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How Tonglen Practice Healed My Pain After Trauma

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“Tonglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. In this process
we begin to feel love for both ourselves and others; we begin to take care of ourselves and others. Tonglen awakens our compassion and introduces us to a far bigger view of reality.” ~Pema Chodron

It was challenging to focus during the summer months, with my six-year-old son at home more than usual. I had tons of ideas to write about, but my creative energies were exhausted from hours of playing. When the school year started, I finally sat down to write. The words took their own …

How I’ve Learned to Stop Running from Things That Scare Me

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“The beautiful thing about fear is when you run to it, it runs away.” ~Robin Sharma

At the age of eighteen, I started running. It was a rainy night, and to get home quicker from the gym, I began to run. As I approached a park about a mile from my house, I decided to run around it rather than going straight home.

It wasn’t a conscious decision but felt natural and necessary.

The rain had gotten a bit heavier, but I wasn’t worried. All I could focus on was the lack of internal heaviness as I ran. That lack …

3 Things I Learned About Healing from an Autoimmune Diagnosis

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“To truly heal, we need to create a healing space—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.” ~Lynn Keegan

Growing up, I never understood the importance of taking care of myself. I thought my body was invincible, and I treated it quite poorly. I stayed up late, I ate out a lot, I partied, and didn’t have a care in the world.

In my early twenties this all began to shift for me. I began experiencing all types of symptoms. My body was doing things I was embarrassed to share with anyone.

I started having eight to ten bowel movements per day, I was …

How I Found the Courage to Leave My Unfulfilling Job

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“‘What if I fall?’ Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” –Erin Hanson

Have you ever considered how much you’d be willing to tolerate before feeling forced to leave a workplace?

In this economy, people wonder whether leaving their jobs to preserve their mental and physical health without another lined up is worth it if it means financial insecurity. So many people feel stuck in their jobs, and I was no exception.

I told myself any money was better than no money, so I stayed with a job that made me miserable.

After spending several years with the company, …

How Trauma Affects the Brain and How I’m Healing from PTSD

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“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” ~BrenĂ© Brown 

Several months ago, I was stoked about writing a piece on the living legacy of trauma, sharing how much we think we know about these so-called injuries of the mind, body, and spirit when, in reality, we know diddly squat.

I thought that a piece on this topic would inform and help folks like me. I’d suffered long and hard from PTSD, triggered initially by the sudden death of my brother and, simultaneously, the unfortunate finding of an email that confirmed

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Available Now: Tiny Buddha Shirts and Posters

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Hi friends! Since I’ve received numerous requests to bring back the ​Tiny Buddha shirts​, I’ve decided to make them available again, right in time for the holiday season!

You can choose from six shirt designs, in multiple colors, in a T-shirt, hoodie, or sweatshirt. Here are my favorites:

I’m planning to add a few new shirt designs next week, so stay tuned for an update then!

I’ve also added three (unframed) quote posters to the store.

To grab a shirt for yourself or a loved one, ​visit the store here​.

Please note these …

The Beautiful Life I Didn’t Plan For: On Raising a Special Needs Child

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“I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.” ~Unknown

As far back as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mom. I held onto the belief that my life wouldn’t feel truly “complete” until I had children.

This dream finally came true in 2010 when I was twenty-seven years old, when my son, Logan Patrick Arnold, entered the world. The moment I laid eyes on him, I sensed something was different about him. And though it might not sound flattering, he looked more like a middle-aged man than a Gerber baby.

Upon …

How I Am Learning to Trust My Body More and Control It Less

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“I’m a beautiful mess of contradiction, a chaotic display of imperfection.” ~Sai Marie Johnson

I don’t identify as having an eating disorder. I don’t struggle with anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating.  Yet I exercise precise control of my weight, down to the pound. If I gain a mere two pounds, I can feel it. First in my stomach. Then in my face.

That’s when the self-loathing kicks in.

I beat myself up for gaining those two pounds.

I wear a shirt to sleep at night, instead of being naked like I am when I am two pounds lighter.

I …

The Secret to Finding Yourself Again: How to Come Alive

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“‘Finding yourself’ is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.” ~Emily McDowell

Somewhere between becoming a parent, a wife, and a career woman, I began to lose myself.

I wouldn’t say it happened all at once or as the result of any one thing. Instead, it was a gradual process of disappearing under layers and layers of masks I had to wear in order to play the role of the person others needed me to be.

The caretaker.
The rescuer.
The helper.
The teacher.
The nurturer.…

Take Good Care of Yourself When You Do Well AND When You Fall Short

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“Kindness is choosing love over hate, light over darkness, compassion over judgment.” ~Raktivist

One of the things about being “good” (and for me that includes things like patience, kindness, and being agreeable) is that people assume things about me. They think I’m always patient, I always make the right decisions, and I’m an all-around great person.

Well, I’m not always anything—except human. And that means I make mistakes, big ones even. This week I did NOT set an example of perfection. I had a moment when I became the exact opposite: loud and emotional. I melted down.

