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Lifestyle Design: How to Create Your Life As You Want It

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“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” ~George Eliot

If you read a lot of blogs or are even remotely tech savvy, it’s highly likely you’ve heard the term “lifestyle design.” Perhaps you’re wondering just what the heck it means, and how you can do it, too, just because it sounds so enticing!

In a nutshell, lifestyle design embodies the attempt on your part to design a life of your choosing, whatever that looks like. It’s your life, your plan, and you call the shots.

Just because your parents lived in a small town, got married …

How to Enjoy Food More: 7 Tips to Savor Meals

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“We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.” –Adelle Davis

As I mentioned before in my blog post about needing less money, I recently decided to offer barter advertising through Tiny Buddha—meaning I plan to promote products and services I support in exchange for things I need.

This week I started my first barter arrangement with L.O.V.E. Delivery, a company here in Los Angeles that delivers organic produce right to your door.

Before my first shipment arrived two days ago, …

How to Let Go of the Need for Approval to Start Thriving

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“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing” ~Aristotle

The need for approval kills freedom.

Trust me, I know, because I spent my entire life seeking approval until I realized it was a waste of time and didn’t work anyway. The desire to get people to like me motivated the majority of my choices and actions in early life.

Queen of social chameleons, I mastered the art of telling people what they wanted to hear and being someone they would find impressive—all the while worrying incessantly about what others thought of me, fearing criticism, …

The (Real) Secret to Staying Young

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“When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” ~Benjamin Franklin

You know them well.

They pop out of every magazine you open and every billboard you drive by: skinny sixteen year-old models with blemish- and wrinkle-free skin staring blankly back at you. Like they own the place or something.

If you don’t have their complexion and shape you probably wince the same way I do when you see them splattered on that advertising campaign. Youth is where it’s at in the twenty first century.  We’re told it’s desirable and that we should want it—and inevitably, many of us do.

On any given …

Creative Types: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

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“Just as much as we see in others, we have in ourselves.” ~William Hazlitt

Most days I am a dedicated writer and artist, focused and working away with my oh-so-happy hands.

Most days I feel inspired to share adventures and insights from living in Paris for over two years while going to graduate school. Or referencing the intense spiritual work and personal growth I’ve experienced in recent years. Or describing how I quit the unfulfilling rat-race to focus on my passion and my life dreams.

Most days I have confidence and pride in my personal creations and feel pretty darn …

Take a Chance: Seize That Opportunity in 4 Steps

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“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~Unknown

Have you ever paused at a podium, feeling your hands shake as you speak to the senators before you? Have you ever laced your skates, shuddering as you heard your name announced as the next skater to compete? Have you ever found out about an amazing opportunity (say, a chance to post on Tiny Buddha), only to realize that you’re terrified to try?

I’ve been in all these risky scenarios, so I know how intimidating they can be. By definition, risk-taking doesn’t guarantee …

10 Ways to Create a Strong, Intimate Relationship

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“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -~Sam Keen

Before I married my wonderful husband, I dated a lot of men. For most of my 20s (and even my early 30s) I had a perfect fairy-ideal of what romantic love was, probably because I was an actress and loved drama back then.

It took years for me to realize a relationship is not a romance movie.

At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in …

Why Judging People Makes Us Unhappy

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“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

A friend of mine likes to joke that dying will be a relief because it will put an end to the “heavy burden of judging,” as she calls it. She envisions herself lying in a hospital bed and, moments before death, noticing the ceiling and thinking, “What a hideous green.”

Here’s a modest proposal: Vow that for the rest of the day, you won’t judge your friends and you won’t judge any strangers you happen to see. This would include a friend who’s a non-stop …

7 Ways to Benefit from Not Getting What You Want

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

A year ago, I hit rock bottom. Until that point, I had put all my energy into my dream of becoming a physician. Last year my life slammed into a brick wall, and my plans seemed to be torn into pieces.

After high school, I took every opportunity to immerse myself in the medical profession while maintaining my grades in college.

During the summer of my freshman year, I worked as an Emergency Medical Technician and practiced being a first responder during medical emergencies. …

How to Open Yourself to Love When You Didn’t Grow Up with It

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“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

I was always someone who craved love and attention. This is not to say that I accepted love willingly—quite the opposite, in fact.

If someone decided to like or even love me they would have to pass through a path of obstacles, being pushed, pulled, and tested at every corner. Only then, upon arrival at the finish line, would they gain my acceptance.

As you can imagine, this eliminated a number of potential friends and partners, and I often found myself lonely and disappointed.…

3 Mistakes That Hold You Back in Life & How to Avoid Them

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“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson

I believe we are here to grow, to expand—to learn and experience and understand. Growth and discovery are the purpose of life.

