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How to Enjoy Social Media and Stop Comparing Your Life to Others

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“You never know what someone is going through. Be kind, always.” ~Unknown

A few months back I was at the park and passed a family taking what looked like holiday photos.

The mom’s hair was perfectly coifed, dad was nicely shaven and looking quite dapper, and four kids stood smiling between them—all wearing matching khaki and surprisingly clean white shirts.

I watched the khaki family out of the corner of my eye as I pushed a stroller along the gravel trail, thinking of what their holiday post might say as my baby yodeled her displeasure at facing the sun.

“Kayden …

I Am a Survivor, Not a Victim, and I’m Grateful for My Pain

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Emotional pain cannot kill you but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let your yourself heal.” ~Vironika Tugaleva

I was nine years old, sitting on the couch with my dad, watching a Very Brady Christmas (on my sister’s birthday, December 20th) when he first molested me. Terror, confusion, disbelief, and shame comingled to create a cocktail that would poison me for many years to come.

We grew up in a family that, from the outside, seemed …

How Are You Trading Your Time, Energy and Life?

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“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” ~Henry David Thoreau

We all make trades in life.

We trade our time. We trade our energy. We trade our hard-earned money. We trade our attention.

Many of us move through life in constant motion, never stopping to reflect on where that motion is taking us. If it’s helping or hindering us. If the trades we are making daily are letting us live our best lives. If the trades are giving us more quality time with those we care about most. If we can turn up for …

How to Be Your Own Best Friend When You’re Grieving

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“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” ~Kristen Neff

Your best friend just lost her husband and her mother within five days of one another. Her husband was terminally ill. Her mother was eighty-six. You don’t know how she is going to get through this. You know that she was assuming that after her husband died, she would console herself by spending time with her mother. But that is not how it is going to work out.

Your best …

How to Welcome Uncertainty into Your Life and Release Your Worry

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“Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth.” ~Celestine Chua

Uncertainty can be the glue for anxiety if you allow it. One thing can snowball into another and soon you are looking at the road ahead, absolutely dumbfounded about which way to go. It shakes us to our core; it disrupts our security, our stable foundation and makes us feel unsettled, even a bit lost.

But can our lives change without uncertainty?

I don’t believe they can.

Two years ago, I found myself wondering: Is this all there is? The road I’ve been on is where I’ll stay; no …

How I Stopped Obsessing About the Wrong Things to Stay Healthy

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“To change your life, you need to change your priorities.” ~Mark Twain

Every year, come December, I used to obsess about air pollution. This was the time when my husband and I would take our young daughter to Poland, the country of my birth, to spend Christmas with the extended family. There my anxieties would hit the roof.

Once the heating season kicks off, and the coal starts to burn in home furnaces, Polish air becomes unbreathable. The particle pollution may exceed norms by as much as 3000%. Some days you can actually feel the air burning the back of …

How I Found the Secret to Happiness in the Jungle

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“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

I’d like to bring it one step further and say, “Happiness is when what you feel, what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

Some people may argue that there is no need to add in “what you feel,” but I think there is. There is a difference between feeling and thinking.

For example, I thought I wanted to be a travel writer, I said I was going to be a travel writer, and I did …

Free Online Summit to Cultivate Mindfulness & Loving-Kindness

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There’s no denying we’re living in stressful times, marked by uncertainty and suffering for many. We’ve all been through a lot this year. We were physically disconnected for months, and now many of us feel more divided than ever—politically, economically, and ideologically.

Many of us are grappling with grief, stress, and anxiety, while others are succumbing to fear, anger, and hatred—which only create more fear, anger, and hatred. We all need to collectively find a better way to live, starting within and then extending without, to the world around us.

How can we skillfully work with difficult feelings and learn …

How To Set Boundaries With Your Racist Relatives

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As the Black Lives Matter movement gains traction across the nation and the world, many of us are being called to use the skills we’ve learned to improve ourselves⁠—such as speaking our truth, setting boundaries, and breaking the people-pleasing pattern⁠—to improve our communities, our countries, and our world.

Those of us who are allies are conveniently positioned to have conversations about racial justice with our family members, friends, and coworkers. However, historically, many of us have balked at these conversations out of fear of our own awkwardness, others’ anger, or the possibility of creating rifts in relationships.

In …

What Helps Me When I Feel Down About My Chronic Illness

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“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

A few months back, before the pandemic upended life for all of us, I went through one of those times when I could do nothing but sit at home and rest for my health’s sake.

I’d recently had another one of my surgeries; I was born with a genetic condition called vascular malformation, which grew and spread quite rapidly on my left cheek and into the mouth during my childhood. It’s the reason I’ve been paying visits to operation theaters for all …

How to Break Free from Your Inhibition and Start Living Life

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“You are very powerful provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

For most of my life, I felt that life was happening to everyone else and I just got to watch.

