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Category “change & challenges”

How to Change Your Life Without Doing Anything Big or Scary

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“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” ~Jim Rohn

We’re human.

Every single one of us participates in behavior that we know has a negative or adverse effect on our well-being.

We also know that at some point we are going to have to stop these negative behaviors, because ultimately, they create bigger problems for us. However, most of us choose to wait until something breaks before we decide to take any action toward fixing a problem.

I waited to change my diet.

I waited until things got really bad and I was forced…

When Something Has to Change: How to Push Yourself to Take Action

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“The truth you believe in and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” ~Pema Chodron

At some point, there comes a defining moment when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you just can’t keep living the way you’ve been living.

You know that something has got to give and realize that you only have two options—either change or stay the same.

The idea of having to choose either one of those options feels absolutely unbearable, so you find yourself trapped between the two, in this awful purgatory of indecision.

That’s exactly where I was trapped: …

How to Feel Your Feelings and What That Will Do for Your Life (Everything!)

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“You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” ~JK Rowling

Sometimes the last thing we want to do is feel our feelings. Because feeling can hurt.

Feeling can make you cry in the laundromat.

Feeling can make your face unattractively red in the frozen food aisle.

Feeling can make you think this whole being human racket is not the best way to spend your time.

If you’ve been stuffing your feelings back into your rib cage whenever they try to break for the light, this is especially true. I know, …

Think You Can’t Do It? Don’t Let Your Mind Limit or Define You

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“The limit is not in the sky. The limit is the mind.” ~Unknown

I was having a conversation with a friend. She was telling me how maybe I should quit my writing and focus on something that wasn’t so challenging for me; that I should accept my limits and work within those boundaries. Her words made me cringe.

You see, I am dyslexic and I struggled greatly to write this story down. I am probably going to read it twenty times and will still have many mistakes that need editing.

My job is a daily struggle, and sometimes I break …

Discover Your Emotional Age: Heal Yourself & Change Your Life (Interview & Book Giveaway)

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Update – The winners for this giveaway are:

  • Toni Nash
  • Katherine Poff

When I first discovered Crystal Andrus Morissette’s new book The Emotional Edge, I was intrigued. I knew the book would offer a process for discovering our “Emotional Age,” a term that was new to me, but I didn’t realize it would provide a powerful roadmap for healing the wounded parts of our psyche and growing into our most empowered, authentic self.

From the Amazon page:

The Emotional Edge empowers you to stop reacting in knee-jerk ways that hurt and instead start expanding your life to become the …

Why Someone Else’s Success Isn’t a Threat to Yours

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“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown

I got embarrassed at the gym.

I sat down at the bench press, ready to hoist up 135 pounds of iron. My goal was eight reps for the first set.

Before I started my first set, I heard someone huffing to my left. I looked over and saw a young guy benching 315 pounds!

I counted his reps, and he went all the way up to eight. It was the same number of repetitions that …

Limited Run “Be Here Now” Shirt Supporting Tiny Buddha Productions & Childhelp

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If this seems like deja vu, it’s not just you! I am republishing this blog post because there are only a few hours left to grab a “Be here now” shirt.

As you may remember, I shared a post a couple months back about my desire to start writing and producing inspiring short films, in partnership with my fiancé Ehren Prudhel.

It was just after the New Year, and I knew the time was finally right to revisit both of our childhood dreams.

Over the past couple of months we’ve been hard at work writing, connecting with crewmembers, and …

Falling Apart at Inconvenient Times: Why There Is No Shame in Public Pain

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“The major block to compassion is the judgment in our minds. Judgment is the mind’s primary tool of separation.” ~David R. Hamilton

On the evening of October 28, 2014, the phone rang. When I heard my stepmother’s voice, immediately, I thought, “This can’t be good.”

Last I had heard, my father was resting comfortably after routine surgery earlier that day. Now it was past midnight in North Carolina.

“Jill,” my stepmother implored, “please talk to the nurses. I have no idea what they are trying to tell me.” Sometimes we cannot listen to what we do not want to hear.…

How to Overcome Fear and Live Your Dream by Changing Your Brain

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“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” ~Les Brown

Fear used to be the driving force in my life.

I didn’t even know that I was living in fear at the time. I hid behind labels like “stress” and “anxiety,” but those are just clinical terms for fear.

Truthfully, my dreams terrified me because they seemed way too big to achieve. At the time, I wanted to excel in my new career, get into the best shape of my life, and create meaningful relationships—and I felt like I had a long way …

What Causes Panic Attacks and How to Stop Them for Good

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“You empower what you fight. You withdraw power from what you release.” ~Alan Cohen

Panic attacks can seem to come out of nowhere, without any warning. There is no obvious logical connection between a panic attack and what is happening around us at the time they arise.

