Dear Suzanne:

I’m so sorry to hear about your brother’s diagnosis. I understand that treatments at this stage of the disease are typically palliative—focused on relieving symptoms and improving quality of life, rather than curing the illness. I truly hope he’s receiving the best care possible.

And please know: there’s nothing self-centered about grief—especially the kind that strikes deep in the gut and keeps returning in waves. That kind of news is seismic, and the heartbreak you’re feeling is profoundly human.

I hear so much love and loyalty in what you wrote. You’re showing up for your brother, despite past wounds, and that speaks volumes about your heart. The way you’re still caring for others—even in 100-degree heat, walking dogs and keeping them safe—that’s resilience in motion.

You’re not just coping—you’re moving through pain with quiet determination. You’re showing up for your brother. You’re tending to the dogs. You’re managing life alone in a house that feels heavy with memory. Despite her grief, fear, and the sense of being abandoned, you’re still choosing to show up with compassion for others.

Your care for your brother’s peace—whether or not he holds spiritual beliefs—is deeply tender. Just your steady presence can offer comfort, no beliefs required. Love reaches beyond those lines.

You are not broken, Sue. You are a woman standing in a storm, doing her best to love and hold steady. And I see that.

I also wanted to remind you of our conversation on May 11, about Radical Acceptance:

“Radical Acceptance is about accepting reality AS IS—without resistance… It’s a life philosophy that aims to reduce suffering by embracing life’s challenges without trying to change or deny them… By accepting the reality of a situation, you eliminate your internal struggle against it. This reduction in inner conflict can significantly decrease stress and anxiety… Implementing Radical Acceptance in your daily life is like giving yourself a gift – the gift of peace amidst the chaos.”

Still worth repeating, I think.

And also, the Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; > the courage to change the things I can, > and the wisdom to know the difference.”-

This prayer holds meaning even without “God.” I imagine your brother might hear its spirit, if not its exact words.

Take gentle care of yourself, Suzanne. I’m thinking of you and sending warmth your way.

With heart, Anita

Hi Emma, just thinking of you and hoping you’re doing okay. No pressure to reply—just wanted to say hi and send a little care your way.

Anita

How are you, Lunar?

Anita

Thinking about you, Suzanne, hoping you are well. 🍓

Anita

Dear Tommy:

I understand.

Kindness can feel uncomfortable. Softness can feel risky. It can feel safer to carry guilt, regrets, and pressure inside—and to believe that you’ve done wrong and should forever suffer—because at least then, the pain makes sense. It doesn’t come from nowhere… it’s deserved.

I get it. You’re not wrong for needing that.

But if you ever want a quiet place to rest—no judgment, no sweetness overload—just a place to breathe and be soft, if only for a moment… that space still exists. No expectations. Just understanding.

Wishing you steadiness on your path,

—Anita

Dear Emma:

Thank you for your lovely messages—and for saying I looked beautiful in the photo! That means so much. You really do glow in yours, and I’m so glad my compliment landed well.

You asked how I knew that taking up space—both physically and emotionally—has been a struggle for you. I sensed it in the way you talked about yourself with Philip. You wrote things like, “I felt too plump, too manly, too much… I always thought women had to be dainty.”- Those words carry a deep belief that being fully yourself—your size, your feelings, your presence—might somehow be too much. And your height adds another layer, because it makes you visible, even when you don’t want to be. That’s not easy when part of you just wants to stay small, stay safe.

You also wrote, “I still wonder what would have been the biggest thing why he does not want me anymore.”- I think you’re probably right that the back-and-forth might have made it hard for him to feel emotionally steady. It likely became hard for him to trust the ground under his feet. That doesn’t mean your feelings weren’t valid—it just means both of you were carrying your own fears, and maybe he reached a point where he didn’t know how to keep holding on. And yes, if something were to change, it would have to come from him now.

As for what I do—I do work, but not for money. I volunteer on a farm where I help care for apple and pear trees, and I do my best to keep blackberry vines from taking over! There’s also a small community space at the farm where people gather to dance, listen to live music, and just be together. I help set up those events—and the photo you saw was taken during one of those dances last year. I was dancing indoors to a rock band, and I’m looking forward to dancing to the same band again this Saturday—this time outside, under the open sky.

Wishing you a peaceful day, Emma. You’re not too much—you’re just wonderfully and fully here. I’m glad we’re in touch.

With care, Anita