Menu

Category “Blog”

How to Use Your Anger to Help Yourself

By

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung

I’ve experienced many degrees of anger throughout my life.

There’s the fleeting and mild kind of anger that hit me when I realized I forgot to pack my toothbrush, or when a friend was tardy again for our morning hike.

Then, there’s the corroding and strong kind of anger that I felt when I discovered that my husband had been lying to me for months.

Half-truths about his after-work activities and the people he met during those activities led to an affair, and …

How Understanding Can Lead to Forgiveness and Fulfillment

By

“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” ~John Green

I remember growing up in a lonely home. My parents were distant, and it seemed they didn’t care much about me. Their lives were all about them, so I didn’t care much about them.

My sister and I hated Christmas and New Year’s Eve because we never got any gifts or toys during that period.

We used to be so lonely at home, and we couldn’t play with the neighbors’ kids because our parents didn’t allow it. I grew up having no friends, up until …

Working on Impatience and Appreciating Its Gifts

By

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ~Marcel Proust  

It’s taken me a while, but I have finally learned to appreciate aspects of my own impatience.

For a long time I did not like this quality about myself. I am still working on becoming more patient, because impatience and I go way back.

I was impatient to get out of high school, so I fast tracked that whole experience.

I was impatient to get working, so I started working when I was fourteen.

I was impatient to finish university, so …

Be Part of the Next Tiny Buddha Book: 365 Tiny Love Challenges

By

*The deadline to submit a story has now passed. Thank you to everyone who submitted one! You will receive an email by the end of November if I’d like to include your story in the book.

When I started this site in 2009, after struggling for over a decade with depression, bulimia, and shame-induced isolation, I hoped it would be a place where we could all feel less alone with our struggles and more empowered to overcome them. I’m beyond thrilled to see that’s just what Tiny Buddha has become.

Over the past five years, I’ve been honored to help …

Knowing What Matters to You Instead of Living by Default

By

“It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau

If you are like most people reading this, I bet that you are very busy. We are all very busy. In fact, some of us even like to brag about just how busy we are. But are you busy doing the things that really matter to you?

There was a time when my life when I was busy. I was focused on my career, spending a lot of time at work, and enjoying the fruits of my labor.…

3 Ways to Find Fulfillment Wherever You Are in Life

By

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.” ~Unknown

For almost all my life, I have lived in my head.

In my head, there was a utopia. And that utopia was named “someday.”

“Someday” I would have my degree, have the perfect relationship, become successful in business, own a beautiful home near the beach, be more athletic, and of course, be completely fulfilled with every aspect of my life.

For me, “Someday” was both a place of refuge and a place of torment. Because although in my mind, it gave me something to hope for, …

Releasing Comparisons: No One Is Perfect and We All Deserve Love

By

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

I spent my teenage years and early twenties believing that my weight was my worth; that I had to look and be a particular way to be accepted or loved.

I lived in a negative cycle of comparing myself to everyone. I remember sitting in on one of my lectures in university, trying to work out if my lecturer was fatter or thinner than me.

I look back now and wonder how many times I missed the fun and parties I was too scared to go to because I felt too …

How to Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

By

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself” ~Sonya Parker

I am a sucker for saying yes.

Sometimes I even find myself thinking, “No, no, no, no” and then I blurt out, “Yes.”

Why is it so difficult to say the word “no”? It’s just a word, right?

After feeling trapped for some time by my excessive urge to be agreeable, it got me thinking.

I asked myself why it was so important for me to please everyone, to the point that I …

When Life Doesn’t Meet Our Hopes and Expectations

By

“Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.” ~Elliott Larson

I was recently watching my younger son play in a golf tournament. We had extensively prepared for this tournament over a period of several days. His technique was finely tuned. The game plan for attacking the course was in place.

The first two holes went wonderfully.

We arrived at the third hole, a medium length par three with water to the left.

In the middle of his swing, a golf cart carrying bags of ice drove right in front of him at a distance of about fifteen feet. This broke his concentration …

Accepting Things for What They Are Instead of Resisting Change

By

“What we see is mainly what we look for.” ~Unknown

Years ago I was fortunate enough to travel on a Mediterranean cruise. I had just graduated from college and was in that difficult transition stage where I didn’t know what would come next. I was looking to relax, but also hoping that some soul searching would lead to clarity, epiphanies, and answers.

One day I thought I found them on the island of Santorini, Greece.

Between the blinding whites, the sapphire blues, the sun-kissed streets, and the black-sand beaches, I felt like I had been dropped in a utopia.

