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How to Be Sure External Factors Aren’t Affecting Your Decision

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“Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion.” ~Unknown

It was a beautiful day today. The sun shone brightly, kissing my face and warming my bones, the sky was as blue as a lover’s eyes, and there were those little fluffy clouds that seem like aimless but happy sheep floating gently in the sky.

And my heart sang.

I felt joy deep down in my soul.

I smiled at bus drivers and baristas alike.

Nothing could dent my good mood.

Currently mulling over medium-term plans (I started living as a digital nomad two years ago), I started to consider …

5 Practices to Help You Let Go and Embrace Change

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“Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~Unknown

The summer I turned twenty, I worked as a camp counselor at an educational camp with strict rules. As one of my responsibilities, I escorted groups of fifteen to twenty students, ranging in age from middle school to high school, to and from their classes and activities across a large urban campus.

I was in charge of a group of spoiled, rebellious sixteen and seventeen-year-olds who would rather be spending their summer anywhere but at an academic camp.

Because I was only a few …

Why We Should Look Forward to More of Each Day

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“Use your smile to change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.” ~Unknown

For most of us the average day includes a mix of things we both look forward to and things we don’t look forward to. We look forward to coffee in the morning, we regret that we have to go to work; we look forward to coming home at the end of the day, we dislike that we have to do laundry.

But how much of your life are you giving up if you dread, dislike, regret and don’t look forward to, say, 50% of your …

Surrendering to Things We Can’t Control or Change

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“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

I’ve always sped through life. I’ve always been ready to take on the next moment, that new place, make a new memory.

I’m an obsessive planner. I love control. Seriously, I love the feeling of researching and executing a plan flawlessly. It makes me feel like it’s all worth something, or it gives my life meaning. Nothing satisfies me more than being able to check that next “life goal” off the multiple checklists I create.

This idea of getting to the next place and achieving as …

How I’m Getting Past Internal Resistance So I Can Live a Life I Love

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“Your actions are your only true belongings.” ~Allan Lokos

This is not a piece about a person who has already finished her journey. I am not here to tell you that I’ve emerged from a dark place into a place of ease, or that I’ve discovered a profound new way of being that shields me from daily stresses.

I wish I could tell you those things. I love to read about successes like that.

Instead, I am in a messy stage of my journey, holding on to the glimmers of joy that I feel throughout each day, dreaming and journaling…

When You Want to Make a Change but Feel Confused and Scared

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“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever had an inner knowing that it was time to make some life changes, but you felt too confused to make them?

I’ve certainly felt that way a time or two. After I graduated college years ago, I felt completely confused about what I was going to do with my life. I was asking myself questions like: How am I going to find meaning? What should I do for a career? How can I make my dreams a reality?

But what if you …

How To Respond When Someone Takes Advantage of You

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“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

Several months ago, I moved into a new house. During the inspection of my old house, I was expecting to receive my whole security deposit back.

I didn’t. The landlady took advantage of the situation and withheld part of my deposit.

She charged me the price of cleaning the whole house even though I was only renting a room in the house. And she charged for me something that was already damaged when I moved in, falsely …

Pacing Yourself When You Want the Pain to Stop

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“The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I was in pain.

My legs hurt, I felt nauseated, my heart thumped hard and fast, and I labored for every breath.

I was halfway up a steep, three-mile hill, and I was so exhausted I could barely keep my bike upright.

My mind tried desperately to solve this problem: “Should I stop? I should stop. No! I’ve done this hill in the past without stopping—what’s the problem this time? I hate this! Why is this so painful?”

I glanced over at my …

How I Broke Free from Depression When I Felt Suicidal

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“I’m stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness.” ~Unknown

I was diagnosed with clinical depression and prescribed anti-depressants when I was twenty-one years old. I refer to this point in my life as the “Dark Ages.”

Leading up to grad school, I’d suddenly become afflicted with incomprehensible despair.

At seventeen, for the first time (at least for the first time I could remember), I considered suicide. I felt as if life should’ve been more than what it was. I had a deep sense that I was supposed to …

A Beginner’s Guide To Trying New Things

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“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~Pema Chodron

I have a confession: I was really scared of trying yoga for the first time.

I know, I know, it’s not exactly bungee jumping or skydiving, activities that warrant a certain amount of fear. In fact, yoga seems downright tame by comparison. But I was still scared nonetheless.