Someone else’s parents came to see their high school graduation and celebrated with them. I walked home alone.

Other people went to their own university graduation. I didn’t even bother turning up and had my certificate sent to me.

Other people dated and experienced what it’s like to spend their time with a variety of people in an attempt to find out who suits them and who …

How to Be Grateful When It Seems Like Nothing Is Going Right

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“You can’t be fearful and grateful simultaneously.” ~Tony Robbins

It may be challenging to step into a state of gratitude during a time of tumult and fear. But now, more than ever, we need to practice grace. The practice of gratitude can lift us out from under the heavy weight of our unsavory thoughts and feelings and move us into the direction of loving-kindness.

My Personal Experience with Adversity

I have faced difficult moments in my life. One such time was when I had cervical cancer a few years ago. I remember going through a number of emotions. But when …

How to Survive a Breakup with an Addict and Heal Your Heart

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“The positive cannot exist without the negative.” ~Alan Watts

My heart was empty. It had never felt that empty before. Sometimes I felt a gap gnawing at my chest making everything around me feel like half of a whole. I felt like a piece of me had died.

I painted my childhood bedroom grey that summer, picking out the color carefully after taping paint samples on the wall and pondering them for hours.

The old color gave me a headache; it glowed neon green and looked dirty now from years of feet on the walls. Hidden above the moldings, I …

How to Open Your Eyes and Make the Most of Life

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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ~Marcel Proust

I was asleep for the first thirty-two years of my life. I was jolted awake when my daughter was born unable to sustain her own breath.

I sat beside her in the NICU helplessly every day for three months, unable to hold or feed her due to her fragility. I watched as she endured two surgeries before six weeks of age.

She was diagnosed with a rare muscular disease that required significant medical intervention and around-the-clock nursing care. In those first few …

How to Meditate Like a Buddhist: Book Giveaway

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The winners have been chosen! If you see your name below, please send your address to email@tinybuddha.com so I can get a copy out to you!

I’ve often wished I found meditation much earlier in life.

Like in high school, where I once burst a stress ball from excessive squeezing, shooting little beans or beads or whatever filled the ball in every direction around my overloaded desk. Or in college when the triad of my depression, anxiety, and bulimia began to feel like the foundation of my identity.

I wish I knew …

How to Gently Coax Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone

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“Everything you ever wanted is one step outside your comfort zone.” ~Unknown

We’ve all seen this quote or similar ones. All the magic, growth, and transformation seem to happen there. Not everything that happens outside the comfort zone is magical though. So, when we go wandering, leaving the safe shores, we also need to be realistic and aware that mixed in with the good, there’s also potential pain and discomfort waiting for us.

Being aware of this, how can we still motivate ourselves to try something new and to step outside our comfort zone?

On the one hand, I …

Why Your Failures Are Your Most Valuable Currency

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“The master has failed more time than the apprentice has even attempted.” ~Proverb

There’s no prize for coming last. But that doesn’t mean it holds no value at all.

We’re so obsessed with not measuring up to expectations that we can deny ourselves the permission to take chances. So many of us are risk averse. Paralyzed by the fear of failure. It robs us of our creativity and moments of spontaneity that are often the source of our greatest triumphs.

And although some may view failure as the end of the road, it’s far from being an absolute.

You’re meant …

For People Who Look in the Mirror and Cringe

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“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

When I was fourteen years old, I vividly remember the first time I put my fingers down my throat and made myself puke.

I remember feeling fat, ugly, unworthy, and like I was not good enough. I felt as if I had no control and I was unable to effectively process the strong emotions I was feeling. Binging and purging allowed me to temporarily release these feelings, to numb them out, and created a fallacy of control …

How I Survived Suicidal Thoughts When I Really Wanted to Die

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**If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts now, please consider speaking with a trained professional through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 1-800-273-TALK.

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca

When I was twenty-four my best friend died suddenly in a car accident. She was like a sister to me, so this plunged me into a deep depression. I had struggled with depression since I was about fourteen, but it became much worse after she passed away.

At times suicide honestly seemed like the best possible solution to what I felt like I knew …

What You Need to Know Before You Start or Quit Meditating

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“Many paths lead from the foot of the mountain, but at the peak we all gaze at the single bright moon.” ~Ikkyu

I was the kid who didn’t like to sleep. In nursery school, I would pretend to be asleep at nap time, while the other kids were sleeping. I’ve always thought life was full of exciting things to explore and learn, and I didn’t want to sleep through it.

So, it shouldn’t surprise you that traditional meditation didn’t sit well with me (pun intended). I remember my Buddhist grandmother chanting and meditating twice a day. Yet I never had …