Is it really possible to be free of them, without medication? In my personal experience, the answer is yes. I used cognitive, emotional, and physical methods that eradicated my panic attacks.

What Causes Panic Attacks?

The short version of my story is that I experienced a less than peaceful upbringing and had a …

What to Do When People Always Underestimate You

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“You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations.” ~Stevie Wonder

Being blatantly underestimated is simply a part of my life.

No matter what I’m doing, the ordinary will seem extraordinary, and the extraordinary will seem insurmountable to those who look at me for the first time. There is no way I am contributing the same amount to society as the rest of the world.

These are not drawn conclusions on my part; I have been told these very things straight to my face. People perceive me this way because of the white cane in my hand, the badge, letting …

Why Stress and Pressure Can Actually Be Good for Us

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“A diamond doesn’t start out polished and shining. It once was nothing special, but with enough pressure and time, becomes spectacular.” ~Solange Nicole

It’s one of the last days of summer, and I wake up to my mother screaming.

I’m ten, and I pull off the covers and sneak to my door. Opening it slowly, I peek out and look down the stairs.

Men have stormed into our house. Ignoring my mom, they head into the living room, pick up the sofa, and throw it out on the lawn. They do the same with the dinner table and the rest …

What’s Really Going on When Someone Seems “Too Sensitive”

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“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.” ~Cynthia Occelli

The whole time I was growing up, I was told, incessantly, that I was “too sensitive.” These words, when I first heard them, came from the mouth of the person I vowed I would never become.

And yet, as I grew up, these words didn’t stay within the darkness of my childhood home. They began to roll out of the mouths of kids …

7 Steps to Overcome Daily Despair and Start Living Again

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“If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” ~Maya Angelou

Have you ever felt really stuck? Like every day was a struggle to get through and you knew in your heart the next day would feel the same?

For the last seven years—since the crash of 2008—I’ve been redefining myself, and it’s been painful.

In 2009 I opened an Internet retail store, knowing nothing about retail, let alone the intricacies of the Internet.

After years of hard work and little to show for it, every day began to …

How to Help a Friend Through Grief

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“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ~Vicki Harrison

I’m no stranger to grief. When I was twenty-three I lost my mum, and then eight years later I lost my second daughter, Grace, when she was only one day old.

Soon after Grace died, my husband and I saw a grief counselor. He said something about other people’s reactions to grief that turned out to be one of the truest statements anyone has ever made to me.…

Pushing Yourself to Try When You’re Afraid of Failing

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“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” ~Beverly Sills

Before I became a teenager, I developed a characteristic and a disease that went hand-in-hand: I was a perfectionist, and I had an eating disorder.

While my perfectionism was helpful in succeeding at things such as school and sports, the same perfectionism helped to fuel a dangerous relationship with my own body.

Fortunately, I received treatment in high school, and I learned to handle my issues related to anorexia and bulimia in healthy ways. This process was neither easy nor simple, but …

The Keys to Finding Happiness After a Traumatic Childhood

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“It is never to late to have a happy childhood.” ~Tom Robbins

A few days ago, when my older brother and I were sorting through old family photos, we found a picture of us from when we were about five and six years old. We were smiling. Just two kids full of life with no idea of what was to come.

This was before the start of all the rage—before all the pain and an unfortunate series of events.

My childhood was rough. I know some people may wish to return to those young innocent years of playing outside …

A Science-Backed Habit That Can Change Your Life for the Better

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“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” ~Epictetus

When I lost my aunt to cancer three years ago, her death sat over me for months and acceptance didn’t begin until I had dinner with Kathy, one of my best friends.

Over noodles, I shared with Kathy all the things I wouldn’t be able to do with my aunt: the conversations we would never get to have, the places we wouldn’t get to go, the food we wouldn’t be able to eat, and the grand-nephews …

How to Cultivate Hope When the World Feels Dark and Scary

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“Everything you can imagine is real.” ~Pablo Picasso

The world is so broken. We are broken. We all need healing.

Recent events worldwide are terrifying and sad. This cold and dark time of year is a challenge for many.

Some of us feel every little thing. We feel everyone’s pain. We are empaths who care for every person, every animal, and the whole world.

Many of my loved ones and friends are like this. My partner’s father recalls that on a trip to a large city nearby (my partner was eight), they saw people living on the street and asking …

Why We Don’t Need to Try So Hard to Be Better

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“To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.” ~Unknown

I’ve always been an overachiever. In sixth grade, I spent weeks memorizing over five pages of the poem “Horatius at the Bridge” for extra credit, even though I already had an A in the class.

When I started therapy in my mid-twenties to deal with depression and panic attacks, I turned my overachieving tactics to self-improvement. I spent hours journaling, going to meetings, talking to mentors, reading books, and beating myself up when I fell into old habits.

I always worried: Was I doing it right? Was I …