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You Don’t Need to Fix the Past in Order to Have a New Future

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Note: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen! They are:

  • Dianna
  • Michael Maher
  • Kathleen B
  • Yusuf Stoptagginmeanyhow Sulei
  • Aparna

“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

My family recently drove from Michigan to North Carolina—twenty hours roundtrip. To entertain themselves, my five-year-old daughter Willow taught my three-year-old son Miller to play rock-paper-scissors in the backseat.

Miller learned the hand signals and got the overall concept pretty quickly, but he had a hard time with the fast speed of the game. Willow narrated, “Rock-paper-scissors
go! Okay, next round!” But Miller wanted to linger.…

Live Without Regrets: Lessons from a Near-Death Experience

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“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babbitt

My former life as a diamond dealer was not as glamorous as one would think. I wound up spending many months traversing barren lands and boarding rickety aircrafts. If you can imagine the life of Indiana Jones, it wasn’t all that different with the exception that no one was chasing me.

My travels customarily took me to the many diamond deposits laden throughout Africa. The majority of the “puddle jumper” planes I routinely flew on should’ve …

Hate Your Job? Change May Be Hard But It’s Worth It

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“It’s never the environment; it’s never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events—how we interpret them—that shapes who we are today and who we’ll become tomorrow.” ~Tony Robbins

How long are we going to put up with lifestyles that kill us before we decide to do something about it?

It’s no surprise to me that between 70-80% of American workers (depending on the source) dislike their jobs. I was part of that statistic until the disappointment got the better of me and I had no choice but to leave it all behind.

Things were …

Overcoming Shame When You Took a Risk and It Didn’t Work Out

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“Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don’t be sorry.” ~Jack Kerouac

There was no denying it. I had reached a dead-end. A year and a half spent living in a southern town that was simply too small for me; it was time to go. I needed a city, preferably a large one filled with numerous opportunities for a budding young writer.

Ironically, the very day it dawned on me that it was time to move to a metropolitan area, love summoned me. It shouted to me from thousands of miles away, beckoning me to change the course of my travels.

My …

6 Ways to Make Dating Less Frustrating

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“You are strong when you know your weaknesses. You are beautiful when you appreciate your flaws. You are wise when you learn from your mistakes.” ~Unknown

Social discovery apps and online dating sites provide us with an incredible amount of dating options. It should be easier to find the right person. Ironically, having more options has led to increased impatience and high expectations among those of us searching for love.

We disregard potential friends and mates at the blink of an eye, often trading them in for the illusory search for the ideal person. I’m guilty of falling into …

Why Dieting Never Works: 4 Reasons to Stop

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“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

Diets are extremely seductive.

We get lured in by the promises they make:

The temptation of a smaller jeans size.

The possibility of having a beach-ready body.

The idea that everything would be better if you just weighed ten (or fifteen, or twenty
) pounds less.

When you’ve overloaded yourself with sweets and feel horrible about your body, it’s easy to get sucked into attempting a diet as a quick-fix to your weight issues.

In my own life, I struggled with gaining and losing the same …

5 Ways to Feel Better in Your Body

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“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~Maya Angelou

We’re bombarded by advertisements that tell us if we’re thin, we’ll love ourselves. If we suddenly look a certain way, all our worries will vanish.

I’ve always been thin without really having to work at it—well, in my younger days at least.

Yes, I was skinny, but that didn’t mean I was happy. I was suffering from depression, had terrible skin, and just felt awful in my body.

Being a “perfect” size is not what will make you happy, because …

How to Be Your Own Hero When Faced With a Hopeless Challenge

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“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

Can you remember a time when you felt completely helpless?

I do. It was the day my daughter was diagnosed with a serious digestive illness. The doctor told us in the hospital chapel, and he acted like it was a death sentence. His one and only solution was to hand us sets of harsh prescriptions.

I was in shock, and I knew deep down that something just didn’t add up. Her symptoms hadn’t even been that severe, although she had lost a significant amount of weight. What …

Life’s Greatest Miracles Often Come Disguised as Hardship

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“Out of difficulties grow miracles.” ~Jean dela Bruyere

The image in my mind is vivid, like an old photograph etched into my brain, where every facet is clearly discernible.

It was a frigid, blustery December night, right before my son’s seventh birthday. The heating unit had gone on the blitz, and the house was so freezing it seemed as though ice crystals would form on the inside of our windows.

Grabbing as many blankets as possible, I wanted to envelope my son with covers, hoping he would feel safe and warm in the cocoon. Time for bed, I reassured him …

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome So You Can Thrive and Shine

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“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” ~Marianne Williamson

I’ve been dreaming about dead bodies again—disposing of dead bodies. Given that I have never actually killed anyone it’s probably a little weird how often this crops up for me. My dream metaphors tend to be blatant and graphic. I think my subconscious mind really wants me to pay attention to them.

