Dear SamC

If feel your pain. My second grandchild spent probably 90% more time with her other granparents or at least if felt like that for the first year, mainly because I and her parents were working and so a lot of the child care was done by the grandfather who was retired.

Maybe you could suggest that your son and his family come around say for Sunday lunch or an outing on a day that is suitable for your both.  Your son may even feel jealous/ left out that you spend more time with his sister and her children.  Another suggestion could be a big family picnic with all the grandparents and it would be lovely for the cousins to play together.   I voiced my needs to my son and now once a month they come with the children for a sleepover having 4 generations under one roof is a challenge but I am so glad that I was brave enough to talk to my son.

Wishing you all the best

Dear Lunaryogini

Did he close his personal account and ask the bank to move all his standing orders & direct debits over to the new joint account? If so it could be an oversight that he did not weed out redundant debits.

If you choose to continue with this relationship then you both may benefit from couples counselling so that your relationship can flourish and each of you heal these underlying problems that you each appear to have.

Dear Chris

Please hang on in there even though it is tough. If you can go and sit out in nature, look and really see the marvel of life on this earth and let it start to help restore and nourish you. Nature is non judgemental and a great companion.

Please look after yourself, we are here to support you.

Dear Beni

Have you tried the Lovingkindness practice? There are loads on youtube both talks & guided meditations.

There are so many different versions i am pretty sure that you will find a couple that will resonate with you especially if you start with the ones that focus on self loving kindness.

wishing you all the best with finding your joy

Dear Ocean Shayan

I had a slightly similar situation. back in the late 90’s I acquired an almost ruin and land then in 2007 I took out a mortgage and had a small meditation centre built and in the early years parts were rented out as office space to help cover mortgage payments. The space is opened 24/7 to the public as a place of quiet refuge and is also used as short term emergency accommodation and retreats and until recently we held  guided meditation sessions 3 times a week ( meditation is now at my home twice a week due to me looking after my father) and I hope it will shortly also be used as a drop in space for the local community. Its monetary value is of no concern to me. even if others remark on its worth.  Buddhist teachings on 8 worldly concerns help ground & guide me.

Best wishes

Roberta

Dear Ocean Shayan

My childhood upbringing was loosely christian, which probably helps me find a initial interfaith dialogue.

Having lived in the same community on & off for nearly 60 years the residents can see how much I have grown & changed in the last 15 +years and as I walk the talk.  I also in general do not discuss the more esoteric aspect of buddhism, but stick to the more psychological stance which now thanks to modern science is becoming mainstream.

I agree it is harder & lonelier not having the support of a local buddhist community, but thanks to the internet I can access lots of teachings and facetime fellow remote friends/practitioners that and the immense wealth  and variety of written material now available means that I can study & practice with relative ease when family commitments allow.

I looked after my grandson 1 morning a week from the age of 3 months and I remember him feeding and sleeping on my lap whilst I did my prayers in the Shrine room, and during lock down I lived with him so he got used to me doing “Buddha Time”.

I wish you and your family all the best on the spiritual journey & hope that you will get the support to allow you all to flourish.

Dear Vee

I am not very good with technology but I would go onto the same app, put up your profile – with out a picture and limited info or info that would not attract many people  ie I am celibate. then after say 48hrs delete then the next day you can check to see if your profile says active, then that way you will have your answer and then you can make the decision whether you really want to continue with this particular relationship.

Hi Wisp

What an amazing chance, yes it can be scary stepping or rather sitting into the unknown (that is finding our true beautiful self).  How long is the retreat, does it have a theme, and how much silence? Also which lineage/ style of buddhism is it? Do you have or were brought up with a particular religion?

Helcat has given you some good starter tips and along with that unless you do yoga, practice the physicality of sitting. You can use a timer say 15 mins max to start with or light a small piece of incense and sit and just watch it burn down. There are instructions on how to sit on youtube I prefer the burmese style as it puts less strain on my ankles & hips.

Going on this retreat will give you the opportunity to deepen your friendship with your friend and give you a chance to meet a group of people who are looking for a kinder gentler way of living.  I have been going on/leading retreats since 2009 and they have varied in length the shortest is a day & the longest is 3 months. Try not to have any expectations and go with an open mind.

best wishes

Roberta