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Consumed by Food? 6 Lessons on Overcoming Disordered Eating

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“The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Don’t give up.” ~Robert Tew

For a good twelve years of my life, I was obsessively consumed with food.

I had this unhealthy relationship with my body and my eating. I simultaneously loathed myself and desperately desired to be skinnier, while also compulsively binging until I couldn’t move.

For months I would restrict. I’d eat some fruit for breakfast, green peppers, and ranch dressing for lunch and a few bites of whatever was in my fridge for dinner. I was also hooked on diet pills and exercised …

A Simple 3-Step Process for Reaching Your Dreams

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“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet success unexpected in common hours.” ~Henry David Thoreau 

I had dreams—dreams I thought could never be.

The dream of wanting to publish but never thinking I was a good enough writer; of being a painter but not even knowing how to hold a brush; of running a business without an MBA.

Too often in my past, I put these dreams off, waiting to feel like everything was “right”—the right timing, right environment, right preparation, right education, or …

How To Reclaim Your True Identity and Live Beyond Your Labels

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“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” ~Ralph Ellison

Who are you? Yes, you! No, not what the world has tried to make you. Not what your past tells you. Not what your worries tell you about your future. Who are you?

If you’ve ever felt like your identity has been completely shattered, then I have news for you


Good! You’re on the right path. Give me a second, because I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m going with this.

Well, how do I begin reclaiming my identity once it’s lost? First, in realizing what your identity is. What …

7 Simple Ways To Make Life Simpler (Even If Your Life Is a Little Crazy)

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“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage—to move in the opposite direction.” ~E.F. Schumacher

I used to live the most complicated life you could imagine.

I tried to be perfect at everything. All the time.

I was constantly proving myself. Trying to climb the corporate ladder while juggling work and family life. I would step into my boss’ shoes whenever she went on leave, no matter how little notice she gave.

I’d extend my hours to ensure I had her work covered, along with my …

1,501 Mindful Communication Tips (Interview & Giveaway: What Would Buddha Say?)

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Update: The winners for this giveaway are Divya Rangi and Sand.

Growing up in a loud Italian family, I learned early on to scream and speak fast if I wanted to be heard. Neither of these things is conducive to speaking mindfully. And doing these two things together, especially when angry or agitated, all but guarantees a stressful, ineffective conversation.

I’ve had quite a few of those in my life. And more times than I care to admit I’ve hurt people with things I’ve said—to them or about them.

I’ve offended people by speaking impulsively, I’ve damaged trust by …

5 Habit Makeovers That Will Help You Turn Your Life Around

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“Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days ahead.” ~Kris Carr

Around this time four years ago, my life was a mess.

Work-wise, I felt like I had hit a wall. The relationship I was in (or so I thought I was) was turning out to be a one-way street on which I was being taken for a long, long, painful ride.

Taking care of myself was something I did only when I remembered to, or during unpredictable moments of clarity or calm within the little emotional tornado I was spinning around and around in.

Just …

How to Help Yourself by Owning Your “Bad” Qualities

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“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” ~William Shakespeare

Like many women, I feared my own voice.

I feared what would happen if I acknowledged my feelings and I feared what would happen if I expressed them.

Above all, I feared that people would leave me if I ever communicated as my true self.

In my family and culture, feelings are things that are best when denied. I was taught they are a liability that, if embraced, would lead to fights, pain, and loneliness. I was encouraged to ignore, avoid, and push them down into …

Who Would You Be If You Were Already Enough?

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“You are the truth, from foot to brow. Now, what else would you like to know?” ~ Rumi

As our plane left the runway heading from Vancouver to Thailand for our six-week backpacking trip, I said a little prayer.

It went something like, “I’ll be honest, I’m searching for something profound on this trip, so is it too much to ask for some enlightenment to illuminate my way? And please, please keep these three boys and me safe.”

We’re back now, after a few harrowing and eye-opening experiences, a sea-full of adventure, and a lifetime’s worth of wild beauty. And …

The Simple, Free, and Foolproof Way to Become a Happier Person

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“For it is in giving that we receive.” ~St. Francis of Assisi

If there were a magic pill that led to a 22% lower mortality rate and higher levels of self-esteem and happiness, would you try it?

I’m betting you would.

Well I’m here to share some good news: there’s no need for pills or money or magic. In fact, the solution is both free and easy. It’s called volunteering, and it’s proven to make you happier and healthier. All it requires is an open mind, full heart, and a few hours of your time.

Wondering why giving …

How to Overcome Emotional Overload When You’re Highly Empathetic

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“When someone throws you a stone, throw back a flower.” ~Gandhi

“Ouch,” I cried out instinctively as my husband, Barry, and I walked through the beach parking lot, barefoot. It was only when Barry turned to me and asked me why I yelled out that I realized it was him who stubbed his toe, and not me.

“Because it hurts,” I answered him. He looked at me curiously and said, “But it didn’t hurt you. It hurt me. I’m the one who stubbed my toe.”

It hadn’t dawned on me that feeling other people’s pain wasn’t a “normal” reaction.

