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How I Overcame Self-Hatred and 6 Ways to Love Yourself

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Sharon Salzberg

When was the last time you looked at your reflection and extended love to yourself? Before I discovered the life-changing power of self-love, I had not extended love to myself for years. This is the story of how I transformed my self-hatred into self-love, how it changed my life, and several tips to practice in your life.

For a long time, I believed self-love was something to be avoided at all costs. Like many, I had become habituated to the “hustle and …

Why I Sense Threats Everywhere and Panic All the Time

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“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” ~Bessel A. van der Kolk

I have a prescription for Lorazepam.

After coming home from picking up my first ever bottle from the pharmacy several years ago, I threw the bottle at the wall and cried.

I used …

How a Rescue Dog Helped Heal My Lonely, Longing Heart

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“Maybe it’s time for the fighter to be fought for, the holder to be held, and the lover to be loved.” ~Unknown

There’s this cheesy saying I heard once—“Dog, when spelled backwards, is god.” As a companion to my dog, I can honestly say this is truer than you might ever imagine it to be.

There is something special about dogs or perhaps animals in general. They are not plugged into the matrix of human dramas and suffering the way we are entrenched in it. And because they are out of that cycle, in a way, they become our bodhisattvas.…

How to Draw Your Way to a Life You’ll Love

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“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” ~Albert Einstein

We all know the basic script we are encouraged to follow in life—work hard at school, then go to university or get a good job. Conform and fit in and everything will be fine.

I did well at the first part; however, by my early twenties, the “everything will be fine” bit wasn’t happening for me. Far from it. I had been prepared for a “basic script” life, but I wasn’t happy by any means, and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

When I left school in the UK, before going …

Think You Need to Prove Your Worth? A Simple Exercise That Might Help

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“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou

A few years ago, I operated on the belief that my worth was tied to what I could offer others. If I couldn’t assist with job opportunities, provide transportation, or support someone in some way, I didn’t see the point of forming a connection.

This mindset stemmed from a period in my life when I was married to someone battling drug addiction. He often remarked, “Without you, I’d probably be in jail or dead,” and deep down, I knew it was true. It was a perfect match, …

10 Reasons and Helpful Tips to Make It a Dry December

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“The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself.” ~Wallace Wattles

In all my years of drinking, I never thought I’d hear myself suggesting a Dry December. Nor could I have predicted that the month I’d eventually decide to embrace my sober curiosity would be the holiday month.

Before I decided to give an alcohol-free lifestyle a chance, I had completed many Dry Januarys, occasional Sober Octobers, and even one Dry July. (Dry July was the hardest for me because I really felt like I was alone in trying to …

Giveaway: Win a 2024 Day-to-Day Calendar, Gratitude Journal, and More!

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UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. The winners, chosen at random, are:

Please send your mailing address to me at email@tinybuddha.com so I can mail you your books and calendars!

Hi friends! To celebrate the holiday season, I’m running a special giveaway today. Two people (US only) will win a bundle including Tiny Buddha’s 2024 Day-to-Cay Calendar, Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal, and Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself.

Uplifting and healing, this calendar offers daily reflections from me, Tiny Buddha contributors, and other authors whose quotes have inspired and encouraged …

How Your Worst Days Can Shape Your Best Self

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“It is often those moments you feel least connected that you are actually making your greatest progress. The chaos around you is an invitation to pause, reflect, and grow. You are more than equipped to deal with this. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here.” ~Benjamin P Hardy

It’s 1 a.m., and the silence is broken by a cough that can only be described as sounding like someone who has smoked two packs daily for the last thirty years. There’s no way to predict when I’ll be woken again, but if the past week is any indication, this won’t be …

How I’ve Learned to Love My Inner Weirdo

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“I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable, beautiful and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings.” ~Mary Oliver

 I was a beautiful, wild, and exhilarating kid. I marched to the beat of my unicorn drum and, to the confusion of adults, I did not fit into the typical boxes they had been anticipating.

This little kid was ready to thrive!

The freedom did not last long. My zest for life and unicorn drum beat quickly symbolized my weirdness. Adults tilted their heads in perplexity …

Always Exhausted? Native Wisdom to Restore Your Energy

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post references sexual assault and may be triggering to some people.

“Spirit carved by Nature
Here I am.
Slowly ascending
toward my own profundity.”
~Elicura Chihuailaf

That exhaustion you feel when your body is fighting something, the feeling of being completely drained to the point where you can barely move your body…. that’s how I felt when I was living with trauma.

Over the years it had piled up inside of me—the sexual assault I survived one night after I’d just turned twenty, the physical and emotional abuse that went on almost daily when I lived with …

10 Unique Lessons from Across the Globe for a Meaningful Life

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“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” ~W.B. Yeats

For a few years of my life, I was lucky enough to have a semi-nomadic lifestyle. A lot of my stuff fit in a backpack, and it was a great joy to move around different regions of the world and have rich conversations with people. One of the most enchanting aspects of my years spent backpacking was the discovery of these magical practices that resonate deeply across cultures.

