Well, Going Through Life, after the above post, I walked toward the place where I volunteer and spent a good hour picking the last of the pears still hanging on to many hundreds of trees.. only TEN pears. I then gifted the best of the picked pears to a friend in the local taproom, purchased 4 dozen eggs from another friend who raises chickens, had two, scrambled for dinner, now half-listening to the news (about the Democrats winning U.S. elections) back home 🙂

🤍 Anita

Dear Tom: I will reply later (about to go out and take advantage of a bit of sun).

Dear Going Through Life:

Almost a farmer, yes. This is a farming area, people growing potatoes, seed crops (growing things broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage) specifically for selling- not the vegetables, but the seeds, as well as lots of raising cows, goats (haven’t seen pigs around).

“Why do you say it’s a much needed practice?”- in regard to building/ developing social skills: it’s a much needed practice to me because I am learning that in communicating with people, way more important than Intent, is how my words and behaviors impact others. How they land. It’s about attuning not just to what’s happening within me, but to what’s happening inside other people.

“And this brings me to share with you that I have planned to take myself out on a short solo trip, I will stay in a hostel and maybe make new friends. I’ll be going to a place which is very close to my heart and it’s been calling me for some time now. Earlier SS and I planned to go there before all the drama happened.”- how exciting to hear (read)!

“You’re a gentle creature Anita, I also ask for everyone’s happiness when I’m praying to the god I believe in. I hope for everyone’s happiness, me, my family, my friends, their families and for everyone on earth. That’s my prayer ritual.”- thank you, Going Through Life, for a foundation of Composure, Integrity, Aura, Masculinity, and Kindness (CIAMK)

“On a side note, today was my first session of acne scar treatment, so my face is still swollen but I’m excited to see the results after a week or so. And I have also lost around 3 kg of weight, I’m on the right track. The only thing left behind is my studies, I have a very important exam in February 2026”-

I am excited at the thought of reading about your experience looking in the mirror after a week or so. Glad you’re on the right track, and hoping you will soon study for the exam three months from now.

“Anita, I still miss SS sometimes, thinking I could have done better, I should have shown up more and taken care of my avoidant attachment style.”- I wish she could or would have done better too..

“I miss her and I’m sad the SS I knew is no more. She’s just an image in my mind.”- I relate to this kind of sadness 😔

There will be a she in your life who will be more than an image.. a breathing, living, 3-D person 🙂(later, no rush).

Well, my day has been so far in front of the computer, will be out and about soon. I don’t know how it would be like. I’d love to tell you about it later.

🙂 🤍 Anita

Hi Peter:

I just felt it, or known it (the Source, the Ocean) while responding in James’s thread. There were no words to the knowing.

I just wrote “The Source”, “the Ocean”, but these are after-thoughts, interpreting, labeling.

The experience itself felt peaceful, quiet (more after- words, labeling), but the experience itself was free of words/ thoughts. there was indeed no “I” in it.

“You once wrote about looking up at the stars as a child, praying to be seen, only to feel silence as cruelty… The deepest truths: surrender, expansion, compassion are not taught. They are felt. They are transmitted in silence, in presence, in the way your heart opens to the suffering of others.”-

I had a phone conversation this morning (after reading your posts and before replying), and was told about someone’s breakup/ emotional pain, someone I care about very much. In the past, I’d feel great pain and sorrow. But this time, I didn’t sink into a swamp of sorrow. Not yet, anyway.

Strange, in opening my heart to suffering (“your heart opens to the suffering of others”), rather than closing it, I stay above water. I don’t suffer.

Resisting, contracting, isolating, trying to be absent.. all these (at least long-term) cause suffering. Healing is in accepting, expanding, connecting (to Source and to others).

“We teach by being. We reach by opening. All we can really do is try.”- you are my teacher, Peter 🙏

“’The Thread and the Flame’ — A Dialogue… Seeker: I have seen something. Not with these eyes, but with the heart. It came like a flame in the dark. I want to share it. I must.

“Bodhisattva: Then speak, dear one. But speak as one who offers a thread, not a net… Words are threads. They can guide, but they cannot bind the truth. When we weave them too tightly, they become a net catching minds, but not freeing them.”-

Yes, that’s me contracting, words/ analyses not freeing me, but binding me, keeping me trapped.

“Bodhisattva… the flame you saw cannot be carried in your hands. You may point to it, but you cannot place it in another’s heart.”- perfectly said says my labeling mind.

“Bodhisattva: Teaching is a gesture, not a command. A whisper, not a shout. The Dharma itself warns us: even the teachings are rafts. Useful to cross the river, but not to be carried once the shore is reached.

“Seeker: So I should not speak?

“Bodhisattva: Speak. But speak with humility. Let your words be invitations, not instructions. Let your lessons be lanterns, not cages.

“Seeker: I see. I must share the path, not the destination.

“Bodhisattva: Yes. And even the path may look different beneath another’s feet.

“Finder: Thank you. I will speak, but I will listen more. I will teach, but I will not cling.

“Bodhisattva: Then you are already teaching”-

I want to meditate on this, so perfectly said, with skill and talent, Peter.

To listen, to be present with another, to not cling to desired results (destination), to walk the path along with another, humbly – that is teaching..

🤍 Anita

Hello Kyle, Miss L Dutchess, Everyone:

Thank you for answering me, Kyle!

You were clear (in my mind) except for this one sentence. So, forgiveness means to no longer entertain long- term, or chronic anger over what happened, and so, to no longer experience the physical, mental and spiritual effects of chronic anger. That’s clear to me.

And indeed, I read that multiple medical studies have shown that long-term anger can negatively affect physical health — especially the heart, blood vessels, digestion, sleep, and immune system.

* A 2024 NIH study found that even brief anger episodes impair blood vessel dilation, which can contribute to long-term cardiovascular damage.

Long-term anger keeps the body in a heightened stress state, leading to chronically elevated cortisol levels. This can result in fatigue, poor emotional regulation, and increased impulsivity, as well as weakened immune function.

Anger disrupts the autonomic nervous system, which regulates digestion. Chronic stress and anger are linked to IBS, IBD, GERD, and other gastrointestinal issues.

People with high anger levels often experience sleep disturbances, including difficulty falling or staying asleep.

Anger is associated with worse symptoms in anxiety and depression, and can impair concentration and emotional resilience.

I continue to read that Healthy Anger is temporary, fades after resolution, is triggered by a specific event or injustice, is expressed through assertive, respectful communication, its purpose is to motivates change or boundary-setting, and in regard to its impact, it can strengthen relationships.

On the other hand, Chronic Anger is persistent, lingers for hours or days, is often triggered by minor issues, is expressed explosively, passive-aggressively, or it’s bottled, it reinforces resentment or emotional tension, and damages health and relationships.

Thank you, Kyle. I hope to read more from you, here, or elsewhere 🙂

🤍 Anita