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3 Tips to Get Out of Your Head and Start Expressing Yourself

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“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” ~Bruce Lee

I have always been timid when it comes to expressing myself, speaking my mind, and standing up for something. This stems from being raised in a culture where showing emotions is frowned upon.

Nothing I ever did seemed good enough. There was constant criticism that I could do better, and be better. I was raised to never to talk back to my seniors and not to say anything when I had nothing nice to say.

So …

Avoid the Pain of Emotional Eating and Transform Your Mood

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“To ensure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” ~William Londen

In essence, interconnectedness refers to the linkages between all things. Some even take it a step further and say that not only is everything linked, but in actuality, there are no real distinctions between you and me, between thought and behavior, or between past, present, and future.

On the surface, the concept of interconnectedness seems simple—everything is linked to everything else, and everyone is linked to everyone else. However, in practice, applying the concept of interconnectedness to the way I …

3 Self-Honoring Ways to Deal with Low-Energy Days

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“Being who you are is another way of accepting yourself.” ~Unknown

A few months ago I woke up with what my good friend and I call “the rage.” I was automatically annoyed by the tone of people’s emails in my inbox. I was frustrated by the lack of response from others. My tea tasted too strong. I felt cooped up in the house. Need I go on?

So I went to the gym to increase my endorphins. I figured that a good workout would be the perfect cure-all.

It wasn’t. I left my HIIT (high intensity interval training) pleasantly exhausted …

Why Fulfillment Comes from Being Yourself, and How to Be Okay with That

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“To wish you are someone else is to waste the person you are.”  ~Sven Goran Eriksson

I have been studying business and marketing for quite some time now, watching the most successful men and women very carefully and picking apart how they’ve achieved what they’ve achieved.

I’ve read every book I can get my paws on and thought long and hard about why they have managed it and others just haven’t.

I’ve also seen many businesses and online brands mimicking exactly what those super successful people are doing, and I’ve wondered why they are a mere shadow on the wall …

Making Your Passion Your Career (Despite the Naysayers)

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“Don’t let life randomly kick you into the adult you don’t want to become.” ~Chris Hadfield, astronaut

As a kid, you put zero thought into doing what you loved.

You simply played, not knowing that your future self wouldn’t play that much at all. Work was serious business.

When I was in kindergarten, our classroom had a block center, a board game shelf, a home center with dolls and a play stove, a drawing center, and a sand table.

We naturally gravitated to the area that was most fun, with no thought about what would look good on our …

The Real Reason Some People Always Seem to Push Your Buttons

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“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” ~Buddha

I always felt invisible whenever my husband and I got together with a certain couple.

Every time we saw them, it triggered feelings of rejection because they would go on and on about themselves and never ask about how I was doing or feeling. I went home feeling ignored and sad every time.

Finally, after putting up with this non-reciprocal relationship for a number of years, I decided that it was best for us to break free from it. 

For the longest time I couldn’t figure …

What to Do When People in Your Life Don’t Want to Change

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“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit

We all know at least one person who we think needs a self-help course or book more than we do. They’re the “wrong” ones, at least in our minds.

I once was in a relationship with a man who seemed to have placed me at the bottom of his priority list. He would always be too busy playing sports or going out with his coworkers to spend time with me.

I found myself modifying my weekend schedule to match …

Saying Goodbye to One Adventure Is Saying Hello to Another

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“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” ~Paulo Coelho

When I was born, the nurse lifted me from the bed, placed me on a cold metal operating table, and prepped my umbilical cord to be severed. As my parents put it, I “screamed bloody murder” when she attended to me, then grabbed ahold of the index finger of her latex glove and pulled it clean off.

“You just wouldn’t let go,” my dad recalls, chuckling.

That often-told family tale has risen to consciousness many times during the last few months, especially …

5 Ways to Let Go of Worries So You Can Be Light and Free

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“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Our daughter is seeing a counselor to help her deal with anxiety. She’s only ten. Cue mother guilt.

There are a whole lot of (mostly crazy) worries running around her little head, some that even I can’t wrap my head around. So I wrap my arms around her and reassure her that things will be okay.

I give her permission to be anxious, but try to instill resilience so she won’t worry so much. I try to teach her mindfulness …

Create New Opportunities by Challenging Your Judgments and Reactions

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“Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.” ~Byron Katie

“Alright, it’s time to break into groups,” said the professor.

Immediately, I thought, “I hate group work. I can’t trust other students.” Before even meeting the other members of the group, I was sabotaging the opportunity with negativity.

How often do you do this?

The six of us waited, looking at each other with blank faces.

