Asked again, how are you, Mina 😊

anita

I wonder if by any kind of miracle, you will be reading this, noname, and reply to me..?

anita

Dear Lucidity:

Thank you for your kind words and for being so thoughtful, perceptive, and compassionate. Engaging in meaningful dialogue with someone as introspective and insightful as you is truly a gift.

You didn’t hijack the thread—you addressed the original poster on March 31, and I responded on the same day as well. She may not be aware of the recent activity, but she’s still welcome to return, start a new thread, or join other conversations. Since this is a public forum, everyone is welcome to contribute to any discussion unless the original poster requests otherwise.

Your insight—”Sidelining the pain that your sister caused you is to minimize yourself as a person and your own self-respect”—is profound.

Reflecting on what you shared:

“Something you both have said that has made me re-evaluate things is that you each don’t necessarily want a deep relationship with your sister. I may have to re-think my situation and learn to accept the superficial nature of the contact I had with my sister. It feels that holding onto it hurts me but letting it go does too. It sounds like I have some deeper issues in myself that I need to level with. Now I just have to figure out what they could be :o) Any advice on that most welcome.”-

You’ve been holding onto the hope of a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your sister—something beyond the surface-level interactions you’ve had. Now, you’re beginning to consider that your relationship may never be as deep as you once wished. However, this realization is painful—holding onto that hope hurts, but letting it go hurts too.

In exploring what it is that you’re truly holding onto—beyond a close relationship with your sister—I looked back at what you shared on March 31 and since:

“Because of how we were raised, my sister and I have never been close (troubled household due to problematic parents).”-

You referred to your parents as problematic and enclosed them in parentheses, as though their influence has been identified and resolved—a closed chapter. But you continue to focus on your sister. Is it possible that an unresolved longing for closeness with your parents has been projected onto her? That the emotional need that wasn’t fulfilled by them still lingers, now transferred into an effort to connect with her?

“I want more instant, open dialogue with my sister, more connection… it feels one-sided on the few occasions when we have managed to talk… I won’t go into self-betrayal and explain to her yet again why our relationship is important to me… I know she can’t meet me there, but I don’t think she can manage to meet me anywhere.”-

This made me think about the many times you may have tried to get your parents to meet you where you were—seeking emotional connection and understanding that wasn’t given.

“My sister and I were strangers even while at home… My sister had the support I craved for.”-

She was given the love and support you longed for from your parents, and maybe, in some way, you’ve hoped to receive that love through her. Since their love was in her, perhaps, on some level, you seek it from her.

It’s possible that your need for parental warmth, validation, and connection never truly faded—it wasn’t fully enclosed in parentheses, so to speak. Instead, it may have been redirected toward a more accessible figure who once embodied that love: Parental Love by Proxy of a Sister..?

anita

Dear Alessa:

Happy Easter to you too! 🐣🐇

Thank you for your kind words—I truly appreciate our conversations as well. And no need to apologize; it sounds like you’ve been incredibly busy with your studies. Group projects can be demanding, but I hope you find some rewarding moments in them.

Parenting without a natural instinct is an immense challenge, but the way you’ve approached it—with research, patience, and determination—shows just how much love you bring to it. Seeing your son develop self-care strategies, learning to navigate emotions, and even finding comfort through books—it’s beautiful. His ability to remove himself from situations that upset him is an incredible milestone, and it speaks volumes about the guidance and security you’ve provided for him. ❤️

And no need to ask for forgiveness—your words are never rambling. They are insightful, meaningful, and always worth reading.

Wishing you a peaceful and fulfilling Easter weekend. 💛

anita