Someone recommended the age-old practice to me to stretch out my perpetually tight hamstrings and strengthen my bad knee. But instead of jumping at the chance to heal my body through gentle, …

How to Let Go of Guilt and Regret and Forgive Yourself

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“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boes

In October of 2010 I was engaged after only three weeks of dating. I was scared to tell my family, but I was terrified to tell my father. My parents divorced when I was five, and I couldn’t spend weekends at Dad’s because he lived thousands of miles away. I saved him for last and decided to take the cowardly way out by emailing him.

It was not the best decision I’ve ever made. Not only did it infuriate and hurt him, it ended up producing …

Letting Go of the Past So You Can Be Reborn

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“In the end what matters most is: How well did you live? How well did you love? How well did you learn to let go?” ~Unknown

In a matter of days, it was all gone: the role in a company I adored, the future I had imagined, and our friend Max, so loved by all who knew him.

The loss washed over me in a sudden gust. I was being called to begin again, to re-examine what I thought was important. And, in facing the feelings that arose with being stripped abruptly of these attachments, the inessential was forced to …

A Warning and a Gift for Anyone Who Isn’t Pursuing Their Dreams

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“Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

I grew up on a small cattle farm in the very small farming town of Savannah, Missouri with my grandfather and great grandparents.

My great grandmother used to sit outside on the back porch and string green beans or peel apples when the weather was mild, a worn dish towel over her knee and an ancient paring knife moving with practiced ease. As a very small child I would often sit with her, watching, and sometimes we would talk.

One …

Stop Feeling Powerless and Start Powerfully Creating Your Life

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“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

Some might say I was a late bloomer. I only discovered how powerful I really was at twenty-nine.

My childhood and teenage years were horrific; I was severely bullied from when I first walked through the school gates to when I left for the last time. In my early formative years I was laughed at, verbally abused, and completely socially isolated.

I was the equivalent of a lepper. No one wanted to be my friend for fear they would “catch” what I had and be bullied themselves. …

Why Life Is A Lot More Fun When We Stop Trying to Be Perfect

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

“Oh, my god,” she said, “I forgot to shave my left leg!”

That may not sound like a particularly dramatic announcement, but Jenny and I were sharing a seat on the chartered bus taking our senior class to the beach for “Senior Cut Day” a few weeks before graduation, and her discovery horrified me.

An unshaved leg, it seemed to me at the time, was scandalous in the extreme.

Had it been me who forgot to …

The Path to Freedom: Stop Controlling and Defining Yourself

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“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~Albert Einstein

I had drawn a line so deep in the sand about who I was.

I was certain I was on my way to becoming a better version of me.

And then.

Water rushed in, softening that line, revealing that I was part of something much bigger than I saw myself to be.

Something much bigger than I could control myself into.

So many children grow up with circumstances far …

Are You Too Busy to Enjoy Your Life?

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“It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau

I was slipping deeper into a dark spiral after my fortieth birthday, looking for anything to grab onto and pull myself out of the darkness. Some said I was having a midlife crisis, but I believe it was actually the beginning of an awakening for me. For the sake of argument, I’ll call it a midlife awakening.

This by no means meant that I understood the meaning of life and was all of a sudden enlightened and happy—quite the …

3 Powerful Ways to Get Moving When You Feel Stuck in Life

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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

I realized I’m going to die soon.

Not, you know, imminently. But soon. Even sixty is soon. Seventy, eighty, ninety, still soon. And I’ll be lucky if I get that old.

I’m going to die.

What’s gotten into me? Maybe it’s the Robin Williams story. That would make sense. A loss that’s shocking really resets your perspective.

Life is fleeting, it’s brief. Even if it’s what we’d consider a long life, it’s short.

This was a thought of mine in the shower today.

I think …

Stop Waiting for Life to Change: How to Feel at Peace Now

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“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

Humans are amazing creatures. We have so much potential to create, effect change, and love. We can generate and organize. We can grow and learn.

The unharnessed creative potential within us also means that we have the capacity for destruction. We can start wars over words, or follow our monkey minds into a frenzy of worry and distraction. We can keep on telling ourselves that when that one thing we want so badly happens, then everything will be better.

We are so creative that we believe …

Healing from Heartbreak: How to Lessen the Pain

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“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over.” ~Mandy Hale

Heartbreak. It’s a hard thing to go through. And the pain—it’s real, isn’t it? Like tangible pain. Almost as if that person, throughout the time we were with them, emblazoned our hearts with tiny little hooks and, one by one, they’re being wrenched out. Sounds dramatic, but that’s how it felt to me!

This recent breakup has been the most significant in my life so far. …

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