpful to say these things out loud, it really works to hear it! Healing is certainly a process and even though every little thing is painful and some days are rough, I’m sure we’ll both get clear of it and someday look back from a place of happiness. I think it’s really important when we feel jealous and rejected to remind ourselves it’s not like the other person is setting out to make us feel bad, they’re living their lives and doing their own thing. The hurt comes in when it’s not doing it with US anymore, but we’re just as important and worth of love so hang in there. I will, too!

    in reply to: Trying to heal up #58474
    Flinn
    Participant

    I find what I’ve really been struggling with the last little while is the much lower level of talking between me and her. I know that’s a good thing, but even so, I know how addicted I was (am) to hearing from her. As I said, all my feelings of importance got tied up with her pretty bad. I used to be the guy she ran to if she had anything to vent or talk about. I’m trying not to take the fact that she doesn’t anymore personally. She keeps things pretty private as it is and lives with her best friend, so not being her boyfriend anymore, even with that old connection, I’m not #1 on the list anymore.

    I feel like if I can get past this addictive need to hear from her, I’d be doing way better overall. I’ve gotten better at not finding reasons to message her and as I said, she will still include me in group snapchat messages and the like. So while she is including me in those like she would the rest of her friends, my addiction keeps wanting more messages but just special ones for me, like it used to be. I haven’t asked her to stop those messages though as we’re in some of the same hobby groups and some actually are relative to my interests and others are of her and the kids, and even though that twinges my heart a little, it does make me smile to see them. These messages tell me, yes, she still wants me in her life, just not like it was before.

    I accept that, but I have to find ways to get past the addiction and find new things to occupy my attention. I can lose myself in my art for a bit, but my mind is always tugging me back. I imagine it’s just like getting off drugs! I want to branch out into other things to fulfill my life, I’m just at a loss how to go about it, I guess.

    in reply to: Trying to heal up #58448
    Flinn
    Participant

    I’m very glad I decided to post here today, the words of support have really been nice. I love those lyrics, as well, it certainly lets me see just how free I am to be whatever I want. The hurt will heal, I will hang on.

    in reply to: Trying to heal up #58435
    Flinn
    Participant

    Thanks for the kind words, folks, they really do help. A trip would be great. I can’t take one now, but I’ll definitely see what I can do about that in the not too distant future. It would certainly help remind me there’s a big world out there and get a little perspective.

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