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How to Break Painful Relationship Patterns

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“Until you heal your past, your life patterns and relationships will continue to be the same; it’s just the faces that change.” ~Unknown

First of all: honey, you are not broken. We are all works in process. There is nothing inherently wrong with you. We all end up in a loop here and there. Sometimes it’s because we haven’t healed pain from the past. And sometimes it’s because we’ve healed our pain but still hold on to past habits. When we do this, past habits will promote the replaying of past events and, therefore, the pain will return.

This …

What I Believe and Why My Life Is Better Because of It

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“Seeing is not believing; believing is seeing! You see things, not as they are, but as you are.” ~Eric Butterworth

I didn’t always understand this, but I now know that my beliefs shape my experience of the world.

As I learned from Tony Robbins, our beliefs guide our choices, which ultimately create our results.

Our beliefs can either be a prison, keeping us trapped in negative thinking and behaviors, or they can be empowering and lead to courageous action and new possibilities.

For example, if you believe people are fundamentally bad, you may live life guarded, close yourself off to …

To Do What You Really Want to Do, You Need to Befriend your Inner Critic

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“Our ‘inside critics’ have intimate knowledge of us and can zero in on our weakest spots.” ~SARK

We live in a world that often glorifies the power of positive thinking and affirmations.

Don’t get me wrong, affirmations can be a powerful tool to help us acknowledge our self-worth. We need to learn to look for the positive and to be grateful for all the beautiful things in our lives if we want to be happy. Befriending your inner critic may seem to be in contradiction to these goals.

A couple of years ago I began to pursue the creative life…

7 Ways to Know If Your Sacrifices Are Worth It

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“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Have you ever looked at the path you’ve chosen and questioned if your sacrifices have been worth it? If you’ve prioritized the “right” things, pursued worthy goals, and ultimately, made “good” choices?

Have you ever wondered if you’ll one day look back on your life and regret not only what you did, but also what you didn’t do, because maybe you’ll feel you wasted your time or somehow missed out on something important?

If you answered no to these questions, you’re my new hero. …

How to Stop Punishing Yourself for Your Breakup

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“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ~Pema Chodron

After you come out a meaningful relationship that you didn’t foresee ending, you begin to think about everything you did wrong.

If you were not the one who wanted to the breakup, you may spend a lot of time blaming yourself and wondering about what you could have done differently.

You might begin to believe you’re solely responsible for what went down and that you deserve to spend years in relationship purgatory by yourself, mourning the loss of the person you loved.

You …

When You Can’t Take Away Their Pain: Just Being There Is Enough

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“Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all else feels hopeless.” ~Dave G. Llewellyn

Parents, if I were to ask you what your worst nightmare is, what would you say?

I daresay it probably falls somewhere under the category of “safety and health,” and the negative version thereof.

Death. Illness. Suffering.

It could largely summed up as “to watch or know my child is suffering,” an extension of that being “… and to not be able to do anything to help or take it away.”

If you’re not a parent, I’m guessing you’re felt this same …

How I Lost 30 Pounds by Meditating (and All the Things I Gained)

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“Clear your mind. Your heart is trying to tell you something.” ~Unknown

I recently lost thirty-plus pounds without trying or intending to. I remember excitedly sharing this news on social media one day, after stepping on a scale in my hotel room and being shocked. I don’t own a scale, so between the time when I had last weighed myself and this day, I’d lost over thirty pounds without being conscious of it.

After my public announcement, people from all directions contacted me asking me questions. Everyone wanted to know how I did it and what could they do to …

A New Podcast for Creative People, From Tiny Buddha Productions

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Hi friends! Lori here. As you may know if you read my blog post from this Monday—How to Keep Going When You’re Not Good at Something New—I recently helped launch a new podcast called Next Creator Up.

Hosted by Ehren Prudhel, my partner in life and many things, this podcast means a lot to me personally, and of course, to Ehren as well.

First, a little about what this podcast is and who it’s for, and then I’ll elaborate on why we decided to co-produce this together.

What Next Creator Up Is All About

Next Creator Up…

What I Did to Survive: Not Proud but I Forgive Myself

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“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~Audrey Kitching

I used to suffer from survivor’s remorse.

What does this mean exactly? Well, I was ashamed of the things I did to survive.

As I reflected back on my life, I’d get filled with sadness, shame, and regret.

Sadness because I did things that were against my moral values when I knew right …

How to Be Like a Tree: Still, Strong, and Uniquely Beautiful

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“This oak tree and me, we’re made of the same stuff.” ~Carl Sagan

I was hugging trees long before it was cool.

Recent research suggests that spending time in nature can reduce your blood pressure, heart rate, and stress level, not to mention cut down your risk of type II diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and premature death.

But when I began hugging trees, it was an undeniably weird thing to do.

