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Follow Your Heart: Stop Playing It Safe and Start Really Living

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“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” ~Fay Weldon

After an extremely harrowing time dealing with big life changes while working a very stressful job, I snapped.

No, I didn’t reach for the nearest stapler and start attacking my colleagues (though this was a secret fantasy when the going got really tough). The words of that song by The Animals came to mind and I decided, “I got to get out of this place.” At least for a little while.

And so, after much planning, globe spinning, and Google searching, I finally cobbled together an itinerary and nervously asked …

Emotions Are a Strength, Not a Design Flaw

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“Eyes that do not cry, do not see.” ~Swedish Proverb

Just get over it. Don’t be so sensitive. You should toughen up and grow a thicker skin


I’ve heard this advice so much over my life, but I’ve never seen it make anyone happy.

Advised to toughen up with thicker skins so we can protect ourselves, we end up just bottling it up inside and pushing away how we feel, hoping it looks like we’re strong.

It’s like trying to avoid our own shadow. We believe it’s gone because it’s behind us, but it’s totally visible to anyone else who …

How Sensitivity Can Be a Gift (And How to Give it to the World)

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“We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.” ~Alan Watts

Are you good at noticing subtle details? Are you able to learn without really being aware that you are learning? Do you notice other people’s moods? Do these moods affect you?

Are you sensitive to pain? Are you equally sensitive to beauty?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you, like me, are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Chances are, you are constantly trying to make sense of how being sensitive fits into a world where a certain amount of insensitivity is …

7 Simple (and Surprising) Tips to Help You Realize Your Dreams

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“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” ~Unknown

It’s tricky sometimes, isn’t it?

Trying to find our place on this planet.

Tapping into our inner desires.

Sometimes we know what we want but not how to get there. Sometimes we know “this isn’t me,” but we have no clue who “me” is. And sometimes we think we’re already there, then something out of the ordinary happens and we realize, this isn’t me at all.

At each stage there are pitfalls than can keep us looking in the wrong direction, stuck in fear, or stressed about …

Doing Your Best Without the Stress of Perfectionism

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“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller

Have you ever been stopped in your tracks by perfectionism? Would you rather not do something if you can’t be sure it will be perfect? Although this kind of thinking doesn’t make much sense, I understand it, because I’ve been there.

I’d like to share with you some insights that helped me overcome my own deeply ingrained perfectionism and the unhappiness and stagnation it caused me.

Avoiding perfectionism doesn’t mean avoiding quality work and high achievement.

I am someone who loves making sure that even the …

Doing What’s Best for Us Even If Other People Don’t Like It

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“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

I got the call late one Sunday afternoon while sitting at work. “Babe, your toilet tub and shower are backed up.” What?

“It’s bad babe, and getting worse.” Okay, I thought, I’ll call my landlord.

“Hello, this is so and so and you’ve got my voicemail. Please leave me a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

Damn. Answering machine. Message left.

Text message time. Left that one too.

I wrapped up work and raced home. Yuck. It was bad. And like …

Stop Worrying About What Other People Think and Be Yourself

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“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” ~Oscar Wilde

Confession: I’m a master wallflower.

In high school, a friend and I decided to skip our dreary computer class and roam the halls instead. The following day, our crabby teacher immediately reprimanded my friend for skipping class. I sat directly next to her, giggling and rubbing it in her face.

The teacher didn’t even know my name, let alone that I had skipped his class the previous day. I rejoiced in my anonymity thinking, “It pays to be unknown.”

To an extent, it was true. My friend was so disruptive and …

Why We Don’t Need to Feel Bad About Feeling Bad

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“Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go.” ~Mooji

I once thought that the goal of meditation was to reach a state of constant positivity, a natural euphoria in which a person simply does not get angry or depressed.

I think that a lot of people begin practicing meditation thinking that their teacher has reached this euphoric state of being. I have learned, though, that these negative feelings are never permanently banished from anyone’s mind.

As someone that has been struggling with anxiety and depression disorders since early childhood, I turned to meditation as a teenager as a …

The Power of Silence: How to Free Yourself from Painful Thoughts

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“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at anytime and be yourself.” ~Hermann Hesse

As a child, I hated when someone told me to sit still and be quiet, and rightly so. I was young and full of energy; every minute of being still and silent was a minute of missing out on this magnificent life.

Then, as I grew older and entered into teenage and young adult years, it grew into a fear with a capital “F” of being still and silent; for as soon as I was quiet and still, the …

Why We Talk More Than We Listen and What We Gain When We Stop

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“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” – Brene Brown

I like to talk. A lot.

It’s how I get ideas and work through concepts I’m not quite clear on. It’s how I get myself motivated or calm myself down.

