Dear Greg:

“I was literally battling up with malaria yesterday. Perhaps I’ve recovered now and feels physically fit“- I hope you did recover, Greg!

I am not any kind of expert at proofreading (and English is not my first language), or at applying for scholarships (in the U.S., in South Sudan or anywhere else in the world), so please keep that in mind as I do my best proofreading and commenting on your niece’s two answers (my comments are in parentheses and my re-writing suggestions are boldfaced):

Answer 1: Dear Admission officer, As a dedicated student with a passion for community service and leadership ( (I would write more directly: I am a dedicated student with a passion for community service and leadership, and), I have consistently sought opportunities to grow both academically and personally. My journey has been marked by academic excellence, active involvement in community work, and a commitment as a housewife too,  leading with integrity and purpose. (add detail, ex., if her household includes children: and a commitment as a housewife, teaching my children to have integrity and purpose in life).

I have excelled academically (give a bit of detail what “excelled academically” means, like what grades did she earn), earning a place on the school ’s List (what is the title of the List? For ex., List of Excellence) for three consecutive years, and being awarded a prestigious scholarship for my hardworking (hard work) in (the) science section at Kuajok Comprehensive College. My coursework in sustainable development (I would underline or italicize “sustainable development”) and participation in a capstone project (again, I would underline or italicize “capstone project”) of academic (delete “of academic”) on renewable energy solutions have equipped me with the knowledge and skills essential for making a meaningful impact.
My commitment to community service is reflected in my work with (the) Samaritan clinic (Samaritan Clinic) as an affiliate offered (delete “offered”), where I volunteered to organize clean-up drives and educational workshops in underprivileged areas. Leading a team of volunteers, I successfully raised awareness about environmental conservation, reaching over 12 community members. This experience not only honed my organizational skills, but also deepened my understanding of the importance of grassroots activism.
In my role as Head perfect (Head Perfect, if both words are in the title of her role, also, underline or italicize it) of the Kuajok Comprehensive College, I spearheaded initiatives aimed at promoting sustainability on campus. This included organizing a campus-wide recycling program and collaborating with local businesses to reduce waste. Navigating the challenges of coordinating a large team and managing logistics, I developed strong leadership and communication skills, which were crucial in the program’s success.
Balancing (a) rigorous clinic hospital with part-time work to support my education and house chores has been a significant challenge. Overcoming this taught me time (self-)management, perseverance, and the value of hard work. Additionally, coping with a major personal loss (perhaps give a minimal detail of the kind of loss, just a few words) during my sophomore year was a turning point that strengthened my resilience and determination to excel.
With a blend of academic excellence, community engagement, and proven leadership, I am confident in my ability to contribute positively to (the) Nursing Program at Ayii  university (University), if award this opportunity (if I am awarded this valuable opportunity). I am eager to bring my skills, experiences, that I’ll earned in this role, and to continue growing as a leader committed to making a difference. (I am eager to bring my skills and experience to the Nursing Program at Avii University, and continue to grow as a leader, committed to making a difference).

Answer 2:  Dear Admission Officer, If given this opportunity to study medicine, I’ll truly (delete “truly”) use this knowledge and experience, that will equipped me with the skills (delete “that will equipped me with the skills”) to address critical healthcare challenges in underserved populations. I am particularly driven to use and improve healthcare in South Sudan, where disparities in access to essential services are profound.

*Educational Background:** My academic journey has been focused on understanding and addressing health inequities. Through the little experience I’ve earned from Tonj Civil hospital (Hospital) and health systems management (underline or italicize “health systems management”), I have gained a comprehensive understanding of the social determinants of health and the strategies needed to combat them. Additionally, my dream is to be (a) medical attendant, to save the life (lives) of vulnerable  people, settings honed (delete “setting” and instead: honing, or refining) my ability to deliver patient-centered care, particularly in resource-limited environments.

