Dear Jana:

Thank you for sharing more. I really enjoy reading from you. I understand that reading long posts on your phone can be challenging and that you might be busy. It’s perfectly okay if you don’t read any part or all of my post. Writing this helps me understand myself and others better, which is my passion. If you have the time and feel up to it, I hope the information will be helpful for you too.

In your two recent journal entries, you expressed feelings of low self-esteem (a dominant feeling growing up ad onward, until quite recently!)

You expressed sensory overload (which has been true to me.. until recently, way less of it). A note about sensory overload: it occurs when one or more of the body’s senses are overstimulated to the point where it becomes overwhelming, leading to feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious, irritable, unable to focus or function properly, and having a strong urge to escape the situation. Sometimes a sensory overloaded person experiences headaches, dizziness, or nausea. Common triggers: constant or sudden loud sounds, bright lights, crowded spaces, strong smells, textures and touch, and in my case: my own body’s sensations like physical pain (however small) and physical discomfort (like wearing tight clothing).

For a sensory overloaded person, it is recommended to remove oneself from the triggering environment if possible, to practice deep breathing exercises to calm down, to use earplugs or noise-canceling headphones to reduce noise, white noise machines when trying to sleep, and to have a predictable routine because it helps reduce unexpected sensory input.

You shared that you are an introvert (I was, very much so.. until recently.. well, way less now!) A note about being an introvert: it means that a person tends to be more focused on their internal thoughts and feelings rather than seeking external stimulation, feeling recharged by spending time alone or in quiet, calm environments. We tend to think deeply and reflect on our thoughts and experiences before (and if) we respond, usually preferring smaller social gatherings rather than large crowds, and we have a few close friends (if any) rather than a wide social circle. Introverts are usually more sensitive to sensory input (see sensory overload above).

There is a myth about introverts, which is that introverts are unfriendly or anti-social, which in regard to many introverts is not true: introverts can be warm and friendly, they simply need more time to open up to others.

You expressed feelings of alienation, of not Fitting In, of being out of place/ an outcast in a society that values extroversion and career success (very true to me.. until recently). Interestingly, there are extroverts who also have these feelings sometimes or even regularly.

Dear Zenith:

It’s great to read that you’re doing well and had a fun time at Disney! Spending time with family and seeing your little one so happy must have been wonderful. It sounds like you had a really nice trip to Disney. Family moments like these are special and create great memories.

It’s normal to feel emotional about your child growing up. Those feelings of time passing quickly can be bittersweet.

Good to read that you made peace with your friend. Setting boundaries is smart, especially if you don’t want to get hurt again. It’s good that you can still meet for your kids’ sake.

Worrying about getting older is a common concern, even for someone in their mid-30s. At 35, many people reflect on the past and future goals. Even though 35  or so, is still young, some people start noticing physical changes, such as slower metabolism or the beginning of age-related health concerns.  Concerns about financial stability and planning for retirement can become more pronounced, and uncertainty of future economic conditions contribute to these worries.

Maintaining and building strong social support networks becomes more important as people think about their future social life.

I hope that you connect with reasonable and supportive people and find ways to manage your anxiety best you can.

You’re doing great, and it’s okay to feel the way you do. Whenever you someone to talk to, I’m here.

anita

Dear EvFran:

Thank you for your kind words, and it’s good to know that you are around as well 🙂

It’s completely understandable to feel horrible and frustrated in such a difficult situation. You’ve done everything you can to support your uncle. You made sure he has access to all the necessary information and support, which is a testament to your care and thoughtfulness. I admire your care and dedication to him and it being for such a long time.

Sometimes (maybe often), despite our best efforts, we can’t change how others respond.  It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself credit for all that you’ve done.

You made significant personal sacrifices for your uncle’s well-being. Realizing that you need to prioritize your own life and well-being is a crucial and brave step.  It’s okay to make decisions that ensure your own happiness and health. It’s inspiring to hear that you’re planning for your future and seeking positive changes.

Maybe the following affirmations will help you along the way: I have the strength to overcome challenges and build the life I want, 

I deserve to take care of myself and prioritize my well-being,

I am capable of achieving my goals and creating a fulfilling future.

You have a lot to offer, and taking this time for yourself will help you heal and grow. If you ever need someone to talk to or more support, I’m here for you!

anita

Dear Jana:

“I believe I still cling to the feeling that people in general don’t like me. And it is hard for me to let it go.. I am still working on it. It appears to be a looong way to accept this feeling”-

– Recognize and accept that you have this belief. Understanding where it comes from and how it affects your thoughts and behaviors is the first step towards change.

In regard to where this belief comes from, you shared on Dec 4: “My mom… used to be nervous and grumpy all the time when we were children… When I tried to tell her about what happened to me or my social phobia, I always felt like I was bothering her terribly. And she either got mad at me (‘Could you stop it?!’ … ‘Could you just leave me alone for a while?!’) or ignored me (‘No.’ … ‘I don’t know.’ … grumpy ‘Hmmm.’). Either way, no discussion, no understanding, no words of comfort from her. I learned that it was better to be quiet and fight my way through it all on my own”-

–  your mother’s grumpiness, rejections and lack of emotional support and understanding while you were growing up played a significant role in shaping your self-esteem and social perceptions, and gave birth, so to speak, to the core belief that people in general don’t like you.

It’s understandable and natural to generalize a parent’s behavior: my mother doesn’t like me=> people in general don’t like me.

Dear Jana:

It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into your mindfulness and meditation practice, which is wonderful. 😊 I understand your concerns about finding a suitable work environment and the challenges of being an introvert. It’s great that you’re aware of your needs and what’s best for your well-being.

Trust yourself and the progress you’ve made. Take small steps and make decisions that align with your values and comfort. Wishing you all the best in finding a balance that works for you.

Take care!

anita

How are you, Zenith???

anita