If you let me, I would probably talk your ear off all day. As a creative grasshopper, my mind runs a mile a minute, and has no shortage of ideas to explore.

But a conversation in which people are talking, but not listening, is not really a conversation. It’s selfish, unsatisfying, and does absolutely nothing to build real connections.…

Some Things Take Time: Slow Down and Stop Pushing

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“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As life speeds up, as we check our phones and Twitter feeds for instant gratification, as we seek out another spiritual practice in the promise of evolving even faster, we have lost sight of something quite fundamental.

Some things just take time. This can apply to relationships, business, and, in my experience, it especially applies to spiritual awakening.

Yes, our practices such as meditation, dance, service, and energy work can support us on our soul journey. But rushing our development can even result in us taking one step forward and two steps …

When You’re Frustrated by a Delay: 8 Reasons to Appreciate It

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“All great achievements require time.” ~Maya Angelou

We all have a picture of what we want in our heads.

We get attached to a timeline for achieving it. We fantasize about the results and how it will bring us happiness.

We begin to work hard to attain it.

But when we don’t get it right away, we get frustrated. We want things to move as quickly as possible.

If we want a relationship, we want to find our perfect partner as soon as we can. If we’re building a career or a business, we want success in months. If we …

When You Want More Love and Support in Relationships

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“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

For years, I felt unfulfilled in my relationships. I often felt drained, and as if I was the only one giving and doing things for others.

I couldn’t quite understand what I was doing wrong and why relationships were so challenging for me. All I wanted to do was to feel loved and supported. Why couldn’t I get that?

Then, nearly three years ago, after a bad breakup and a ton of other relationship challenges, I reached a breaking point. I knew I …

When You Don’t Fit In: The Value of Being Different

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

When I was ten, my blonde, blue-eyed best friend gave me a label.

“I never thought I’d make friends with anyone brown,” she said. She was clearly embarrassed by her revelation and had summoned the courage to own up.

I was dumbstruck for a moment. I never really thought of myself as brown, or indeed, as anything. I was just me.

Then, wanting to get us both out of this awkward situation, and thinking of how my Sri Lankan mother would compliment my beautiful golden brown skin, I …

Why I Don’t Need Success and Validation to Be Happy

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“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”~ Sonya Friedman

Five years ago I was driven, determined, and thriving. I was in the middle of a career in financial services that had started in sales, led to management, and, at that point, had me pushing myself and competing as a director in the retail banking business.

I was proud of what I had achieved and what I intended to achieve. I had the trappings of success as I saw them—the house, the car, the salary, and job title that reflected my level of achievement—and I had a huge …

Simple Ways to Avoid Burnout When You’re Working Hard

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“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

On any given day you can find me perched on the edge of my chair, staring at a computer screen. My setup is most definitely ergonomically incorrect, and my posture would make any yoga teacher cringe.

I type and click my mouse and do my work. I occasionally look up and out my windows to a lucky view of ferns, palms, and a few unidentified trees rising up over a blue-green pool. A southern California sky caps the scene.

My brain buzzes with ideas, answers, …

How to Rise Above Difficult Circumstances and Be Happy

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“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~Viktor Frankl

I first got wind of this transformative concept when I was a teenager reading Man’s Search For Meaning.

It has played beautifully into what has become my life theme: how people transcend their adversities. I’ve forever been inspired by how (some) people can go through so much and yet be able to rise above and live well. I call it living well despite


It seems to boil …

When You Feel Purposeless and Fear You’re Wasting Time

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“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~George Bernard Shaw

I wanted a guarantee.

I wanted to know for sure that if I tried to do something, I would like it; if I devoted my limited time to it, I’d end up somewhere good.

I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt certain this was a phenomenal failing—because if you don’t know right now what you need to do to make your life count, life will pass you by before you’ve ever had a chance to do something meaningful or …

How Taking a Step Backward Can Be the Way Forward

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“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” ~KT Witten

As I said goodbye on my last day of work, I couldn’t help feeling smug. When my colleagues turned up for work on Monday morning, I’d be at home, free to do whatever I wanted with my day.

I’d resigned to explore the possibilities of a career in writing. With no clear idea of what the immediate future held, I was both nervous and excited.

I imagined myself in a few years’ time, happily making a fortune from all my creative endeavors, living a …

Dealing With Criticism: 5 Tools to Develop a Thick Skin

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“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Miguel Ruiz

Have you ever opened a spring-loaded email? You know, the kind with a nasty barb inside that hits you like a punch in the gut?

My business partner and I had recently launched our new podcast, and he had forwarded me an email he’d received from a viewer.

“Just watched Episode One,” the writer said. “GREAT idea! But WAY too much talking. Want specifics, not Melissa’s self-indulgent blathering on about the creative process
”

Ouch. My vision blurred at this …