“Understanding of the Challenges in South Sudan:** South Sudan faces significant healthcare challenges, including high maternal and child mortality rates, widespread infectious diseases, and a severe shortage of healthcare professionals. The ongoing conflict and displacement have further exacerbated these issues… I envision a future where basic healthcare services are available to even the most remote communities, where maternal and child health outcomes are significantly improved, and where the burden of infectious diseases is greatly reduced. I am committed to ongoing learning and adapting my strategies to meet the evolving needs of the population, ensuring that my efforts have a lasting and positive impact.”- I have no proofreading or other suggestions to this part, reads excellent to me. I like the humility in being “committed to ongoing learning and adapting my strategies”, in combination with her positive attitude/ optimism that she will have a “lasting and positive impact”.

I am impressed by your niece’s intelligence, education and plans to help improve healthcare in South Sudan!

anita

Dear  Bibi:

(I am adding the boldface feature ton the quotes in this post selectively) “I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and he’s been nothing kind. He’s exactly what I wanted in a guy and more! I loved him so passionately up till recently. I’ve grown bored of him and haven’t craved his company. I suppose during school I had my distractions but now it’s summer”-

– for some time, it was passionate/ exciting: the new relationship and being in school, but then, out of school and the relationship not as new, the excitement was gone, replaced by boredom.

“I hate feeling this way because he’s so kind and perfect. He’s done nothing but treat me right and I can’t seem to love him as much as he loves me. Why???”-

– many girls/ women get bored with good, perfect guys, and excited by bad guys.

“I’ve thought maybe I’ve become bored of him because in my past relationship, my first boyfriend treated my bad“- I wrote the above before I read this part! Maybe bad=exciting, good-=boring..?

“growing up I’d say my childhood was fairly good besides having divorced parents who would fight like nobody was around“- when they fought like nobody was around, that was exciting (a negative kind of exciting: scary, distressing). Maybe you got used to excitement (negative or positive)?

“I’m scared now that the feeling of not wanting him will come back but I’ve tried to be happier about the fact that I love him in my life and I hope I will feel more stable in the future.”-

– from very well mind/ signs of a boring relationship and what to do about it ( the very ending of the article): “It’s perfectly normal for relationships to settle into something more stable and steady over time. But more complicated factors such as poor compatibility, lack of communication, and lack of effort might also cause boredom.”

Dear Strawberry (and Bibi):

“I relate to your statement, a six month relationship and growing bored… I love him but I’m sadly no longer in-love with him. Whenever he texts, I just roll my eyes or ignore it for a while because I just do not want to talk to him and become annoyed when he tries to. It honestly really sucks since he’s amazing and has done almost everything right... I become slightly annoyed whenever someone brings him up”-

– same problem, getting bored, but in addition there is anger at him, something that Bibi didn’t mention (or I didn’t detect it). I wonder if growing up, Strawberry, you experienced a mix of love and anger at a parent/ family member who you were close to?

“I right now don’t completely know what to do, if I want to end things or if I want to see if I will fall for him all over“-

Here is more from the website I quoted from above (for you, Strawberry, and for Bibi): “The early days of your relationship with your partner were likely filled with feelings of excitement and an intense urge to spend time with one another. However, the intensity of those initial feelings often wanes over time… This is a typical sign that your relationship is moving from what is known as passionate love (which is usually more fleeting) into what is known as compassionate love (which is more enduring)…

“Boredom in relationships can also be caused by other factors beyond this natural shift from passionate to compassionate love… The following are a few reasons why you might suddenly feel bored in your relationship: * You have different interests… * You don’t have deep or meaningful conversations… * You don’t make an effort to combat boredom: When you start feeling bored, it is important to take steps to add excitement back into your relationship…

“The key to addressing it is to open up a line of communication with your partner. Be open and honest about how you feel. Once you both understand what is going on, you can either work together to address the problem or talk about other options, which might include couples counseling or potentially breaking up. Ultimately, remember that relationships aren’t always effortless. They take work—even when it comes to keeping the spark alive. There’s no single, simple solution that is right for every couple. However, if you are both willing to commit the time and effort, you can work together to get your relationship back on the right (more exciting and satisfying) track“.

Wishing the two of you (and your boyfriends) well.

anita

Adding: I had to figure out what it is that I believe in vs what my OCD has been telling me for so long (too long). For example, my OCD was telling me that all (mostly all, if not all) people are BAD. I believed it. Fast forward, I now believe that there are indeed many bad people (via their words and actions), but there are many good (although imperfect) people.