I don’t have recurrent dreams per se, but I do get recurring dream themes. Lately my subconscious has been knocking me over the head with …

You Don’t Have to Appear Perfect: It’s Okay to Admit You’re Flawed

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“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” ~Sigmund Freud

If you’re anything like I was, you have an image of yourself that you want other people to adopt. You think people expect that of you or would like you better if that’s who you were, so you pretend to be that person.

Over time, you put on layers of protection to prevent people from seeing the imperfections that would undermine that perception. You refuse to admit to those imperfections. You may also blame others, the weather, or fate for any perceived failure—anything but yourself.

As a result, you can’t …

The Dangers of Being Too Busy and How to Restore Your Health and Sanity

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“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~Jim Rohn

Busy doesn’t adequately describe my life over the past few years. Let’s say it was a hurricane of a schedule, with extra storms and a tsunami thrown in. Looking back from my current safe vantage point, I’m not sure how I survived.

The Stress Of A Busy Schedule

In 2011 I was working full time for the civil service and working part time trying to start up my own business. Early in the year I had my son, who turned out to be a non-sleeper …

The Beauty of Uncertainty: Each Day is a Blank Canvas

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“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~Mark Twain

It occurred to me one day, while staring at my computer at work, that I have always been uncomfortable with the idea of having uncertainty in any area of my life.

I plan my schedule rigidly, including what social/extracurricular activities I’m going to do over the next week. I take very few risks, and when …

When Dreams Change: It’s Okay to Let Go and Move On

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“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” ~Daphne Rose Kingma

Growing up, we’re told to follow our heart and make our dreams come true. Granted, there are some naysayers who tell us we won’t ever be able to make it happen and maybe it would be better to think of an alternative. But the people who love us and want us to find happiness, they believe in us and encourage us to follow our dreams.

I have amazing parents, friends, and family who always believed in me, who always …

What We All Really Need When We’re Struggling

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“There are two ways of spreading light: be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” ~Edith Wharton

I tucked my boarding pass safely into my coat pocket, donned my eyeglasses, and searched for the overhead signs that would lead me to the correct gate. Thanksgiving would be here soon and the Orlando airport was bursting at the seams with travelers.

I turned the corner and jerked to a stop. Hundreds of people stood before me, bunched together in a space the size of a ballroom. I’d have to maneuver my way through them, I thought, to get to the …

10 Powerful Practices to Take Good Care of Yourself

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“You don’t pass or fail at being a person, dear.” ~Neil Gaiman

I discovered my spiritual path early. As a teenager I would read my mother’s self-help books. I spent most of my twenties actively pursuing self-development by studying, attending workshops, and going on retreats all over the world.

At the time, I thought I was searching for happiness and inner peace. I see now that I bought into a rigid idea of what a ‘spiritual person’ was and tried to live up to that.

My inner world was not happy or peaceful. The way I treated myself was far …

5 Emotions We Try to Numb with Food (and How to Stop)

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“If music be the food of love, play on.” ~William Shakespeare

This quote holds a very special place in my heart.

Growing up, I was always surrounded by classical music. My grandfather loved the arts, and the first song I ever sang was “Edelweiss” from The Sound of Music.

I remember recognizing what it felt like to have a big voice come out of a tiny body, how powerful and scary that was.

Years passed, along with plenty of practicing and an expanded repertoire, and I found myself going to college to study vocal performance. This was where the …

Stop Shaming Yourself If You Want to Start Losing Weight

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“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” ~Lucille Ball

As I sat on my bedroom floor almost in tears that night, surrounded by all the clothes I’d just tried on before a night out with my friends, the same thoughts replayed through my mind. You’re fat, you’re ugly, and you’re disgusting for letting yourself get this way.

I still cringe when I think about that, and the way I used to speak to (and about) myself. I would never think that of another person, let alone talk to them like that, yet it was second nature to say …

The Easy Path to Purpose: Forget “Should” and Do What You Love

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“Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.” ~Khalil Gibran

In my mid twenties I found out I had a mass on my pituitary. I was told it could be cancer, it could be benign, it could be a cyst—we wouldn’t know until my doctor performed a surgery to remove it. This surgery meant I could go blind, be on lifelong hormone replacement therapy, or even die.

I don’t want you to wait until something bad happens to dedicate time to things you love.

Countless people I meet …

You Can Make a Difference: 7 Ways to Create a Powerful Legacy

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“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babbitt

Recently I was searching for information online about a friend of mine who I lost touch with about a decade ago.

Pam and I went to psychology graduate school together in the early nineties and stayed in touch for a few years after that. But in those pre-Facebook days it was easy to lose touch with people, and Pam and I eventually drifted apart.

Curious about what my friend was up to, I typed her name …