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February 23, 2026 at 5:23 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #455419
anitaParticipantDear Robi:
Interesting, you started this thread on Feb 18, 2024 and we talked on Feb 23, exactly 2 years ago. On this day (2 years ago), you got a job interview in Spain for March of that year.
Not very long ago, really.
As to what you shared today (Mon night, your time), I can understand your frustration in regard to your girlfriend. You wrote something to the effect that you’re exhausted and may not make sense, but truly, to me, you make perfect sense. The way you present the conflicts with her sounds fair to her, objective, seeing 👀 both sides’ validity.
As I 👀 it (I’m using my 📱, and when I do, all these emojis show up and I can’t help but click on them, and sometimes I ask for them), the fact that (it seems to me), she’s enmeshed, or emotionally fused with her mother, is a big problem because it means that.. if you choose the daughter, you also choose the mother 😱 ?
Is she at all troubled by her emotional dependence/ enmeshment with her mother?
Of course, ongoing arguments 🙄 are not considered the basis of a healthy relationship.
I am curious about what an argument 🤔 between the 2 of you looks like, like who starts it, what does she say, what do you say.. and I wonder: in what specific, concrete ways do you need her to be invested in you (which she is not)? Is it that she’s not willing to pay all of the rent until you are able to contribute?
And I understand you may be too exhausted 😩 to answer this.
Which brings me to the thought 🤔 that a relationship should Energize 🔋, not Exhaust.
Hope to read from you soon enough. I wish 🤞 you Clarity and the Energy 🔋 that accompanies clarity.
😱👀🔋🌙 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Confused:
The 24/7 rumination brings me back to what I shared with you much earlier: that I was diagnosed with OCD and was prescribed with Zoloft (it’s the brand name of an SSRI drug, forgot the generic name) for OCD and it helped me A LOT.
Of course, what worked for me may not work for someone else. (and I don’t know if your rumination is OCD). If you do see a psychiatrist soon, maybe explore this possibility.
Coming to think 🤔 about it, you’re numb to life as it is (the present) but emotional over the past. So, you do feel intensely 😢 about what WAS. Numb for what IS. Did I get it right?
🤔 Anita
anitaParticipantHello Debbie 🙂
I love how you describe the meaning behind each piece — especially the rings from your mother and grandmother. It’s beautiful how objects can hold memories and intention.
I’m not wearing intentional jewelry right now, but I really enjoy hearing the stories behind what others choose and what those items mean to them.
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHi Sonia,
I’m really glad to read back from you 🙂
It makes so much sense that these new boundaries feel strange and uncomfortable. When you’ve spent years putting others first, doing something healthier can feel like you’re doing something wrong, even though you’re not. The guilt you’re feeling doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong — it just means you’re doing something new.
Boundaries often feel awkward at first, but they’re part of taking care of yourself, and it sounds like you’re already noticing moments of relief. It’s also really healthy that you’re letting yourself feel the emotions instead of shutting them down. That’s how real change happens.
A lot of people who’ve spent a long time being very tuned into others’ feelings find that boundaries feel unfamiliar at first. I relate to that — I grew up being very tuned into my mother’s emotions and not having many boundaries. As an adult, saying “no” or not people‑pleasing felt like I was doing something wrong to the other person. It’s something I’ve had to work on too.
Thank you for the update. I’m always glad to hear from you, whenever you feel like sharing.
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHello again, Confused 🙂. I’m okay even though I got up too early (5 am).
I missed talking with you. I mean, I don’t want to analyze what happened or what is still happening (the dissociation, emotional shutdown, depression perhaps, whatever it is), but I missed talking with you.
I wonder, are you still in contact with her, and any news in regard to the psychiatrist or in regard to therapy?
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipant… Zenith.. ???
anitaParticipantLaven, you haven’t been forgotten, not by me.
✨️🌙 Anita
anitaParticipantHow are you friend? 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHow are you, Sonia? 🤔 ✨️🌙 Anita
February 22, 2026 at 7:49 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #455391anitaParticipantDear Robi:
I’m wondering 🤔 if you’re still in Romania right now, and hoping you’re in Warsaw, although I understand the challenges in regard to your gf and her mother.
If only things could be simple and easy 😕
✨️🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantI hope 🙏 you’re okay this Sun night 🌙, Omyk. I hope there’s a well deserved peace in your heart 💙 tonight, today, and every day.
✨️ Anita
anitaParticipantI hope you’re okay 👍, Confused.
✨️🌙🤔 Anita
anitaParticipantI hope 🙏 to read from you again, leanBee.
🌙🙏 Anita
anitaParticipantI wonder how 39-year-old Tom is feeling today/ tonight. I hope 🙏 well?
✨️ Anita
anitaParticipantHow are you this Sun night 🌙 10:30 pm Florida time, Nichole?
I just “harassed” Bogart the Beagle, that is, showed him some loving attention. We all need that, don’t we 🙂
🤔 Anita
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