I also believe we tend to get in our own way.

Our experiences, our cultures, and even our families can create fears and limitations that can hold us back, or hold us down. They don’t do this intentionally. It’s just that we’re all doing the best we can in this beautiful, messy, complicated world.

There are so many circumstances or experiences that …

Controlling Your Inner Control Freak: The Art of Inefficiency

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“Being right is highly overrated. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” ~Unknown

I’ve always been a control freak. But I’ve learned to control it!

I was born with the ability to quickly envision the most efficient way through a task, activity, project, problem, puzzle, or challenge. This has made me useful to many people, especially in my workplaces.

But it can make people crazy, too. Especially when I’ve expected others to buy into the approach I knew would work best, fastest, most efficiently.

My partner sometimes reminds me, “It doesn’t always have to be about being efficient!”…

How to Stop Obsessing Over Things You Want

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“You only lose what you cling to.” ~Buddha

I want to be famous. I want to earn lots of money. I want boxes of expensive chocolates. I want people to like me. I want you to think that this article is the most amazing thing you’ve ever read.

Enough about me. Back to the Buddha’s quote. “You only lose what you cling to.” This doesn’t make any sense, does it? Surely you only lose what you don’t cling to?

I think there are two ways of making sense of this idea.

First, what we cling to slips away from us.…

7 Obstacles to Mindfulness and How to Overcome Them

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“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” ~Unknown

Mindfulness has allowed me to become more aware of my thoughts and reach a sense of inner peace.

As my awareness has increased, so has the peace and joy in my life. The more familiar I have become with the inner workings of my mind, the better I have started to feel.

I came onto the path of mindfulness, meditation, and spirituality when I was sixteen years old. I saw the TV-series Ed, where the main character started experimenting with …

7 Healthy Ways to Deal with Incessant Worrying

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“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

When you think about the future, are you filled with hope or worry? If you are like most people, it’s probably anxiety. You have largely been experiencing worry. Your mind feels unsettled.

Worry arises because you realize that you cannot predict what is going to happen tomorrow and know that you cannot have full control over how events turn out. You are uncomfortable with not having absolute certainty.

Incessant worrying happens when you find it hard to let go. You …

20 Things to Do When You’re Feeling Angry with Someone

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“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” ~Chinese proverb

As Tiny Buddha grows larger, I find there are a lot more people emailing me with requests. The people-pleaser in me wants to say yes to everyone, but the reality is that there is only so much time in the day—and we all have a right to allocate our time as best supports our intentions, needs, and goals.

Recently someone contacted me with a request that I was unable to honor. After I communicated that, he made a sweeping judgment about …

Discovering Your Purpose and Reaching Your Potential

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“There are two great days in a person’s life—the day we are born and the day we discover why.” ~William Barclay

The word “capacity” has many definitions. It can be summarized as the maximum measure of innate potential and the ability to understand and demonstrate one’s optimal capability and power in a specified role.

Ultimately, capacity is your gauge of purpose and potential. How much is in you? How much are you utilizing, and how much is untapped?

The capacity of a storage item—how much it can hold—depends upon size, depth, sturdiness, adaptability, and intended purpose.

These ideas …

4 Ideas to Live Simply and Cheaply When Times Are Tough

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“Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.” ~Basho

When I was a little girl growing up in the big woods of Maine, my mother used to say that gifts do not always come in the packages we expect. In many ways I’ve tried to live by her words, knowing that even during the rough times there are diamonds I can find if I look for them.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the fact that, exactly three years ago, my husband Dan and I packed up our small car and journeyed west to Los Angeles with our …

How to Let Go of Fear to Live Passionately and Authentically

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“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I’ve done a lot of stripping lately. It’s been liberating. I’ve been peeling away layers of the ego—all the accumulated stuff—to find who I am at the core.

It wasn’t too long ago when I noticed how quickly my life would go from an extreme high to an extreme low—how one moment could seem so perfect and wonderful, and then suddenly something would happen and it would turn into a less appealing scene.

The story went something like this: “Life is good. No …

How to Get Past a Setback Today to Create a Better Tomorrow

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“What does not kill me, makes me stronger” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

If you knew me, you’d think that I float through life without a care, that nothing fazes me, and that I don’t get stressed.  For the most part this is true, but every now and then something happens that really gets to me.

We have been trying to sell our house so that we can emigrate to Australia. The house has been on the market for about two years, and we’ve had three sales fall through already. So a few weeks ago, when we had agreed on a sale price …