All …

3 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Feel Unsupported in Relationships

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“A community of friends supporting each other can make a world of difference.” ~Unknown

Many of us feel we’re not getting the support we want or deserve in relationships.

Maybe we’ve never felt supported by our friends or family. Maybe we don’t feel supported by our peers or co-workers. Maybe we don’t even feel supported by our partner.

This can leave us feeling drained, tired, and unhappy, like we’re moving through life without much fuel to keep going.

During my adolescence and early adulthood, this was a huge struggle for me. I rarely found a place or group of friends …

Look Around (Not at Your Phone) and Be Present in Your Life

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“Enjoy the little things because one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

Ten years ago I moved from the urban metropolis of London, where I grew up and spent the early part of my adult life, to the rural Mediterranean idyll of the coast of the Costa Brava in Northern Spain, in my quest to find the ultimate “quality of life.”

I was able to make this move largely because I could be digitally connected to the rest of the world from anywhere.

For me, digital technology in its early form provided …

Plan Less and Enjoy More: Give Yourself Space to Simply Be

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“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” ~Mandy Hale

I’m a Type A personality who formerly scheduled days, weeks, and even seasons in advance. I planned my day, my meals, and my activities, as well as those of my family, with the precision of a military regiment.

Why? Part of it was control and part of it fear. The fear led to wanting to control. Letting things happen naturally without a plan would certainly mean chaos would ensue.

I had reached the stage in my life where I …

Feeling Trapped? Step into the Unknown and Set Yourself Free

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“Don’t call it uncertainty—call it wonder. Don’t call it insecurity—call it freedom.” ~Osho

My daughter loves birds. So, as a treat, we all went to a Bird of Prey center near to where we live. Here in the UK, there is a long tradition of keeping these birds. As stated on one hawking site, falconry is “the noble sporting art of flying trained birds of prey.”

Noble or not, I have an issue with keeping birds captive. I had hoped that, in the center we would be visiting, these would be rescue birds.

They weren’t.

They …

6 Fears That Keep You Busy and How to Enjoy More of Your Life

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“All the mistakes I ever made in my life were when I wanted to say no, and said yes.” ~Moss Hart

Do you ever feel like you’re always too busy to truly enjoy life?

I know the feeling.

I work multiple jobs to care for my family and have many responsibilities at work and at home. My to-do list never seems to end, leaving precious little time for leisure and rest.

But here’s the funny thing: whenever I do have some downtime, my anxiety kicks in because I’m thinking about all the things I “should” do to help move my …

Put Down the Heavy Burden of Worrying

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“People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.” ~George Bernard Shaw

You could say I had a type. Most girls I’ve dated have had a few things in common. Historically, I’ve been attracted to dark-haired deep thinkers—old souls with just a tinge of sadness in their eyes. Emotional pain is a sign of character.

There is nothing like looking into a woman’s eyes and exploring decades (if not centuries) of wonder and worry hidden beneath a stoic, classic composure. There is an attractiveness to being slightly worn down by the road.

But Jane …

Keep Your Heart Open to Love When Life Knocks You Down

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“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.” ~Pema Chodron

I was nineteen weeks pregnant when my husband and I went for a routine ultrasound. We were to confirm that our child’s anatomy was as it should be, and we were to discover our child’s sex.

We were choosing names in the waiting room. We ran into the receptionist at the fertility clinic and exchanged hugs. We had graduated from the clinic. The tuition was expensive and the education detailed and grueling. But we were a …

10 Ways We Hide from the World & Why We Need to Be Seen

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“Don’t hide yourself. Stand up, keep your head high, and show them what you got!” ~Joe Mari Fadrigalan

Sometime in high school I started to disappear. If I think back to the source of my disappearance, it was probably in sixth grade, the year all of my girlfriends ostracized me from sleepovers, parties, and general friendliness.

I was resilient, made some new friends, and forgave the old, but I kind of stopped trusting people. And when you don’t trust people, you can’t be yourself around them. So I decided to disappear.

I remember becoming ghost-like. I remember it being a …

A Simple Way to Really See Each Other and Be Seen

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“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

Growing up, my family ate dinner together nearly every night. It was a given. My mom also created a tradition called “go around the table,” in which everyone in my family would take turns sharing the details of our day.

I often think back on this memory with awe at the impact this simple yet profound activity has had on my life.

While I do not yet have a family, I have introduced “go around the table” to friends at dinner parties …

How Emotional Pain Can Cause Us to Act “Crazy” in Relationships

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“We all exist in our own personal reality of craziness.” ~Alejandro Jodorowsky 

Most of us have heard stories of “crazy” women (and sometimes men) and psycho exes. They are our friends, boyfriends’ exes, family members, and sometimes they can even be us.

Often people (including ourselves) are quick to judge these people. We write them off as emotional wrecks. We label them. We shame them. It’s hard not to judge when we are not equipped with the tools to deal with behaviors we don’t understand.

It’s even harder to feel empathy when we experience suffocation and feel our boundaries …