I started a precious collection of these soul-deep lessons from the various landscapes I passed …

The Simple, Old-School Acts of Kindness Our World Badly Needs

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“Whatever is in memory is also in soul.” ~Saint Augustine, Confessions

Memories of my father are etched deeply in me—not for what he accomplished as a surgeon, a pilot, and an outdoorsman, but for what he was about, a truly gentle and generous man. Ironically, one of the most important lessons I learned from and about him came from a stranger.

I was alone in my family’s large Victorian-style house in the heart of the Midwest on a muggy Saturday afternoon. My mother had taken my siblings to a summer reading program at the public library, and my dad had …

Slow Living: A Simple but Powerful Form of Healing

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“In an age of speed, I began to think, nothing could be more invigorating than going slow. In an age of distraction, nothing can feel more luxurious than paying attention.” ~Pico Iyer

On a college orientation trip, at the age of eighteen, I hiked the 100-mile wilderness of the Appalachian Mountain Trail, and my trail name was “caboose.” Slow and steady from behind was where you’d find me. That was my way. I was typically the last to camp, but I could go all night when necessary.

That wasn’t my first experience being the slow one in a group. When …

Trapped in Shame: How I Found Mental Freedom After Prison

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“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

I was in two prisons.

One physical. One mental.

The physical version was Otisville Federal Prison.

I was living so out of alignment with who I was and who I wanted to become and self-sabotaged in a colossal way, defrauding one of the largest tech companies in the world.

My mental prison, my personal hell, was the all-consuming …

30 Ways to Be Kind: Simple Ways to Spread a Little Love

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Can you remember the last time someone was unexpectedly kind to you?

I’m guessing at least some of the people in your life are kind to you on a regular basis. Or at least I hope they are! But maybe their kindness feels commonplace because it’s made up of lots of little things that they do often
 like asking if you want a cup of coffee when they’re getting their own, or saying, “I love you” in that rote way we do before hanging up the phone.

Small gestures like this are always valuable and worth appreciating and acknowledging. But …

How I’ve Been Shaking Out My Pain Since Losing My Daughter

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“Movement has incredible healing power.” ~Alexandra Heather Foss

My ten-year-old daughter, who had been ill for all her life, was dying. She was hooked up to tubes and monitors, and they were always going off. Her numbers were off the charts, and the doctors kept saying, “Your daughter’s numbers aren’t normal, and we would normally have a team coming in here to check on her breathing and to rouse her.”

After the last operation, one doctor said she was surprised that she was still alive when she came into work. We all were. She kept fighting. She would just be …

The Alchemy of a Broken Heart: How to Transform Your Pain into Purpose

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“Life changes. You lose love. You lose friends. You lose pieces of yourself that you never imagined would be gone. And then, without you even realizing it, these pieces come back. New love enters. Better friends come along. And a stronger, wiser you is staring back in the mirror.” ~Preetham Mohanty

One year ago, I quit my high-stress job. Then my husband quit me.

There had been signs of our unhappiness in the six months prior, but I thought it was dissatisfaction with our work lives, not with our relationship. It was clear, though, that our dynamic had changed—we were …

Looking for a Meaningful Holiday Gift? These Stories Will Renew Your Faith in Humanity

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The holiday season can be joyful, stressful, difficult, or beautiful. It all depends on what you’re going through.

Regardless of your unique circumstances, I suspect you’ll feel a little lighter and brighter after reading ​HumanKind: Changing the World One Small Act at a Time​.

This national bestseller brought tears to my eyes. With uplifting stories of hope and kindness, it’s an antidote to all the negativity in the media and the world, and proof that small acts of kindness can have a ripple effect and transform thousands of lives.

It’s also a gift to mentoring organization Big …

6 Life Lessons from Working with Children Facing Life-Threatening Illnesses

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“There is beauty to be found in the pain. Life is brutal, but it’s also beautiful. Life is Brutiful.” ~Glennon Doyle

For four years, I had the honor and privilege of working with children and families in a hospital setting, with most of my time spent in the hematology/oncology department.

My role as a certified child life specialist was to help prevent and alleviate the stress and trauma of the hospital experience utilizing developmentally appropriate preparation, education, and play. Or at least that’s the “elevator pitch” I would provide during small talk and to casual acquaintances at parties.

The truth …

A People-Pleaser’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Life: 6 Ways to Say No

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“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

Have you ever found yourself stuck in the “yes” trap, even when your gut screamed “no”?

I have.

We people-pleasers struggle with boundary crushers, and there are a lot of them out there continuously knocking over the barriers we put up!

But here is a secret I have learned: I’m allowed to say “no” without drowning in guilt. In fact, it’s a vital part of my self-care journey to give myself permission to freely say “no.”

Empowerment of “NO”

Saying “no” …