I risked the odd looks of strangers, however, because trees felt so calm and welcoming to me. When I wrapped my arms around their broad trunks, it felt like I …

How to Keep Going When You’re Not Good at Something New

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I believe the people who are the most satisfied in life are those who feel the most alive.

We generally feel most alive when we propel ourselves out of our comfort zone and seize new possibilities for meaning, excitement, and passion. But unfortunately, we’re wired to do what feels easy and safe, and it rarely feels easy or safe to be a beginner.

No one wants to feel like Bambi taking his first wobbly first steps—weak, inept, like he could fall over at any time.

And no one wants to feel as vulnerably exposed as Napoleon Dynamite during his awkward …

How Casual Dating Opened My Heart to Love

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“Hopping from one relationship to another is not the way to find love. Slow down and give love a chance to find you.” ~Unknown

When I was younger, I was a serial monogamist.

I did the math recently and it turns out that once I started dating, I didn’t spend more than two weeks single at any point.

Then, after the end of my most serious relationship ever, I had a moment that changed everything.

My boyfriend and I hadn’t even been together a whole year, but I really thought he was the one, my soul mate. We had so …

What My Parents Did to Me and Why I Cut Them Out of My Life

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I wrote this letter to my extended family years after I chose to become estranged from my parents because many of them cut me out of their lives instead of reaching out to hear my side of the story.

It pains me that I have lost contact with some of them because they refuse to see the full picture, and at times I feel as though I have lost a part of myself. Yet, at the same time, I am free.

The letter you are about to read comes from a place of acceptance and longing. I have chosen to …

Why I’m Done Standing on the Sidelines of Life

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“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done. Make at least one definite move daily toward your goal.” ~Bruce Lee

It’s easy to criticize others.

It’s easier to sit outside a situation than be in it.

Ironically, it’s easy to belittle someone else’s efforts without making any real effort ourselves.

The safe side of the ropes is an easier choice than committing to being in the ring, truly baring something. It’s also a softer option.

It’s much harder to have skin in the game.

It takes guts, and a healthy degree of get …

How to Accept That It’s Time to Break Up

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“Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.” ~Marilyn Monroe

I knew it was over and yet I stayed.

In my eyes, my relationship had run its course. I was fed up, tired, and emotionally drained, but I couldn’t get myself to pull the trigger. I didn’t know how to go through with it.

Because this was my first serious relationship, everything was new to me, including breaking up. He was my first love. We lived together, built a life together, and now I was throwing a wrench into all of our bright plans for the …

Blinded by Our Diet Culture? How to Stop Hating Your Body

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“Don’t change your body to get respect from society. Instead let’s change society to respect our bodies.” ~Golda Poretsky

Age thirteen—that was when my eating disorder kicked into full gear because our diet culture had its tentacles wrapped around me tightly. All I thought about all day was how I was going to control and restrict my food, then how I was going to burn it off.

I sought to burn off every calorie I ate. I couldn’t go to sleep at night unless I’d burned off most of what I’d consumed. I was obsessed with exercise and trying to …

How to Make Vulnerability Your New Superpower

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“Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” ~Leonard Cohen

We human beings are social creatures. For the most part, we like to be with people, and we want people to like to be with us. The trouble is that we get all tied up in trying to communicate a version of ourselves that we think people will find attractive.

We want to appear successful, interesting, in control—and a winner! To keep up this image we work hard to hide away the parts …

How a Creative Hobby Can Boost Your Mental Health

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“The world always seems brighter when you’ve just made something that wasn’t there before.” ~Neil Gaiman

A few years ago I wrote an article about my personal experience with bulimia. The piece was published by several different media channels, and some time afterward I was interviewed by CNN.

It was the first time I had publicly, and explicitly, spoken about that particular part of my journey. But the desire to acknowledge and address the emotional effects of my experience had been present for some time.

Prior to writing the article, I hadn’t felt ready to lay myself bare in …

How to Make Your Life Matter (Even If It Lacks Purpose and Direction)

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“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“Calm yourself down. It’s okay. All is well.”

I clung to the sterile white table while the laboratory was spinning around me.

“It’s just an anxiety attack. It will be over soon.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, forcing my lungs to expand against the tightness in my chest. Cold sweat trickled down my spine as I battled the all-consuming feelings of overwhelm, panic, and disappointment.

My …

How I’m Healing the Vulnerable, Rejected Kid Inside Me

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“In case no one told you today:
 You’re beautiful. You’re loved. You’re needed. You’re alive for a reason. 
You’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. 
I’m glad you’re alive. Don’t give up.” ~Unknown

I was fourteen years old and it was a holiday of firsts: my first holiday away from my family with my school and my first holiday abroad, where I had my first real crush.

For the two weeks I was away, I was caught up in a flirtation with a boy from one of the other schools. I had to pinch myself when …