Why did this …

How I Finally Starved the Disorder That Was Eating Me Alive

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“If we are ready to tear down the walls that confine us, break the cage that imprisons us, we will discover what our wings are for.” ~Michael Meegan

It’s weird, isn’t it? One day you’re playing hide and seek with friends without a worry beyond the playdate you’re having or dinner options for that night. But in a blink, those carefree days vanish. That’s what happened to me, and my teenage years started ticking away right in front of my eyes. Eleven, thirteen, fifteen, seventeen, nineteen…

And a realization hit me: “It’s still eating me alive.”

Maybe it wasn’t …

How I Healed My Strained Relationship with My Addict Mother

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“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~Sam Keen

Like so many of us, my relationship with my mother throughout my life is best described as complicated.

We’ve had our fair share of turbulent times in our journey, and her alcoholism and drug abuse while I was growing up fueled great dysfunction on every level: literal physical fighting when I was a teenager (yep, Jerry Springer-style), seemingly continual acts of rebellion, a total lack of understanding, deep mistrust, unwillingness (or likely even an inability at the time) to …

Why True Happiness Is Not Just About Reaching Your Goals

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“Success isn’t about how your life looks to others. It’s about how it feels to you.” ~Michelle Obama

Do you have goals? Why do you have these goals? What will change if you accomplish them?

Will you be happy?

Think about this for a second: You’ve already achieved goals that you said would make you happy.

Pause.

Think about that again.

You’ve already achieved goals that you said would make you happy.

Well, that’s a humbling reality check, isn’t it? So why aren’t you experiencing everlasting happiness and satisfaction?

No matter the goal’s size, the reward level, or the …

How I Found My “Why” in Life After Struggling for Years

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“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” ~Gautama Buddha

Each time I start a new course, training, or venture, the teacher or leader asks me “why?” “Why are you here?” “Why are you taking this course?” “What’s your ‘why’?” “What’s your purpose?”

And I’m never prepared.

You’d think by now, after all the years of working on myself and studying, I would have an answer on the tip of my tongue.

Yet, I find “why” to be a difficult question to answer.

I have wondered, “Do I really not …

Feeling Pressured to Follow the Crowd and Become Someone You’re Not?

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In a world that pressures us to conform and toe the line, it can be hard to live a fulfilling, authentic life.

We can easily spend years trying to be someone or something we’re not—checking off all the right boxes, meeting everyone’s expectations—all in a bid to gain approval from society, our peers, our parents, and even ourselves.

But this comes at a steep cost to our well-being. Not only do we lose ourselves and slowly disconnect from everything that brings us joy and meaning, but we can also end up hating ourselves for struggling to measure up
 when ironically, …

When It’s Time to Let People Go: How I’ve Lightened My Emotional Load

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“Love yourself enough to let go of the people, thoughts, and habits that are weighing you down.” ~Karen Salmansohn

More than a year ago I started unpacking and cleaning out my ‘backpack’ of life in a different way.

I have always tried to remain friends with exes, and even though we didn’t necessarily socialize together, there was still the odd keeping in touch, helping them with a favor, or “Happy Birthday” text.

While most of them are generally nice people, the truth is that if I never dated them, I probably wouldn’t be friends with them now. We’re just on …

7 Steps to Deconstruct Your Anger So It No Longer Controls You

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“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~Buddha

For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with anger.

My earliest memories of my anger are from junior high school, but it was around much earlier than that.

The only emotion that was ever shown in my house growing up was anger. My dad had an anger problem, and my mother showed no emotion at all. This is what emotional normal looked like to me—either nothing or anger.

I was the …

Why It’s Hard to Hold a Boundary and How to Make It Easier

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“The only real conflict you will ever have in your life won’t be with others, but with yourself.”  ~Shannon Adler

I sat in my chemistry class during my junior year of high school staring at the periodic table and wondering if I was going to make it through. Bored and lost, I struggled to find value in the class or make sense of why I was there. It felt purposeless.

Until I met Kevin.

Kevin sat a few seats away from me and was a senior. I knew of him, but I had never really noticed or paid attention to …

How I Created My Own Roadmap for Happiness When I Was Feeling Lost in Life

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“Doing what you like is freedom, liking what you do is happiness.” ~Frank Tyger

Life is a web of uncertainty, where we often believe we are on the right path, only to realize we’ve been wandering down the wrong road all along. Ever been there? Thinking you have your whole life planned out? Deciding to go after the things that you think will make you happy, only to end up disappointed on the other side? If so, I completely understand how you feel.

There’s no definitive map leading to a happy or fulfilled life. There is no right or wrong …

How I’m Learning to Feel Confident Without Approval

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“Children need to feel seen. Adults do, too.” ~Unknown

As a teenager, I played the flute for about nine years. I never practiced—apart from that guilt-ridden last half hour prior to my weekly lessons. It was important for my parents that their children learned a musical instrument, and so I was given the flute, while my brother played the clarinet (bizarrely, because our grandmother had wanted someone to play Mozart’s clarinet concerto at her funeral).

Truth be told, I think my brother would have much rather learned the guitar, while I was very envious of his clarinet (he got around …