In the past, I went straight to negatively judging people. Now, whenever possible and appropriate, I shift from judgment to empathy.

To be myself is a product of what I choose to believe (following thinking and figuring it out). I figured that human reality is not a good reality, but it is not as bad as my OCD has been telling me. In the process of seeing (many) others as better people than I previously believed, I see myself as a better person than I previously believed.

I hope this helps.

anita

Dear Greg:

“the boy applied for Medicine and the girl with nursing… 1.How will your healthcare use your education to contribute to improving healthcare for underserved populations in South Sudan? (Max 500 words only)“- if I was to answer this question, I would first read about the history of healthcare in South Sudan, and about the current healthcare situation: strengths, weaknesses, and what needs to improve for the underserved population in Sout Sudan. I would express that I care about the underserved population and that I am very motivated to help them. I would bring up any of my past efforts to help the underserved in my community, such as donating food and volunteer work.

From merry. com/ blog/ common scholarship essay prompts (no spaces): “2. How have you contributed to your community? This is a common essay prompt for community service applications.  In this essay, describe your experience in community service, explain how you’ve given back, or share volunteer opportunities you’ve participated in… How do you plan to continue to support your community in the future?…Sometimes this is easy because your intended career path is service-oriented (for example, if you want to be a nurse, doctor, teacher, or social worker)”.

Second question you posted, Greg: “2. Why should you be selected? any challenges  overcome and qualification. Please discuss that you any have academic community work or leadership experiences (Max. 500 words only)“- In regard to answering this question, they can go to the same resource I mentioned above (merry. com/ blog/ common scholarship essay prompts). Quote (a similar questions to #2 above): “7. Why do you deserve this scholarship? Scholarship providers are basically asking, “Why should it be you?” with this scholarship essay prompt. Paint a picture of why you’re the most deserving student for this scholarship award…”.

There may be other online resources regarding answering scholarship application questions in an essay form. There are also resources regarding answering the same questions in an in-person interview form, and these can be helpful as well. Two such are: scholarshiptab. com/ blog/ top 40 scholarship interview questions and answers, and in regard to scholarships in medicine: meds school insiders. com/ pre med/ scholarship interview questions.

A quote from the latter: “4. Why Should You Get This Scholarship Over Other Candidates? Being asked to compare yourself to other candidates is often the hardest question to answer, as it requires you to be confident and humble at the same time… Lead with humility while also not shying away from the strengths, attributes, and aspirations that make you an ideal fit for this scholarship”.

There is more that the two young people in your family can use from the online resources I mentioned (and other resources they may come across). I wish them success, and I wish better health care for the underserved in South Sudan!

anita

Dear t:

“He’s pretty emotionally disconnected and tells me he often doesn’t know what he’s feeling until after the emotion has passed… I think maybe he’s found this relationship unexpectedly demanding“- the relationship demand more of him, emotionally, than he can deliver, being that he is emotionally disconnected.

“I am very sensitive and anxious to begin with, so I haven’t handled it well either. I’m bothered by how much has been lurking and have been feeling very emotional and pessimistic lately.“- tell me more about you feeling very emotional and pessimistic lately.. is it how you felt growing up with your mother?

I find that having lived through a difficult/ traumatic childhood, people- as adults- keep re-living the same childhood emotional experience in adult circumstances. Do you find this to be true?

anita

Dear Greg: I will read and reply when I am back home (it will be hours from now).

anita

Dear Zenith:

“my thoughts haven’t stopped. Do you think this is OCD?“- yes.

“OCD always told me that I am never good enough“- OCD is not a friend. Living with OCD is.. living with an enemy.

“Now its saying that my friend has hurt me and she is not good enough“- OCD is separating you from yourself (telling you that you are not good enough), and it is separating you from others (telling you that others are not good enough).

This is what OCD did to me, both of what I mentioned right above. I can’t believe I no longer have this enemy living with me (in that space in-between my ears). So, now, in my estimation: I am good-enough and you, Zenith, are also good-enough!

“Like all the obsessive thoughts won’t stop… Now my brain is worried that B will get close to C and her group just like A did. They all will get close and I will be left with no friends… Now it feels life without friends is empty… I am scared pf being alone.“- as a human being, you need friends. When you have a friend, or friends, you get scared of losing them and ending up alone. Your brain focuses on the fear of losing a friend and OCD runs with that fear.

