Omar

Are you referring to someone or something specific?

If so then please elaborate.

Mark

Gracie,

There are pregnancy test kits you can get in drug stores.  Unless you have had exposure to semen into your vagina then I would highly doubt you got pregnant.  There are clinics that you can go to as well to get examined as well as getting information on safe sex and birth control.

By the way, how old are you?

Mark

You are welcome JuliaM.

I judge people on their actions not on what they say that they intend to do.

If you have not seen any progress after one year of couples therapy then either get another therapist or save your money.  If he wants to change behavior then tell him to see his own therapist to help him do that.

Mark

Anna,

Thank you for your brave sharing here.  It sounds like you crave connection with genuine people, those who are authentic and with integrity.   Good for you!  It seems that you really mourn that you don’t have that in your life with anyone.  You want someone who gets you, who truly understands who you are.  You crave your tribe.

I totally get it.  I too have that same desire.  I am in my 60s and I have consciously been working on creating a community, a tribe since my 40s.  I have focused working on myself in understanding myself, to be more self aware, to be more mindful in being authentic and honest with myself.  I have a small circle of friends who are self aware, honest, and kind in varying degrees.  I have worked hard in attracting such a circle.

All I can offer is that you work on loving yourself which in turn loving others.  We are all One.  We are all flawed.  We all do the best we can do usually based on our upbringing.  We are products of that.  If you understand that people behave from how we learned from our upbringing then you are better equipped on understanding why people are assholes, lairs, cheats as well as those who have immense kindness, who are self sacrificial and who are all of that.  I believe that if I understand people then that is the first step towards compassion.

I believe the more I work on being self compassionate and self aware then I will attract the same.  I encourage you to do the same.  It can be a long and hard road but it is well worth the struggle.  Plus you have this community (among others) to draw upon support.

Mark

Connie,

You feel sour from hearing from him.  You still care about him deeply.

I believe you can still love and care deeply about someone and not be in a romantic relationship.  You can love him from a distance, in absentia as it were.

I wonder what caused the breakup from him.  I wonder why the breakup was not peaceful.

Mark

that girl next door,

You are confused about how to make your relationship with your married sister better?

This is what I gleaned from what you posted:

It seemed that your best friend got in between your sister and her older husband.  Your sister became very close to your friend.  Your sister got annoyed (at you?) because you did not tell her what her husband said about your friend.  She is also annoyed that her husband is interfering with her relationship with you?

Now your sister does not want to talk with you and you want to find a way to make things better with her.

My question is that have you tried talking with her (rather than email or text)?  You can let her know how much you miss her, how you want a close(r) relationship with her and how you want to support her.  You can just be an empathetic listener.  You need not share to her what you feel about her husband for that is no point doing that.

There is a saying about communication: you ask three questions to yourself before speaking.  Is it true?  Is it useful?  Is it kind?

Mark

B

For anxiety and for life in general, deep breathing works to calm the nervous system.

Another thing you might want to try thinking they you will still be alive regardless despite whatever happens.

You can practice with someone you feel safe with before you try it with your classmates as well.

Good luck

Mark

sadman11

Your moniker and what Anita has pointed out are reasons for you to focus on healing yourself.

Start with having a loving relationship with yourself.

Mark