“Okay, now it’s time to pick a group leader,” said the professor. “Each group will be assigned a psychologist to present his or her major contributions to psychology. …

Focus on Yourself Instead of Trying to Change Someone Else

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“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown

I was the one who was the designated driver in high school and college. I wanted to be in control of how I arrived and left a party. Besides, the taste of alcohol did not please, so it was a win-win situation in my mind.

Then, a decade later, I found myself dating someone who was addicted to drugs. I thought if he could just hang around me, see how I found joy without being altered by substances and bask in my love, then he could stay sober.

In the …

The Secret to Getting Along With Your Parents

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“My experience is that the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with right now.” ~Byron Katie

Nothing hurts like being misunderstood, and there is no place that this feeling runs rampant quite like it does with family.

I used to think I was the only one.

For years after I moved out, each visit back home would be preceded by careful, specific preparation. I would try to brace myself for whatever would be coming my way.

I would spend the entire two-hour bus ride turning all of the possible criticisms and probable arguments over and over in …

What Babies Teach Us About Self-Image and Letting Go

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“The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The nurse found me slumped behind the soda machine.

“Honey, are you okay?” she asked, brow crinkled in nervous response to my (apparently louder than I’d realized) sobs.

I nodded, answering in messy sniffles. The nurse, not entirely convinced, assured me that if I needed anything, she’d be at the desk just around the corner.

I remained crouched in my not-so-perfect hiding place a while longer, waiting until my breaths no longer shook to trudge back to my mom’s hospital room. The news …

Why Self-Pity is Harmful and How to Let It Go

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“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson

Some of us experience more adversity and painful events in our lives than others. We wonder why our difficulties don’t happen to the “bad” people out there instead of us. Unfortunately, life is not fair.

Awful things happen. Dreadful circumstances or tragedies will affect most of …

Finding Our Inner Child and Having More Fun in Life

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“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.” ~Tom Stoppard

Just the other day, I was at my daughter’s school to watch her participate in a spelling bee. As the kids came into the room, I took notice of their manner and their faces.

They looked excited, frightened, and some, decidedly uninterested. The teacher led them over to their area and promptly told them to sit on the floor, in two straight lines, and no talking please. They complied.

Some kids pushed at the others to “move over!” Some held …

Letting Go of Yesterday and Using the Gift of the Present

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“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” ~Alice Morse Earle

Did you make a mistake yesterday? Or did something bad happen to you a few weeks ago? Are you still dwelling on it, doing all you can to move on? Then this post is for you.

Why? Because I want you to know that you’re not alone.

Just like you, my past wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. No one in this world has a past that is sparkling clean and error-free. We’ve all made mistakes. That’s …

How to Strengthen Relationships by Releasing Fear and Control

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“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is: a dissatisfaction with self.” ~Joan Didion

When I was a young man I had an issue with relationships. Looking back now, it is easy to see that I had low self-esteem, though I could not see it at the time. Because of my low self-image and my neediness, many relationships that could have had a decent chance went by the way side.

I developed a low-level anxiety about how much any girlfriend cared for me, which, in turn, became outright jealousy and resulted in controlling behavior.

I would …

How Gratitude Can Calm Your Nerves and Make You More Effective

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“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” ~Cicero

Being grateful or practicing gratitude has many benefits, including improving our health, relationships, careers, sleep, and self-esteem, to name just a few.

In recent years, these benefits have been confirmed in scientific studies showing how the brain is “rewired” by continuous grateful thoughts.

However, I recently discovered (and experienced) another significant, and I believe mainly overlooked, benefit of being grateful—in the somewhat unusual setting of a major seniors championship tennis tournament I played in Palm Springs this past January. I learned that:

Practicing

…

Living an Exciting Life When You Fear Leaving Your Comfort Zone

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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown 

What if you realized on evening of December 31st, that the past 365 days were the best yet? Imagine a single year in which you scared yourself into your deepest fears and faced more challenges than you ever had from all the previous years combined?

Moving forward, how would you feel about one-upping that year? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Scattered? Yeah, me too.

This was the question that I asked myself on the last evening of 2013 that left me thinking back on distant memories, …

Why Your Problems Are Not Nearly as Permanent as They Seem

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“When we
go back into the past and rake up all the troubles we’ve had, we end up reeling and staggering through life. Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment.” ~Pam Vredevelt

There is a way in which we tend to view issues in our lives that makes it seem like the issue is a big, scary monster that chases us around everywhere we go.

We have commitment issues. Or we are bad with money. Or we have an eating disorder, we drink too much, or we follow-through too seldom.

We view ourselves and our lives …