“Before my daughter was born I used to enjoy my time alone at home and with my husband. I used to have zero friends and that never bothered me“- not never-bothered. For a while, it didn’t bother you.

“I don’t want friends anymore“- it feels like too much trouble to have friends, too much anxiety, so I understand that the quick solution that comes to mind is to not have friends anymore!

“It feels my brain is seeking validation from other others. My self worth is defined by others“- it’s natural for a human being (a social animal, one who lives with and is interdependent on others) to seek others’ validation, and for one’s self worth to be affected by others’ behaviors toward us. Thing is to not seek validation excessively and to not overreact to others’ behaviors.

“Based on my experience, some Indian friends are emotionally draining“- more draining because of  excess in seeking their validation and overreacting to their words and behaviors..?

“If I have to make new friends, I have to invite their families home and cook food for them. I feel like making friends is physically and emotionally draining and I don’t have time for the it“- I understand. Possible solutions: make a friend or two who are not Indian? Also: if you could meet a friend for coffee in a coffee place, or for a walk outside, you could have time with a friend without having to cook for them.

“On top of that. I expect a lot from people, I guess. I expect them to make me their top priority friend.“- it’s almost like you are trying to undo what OCD is telling you (that you are a low priority to your friends) by taking it to the other extreme: expecting to be top priority!

OCD is an enemy in the ways it affects you, although its intention is good: it is trying to protect you, to help you solve problems.. but it’s misguided, it’s not logical, not sensible, it’s impulsive, it jumps to conclusions. So, it ends up harming you again and again.

Right above, is what OCD did to me.

“Earlier, I was ok with people not making me their top priority,(that)  and I accepted the fact people change over time. This time it’s getting hard to accept. I am just filled with anger.“- for a while you were okay with people not making you their top priority.

I guess that whenever you feel that you are others’ low priority, you get (naturally) angry, and sort-of demand (at least in your own mind) that they make you their top priority, trying to over-compensate your hurt feelings.

In a way it’s like it’s a hot summer and you’ve been wanting cold ice-cream for a very long time, but not getting to have it. You imagine, in your mind, that when you finally get to have ice-cream, you will have a huge amount.. to compensate for no amount for too long. Do you relate to tis example?

anita

Dear Clara:

You are welcome! “How ironic it is that I seemed to have found some of her patterns, that she didn’t even realize, AFTER we break up“- it doesn’t surprise me that you are getting to know her better after the breakup because you were not exposed to her behaviors after breaking up with you.. before she actually did.

“I am very used to putting the blame on myself when things go  wrong, I guess that’s where I doubted if I was wrong… it seems asking her to move out ASAP is the best, for the both of us actually. It is important to hold her responsible for what she has chosen”– absolutely! You did nothing wrong when you asked her to move out ASAP. It was the right thing to do.

“The therapy went very well… I was able to find a moment which I was hugged by my mother when there was one time I was very upset, probably at 8 or 9 years old. I sat on that image, and my therapist said that was the moment when I was securely attached… I have tears in my eyes just recalling this, and I do feel a sense of warmth coming up from my chest now“- a moment of secure attachment 3 decades ago brings tears to your eyes today.. this is how precious secure attachment (the feeling of safety) is. One can rest in such a memory.

“Last week… I hugged this stuffed animal and I felt I was hugging my inner child, in my imaginary exercise, I hugged my little child“- hug the 8 or 9 years-old Clara, prolong that memorable hug.

“My therapist also said, I am used to caring for others, at times like this, I should also be taken care by others, like a carefree dinner with my friends“- I very much like your therapist’s input.

“I realized the lifegoal of my ex and myself are different also. She is still exploring and experimenting life, while I am very ready, and may be wanting to have a home/ even family of my own“- she is exploring and experimenting, but repeating a pattern that keeps her the same. You are ready for something different, for a change in yourself and in your experience of life in the context of a romantic relationship: this is exciting!

“I felt more secure, and my heart is definitely clearer after today’s session.“- good thing. Whenever you need to, re-read this sentence, this whole post you just submitted. And please post again anytime you fee like it.

anita