There, …

You Can Change Your Life with Tiny Daily Improvements

By

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” ~Karen Kaiser Clark

Of all the people who have passed through my life over the years, the one person I remember the most was this old, ornery man who seemed to have the personality of a mule. Stubborn to the core, with a straightforward approach to everything, Phil was a difficult man to like, yet I learned to love him.

Phil didn’t speak much, but when he did, it came from the heart. He grew up in the mid thirties, in a rough Detroit neighborhood, composed mainly of Irish immigrants. In Phil’s …

Marrying Joy: You’re the One You’ve Been Waiting For

By

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts

There had been other voices asking such questions as “How can this be happening?” and “When will this end?” that I understood: My partner was planning his honeymoon before our divorce was final.

After the divorce, a voice asked a question I didn’t understand, “Will you marry me?”

“Marry me” popped into my head at what seemed to me the least likely times: talking zip codes with my new mailman at my new home, passing strangers on the street, visiting old friends, …

5 Simple Ways to Quickly Resolve Conflict with Your Partner

By

“Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion.” ~Unknown

You have a small disagreement with your partner, and before you know it, it escalates into a big fight. Sound familiar?

You then get dreadfully grumpy. You stick your head in the ground like an ostrich and ignore your partner. You think that you have the right to be grumpy or even angry.

You’re in “war” mode now, and you want to win the battle. You dig a trench, jump into it, and arm yourself with weapons.

You barely listen to a word your partner says, and all you want …

Why Walking Away Is Sometimes the Most Compassionate Choice

By

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

In May 2012, I was appointed guardian and conservator of my father, and my brother was appointed co-guardian. Our father was declared mentally incompetent by the county court.

My father was, and is, an alcoholic. When I was growing up, he was an abusive alcoholic. He gave out wounds like gifts. He used words to cut us open, and then he threatened us with salt.

I lived in hypervigilance, and I learned that being alone, quiet, and invisible was the safest state …

The First Thing You Need to Do to Change Your Life

By

“Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny.” ~Steven Pressfield

Altering your life in the smallest or grandest way is so simple, but it requires you to do something you likely are already doing all of the time.

If you’ve ever wanted to take up a discipline, begin a new business, stop an addiction, or start anything new, it’s the same for all.

Any life change requires one simple action: you to decide.

Over five years ago, I knew …

Making Love Last, Even When It’s Long-Distance

By

“Love as much as you can from wherever you are.” ~Thaddeus Golas

At the time I’m writing this article, I have been in a relationship for 1,369 days out of which 716 have been long-distance.

Yes, I keep track of the days, not just the months or the years, because I live every day, not every month.

I will not pretend the long-distance part has been an easy journey; and anyone who has dabbled even for a little bit in the idea of long-distance relationships can tell you that it takes a lot of love, but more importantly it takes …

Try Not to Become Bitter: There Is More Good Than Bad

By

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

A few years ago, when my younger son was about ten, the reality of the losses that go with living in this beautiful but flawed world suddenly hit him.

I’ll never forget the conversation. This was a child born two months before 9/11, and since we live in a New York suburb and my husband worked across the street from the Twin Towers, what was a loss for so many has been my son’s reality his whole life. Both of my sons are in the generation …

Overcome Limiting Thoughts: 5 Ways to Be Happier and More Present

By

“The past exists only in our memories, the future only in our plans. The present is our only reality.” ~Robert Pirsig

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by unpleasant thoughts and feelings? Do they show up like an uninvited guest when you’re least expecting them?

About eight months ago, I quit a lucrative corporate job in finance to follow my passion, writing.

Like most things in life, this decision came with a cost.

And all the angst that comes with it.

A few months into my venture, I noticed my angst had become a large part of my mental world. I …

Letting Go of the Attachments That Keep You Unhappy

By

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My father died when I was fifteen, so I learned right away that life was too short. At the time, the only meaning I could grasp from his death was that my life needs to mean something.

I vowed to make something great out of myself.

I went to college determined to become a police officer. I had a strange gut feeling going in, something telling me that it was wrong, but I just assumed it was because I had a hearing loss, and …

How to Find Yourself By Losing Yourself

By

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson

Growing up in a small town in Western Canada, I was known as the kid who accomplished things.

I was the well-mannered and conscientious child who skipped grade two, was at the top of her class, played three musical instruments, took ballet lessons, French lessons, swimming lessons, and any other lesson in which I expressed an interest.

While this might sound like the calendar of an over-scheduled kid, it actually never felt that way. …

15 Things You Can’t Control (and What You Can Control Instead) + Worksheet [FREE]Access Now
Access Now