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How Losing My Father Helped Me Become A Happier (and Better) Person

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“In every loss there is a gain, as in every gain there is a loss, and with each ending comes a new beginning.” ~Buddhist Proverb

Four years ago, on a typically cold and overcast day in upstate NY, I found myself scurrying around preparing for a two-week trip to Kenya and Tanzania, which left the next day.

My father, a strong and soft-spoken sixty-two year old, had aspired to experience the great plains and animals of east Africa since childhood, and was deeply proud that he was able to pay for me to accompany him on his bucket-list adventure.

Though …

It Could Always Be Worse: The Power of Gratitude and Perspective

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~Marcus Aurelius

So, yesterday wasn’t the best day. I backed up into my husband’s car in the dark, on my way to a meeting. I didn’t see it in the mirrors. It was dark. (Did I mention that?) Well, it left a healthy size dent in the front, and needless to say, the tension began.

I felt bad. I honestly didn’t see it. Whenever I put my car into reverse, the mirrors automatically adjust and seem …

7 Simple Ways to Give Back to the World When You Have Little Time or Money

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.” ~Maya Angelou

Being charitable is often seen as a zero sum game, giving away our time or money for the benefit of others. As uplifting as it may be to give to a cause you care about, most of us feel we lack the authority to truly make things happen.

I discovered the transformative power of helping others when I was eight years old. My friends and I had imaginations like other children, but in the …

Being Happy Doesn’t Mean That Everything Is Perfect

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~Unknown

We are all on a mission to be the best we can be, to be happy, to have the perfect house, family, partner, and job. To complete our to-do list, to complete out bucket list, to make our parents proud, to get promoted, earn more money, and be successful.

Life can often feel like a never-ending treadmill, going quickly in the wrong direction. As we run faster to try to progress down this path, the goal becomes more elusive.

Are we …

Limited Edition “Choose Peace” Shirt Supporting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

If this seems like deja vu, that’s because I first shared this post last week. I’m republishing it today because there’s one week left to grab a limited edition “Choose Peace” shirt.

A portion of the proceeds will go to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide.

People often take their lives when they’re struggling with a mental illness, and their stressors surpass their coping skills. Many people suffer in silence because they’re too afraid, embarrassed, or resigned to seek help.

AFSP funds research …

When Life Feels Hard and Unfair: 4 Lessons That Helped Me Cope

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” ~William James

Two years ago, I gave birth to my second daughter via a planned C-section at thirty-seven weeks.

My first daughter had been born via emergency C-section after seventeen hours of unmedicated labor. I had very much wanted a natural, intervention-free birth. Due to a number of issues, the surgery was so complicated that I was told it would be dangerous to ever go into labor, much less have a natural birth ever again.

Of course, this was devastating for me.

Still, I …

When You’re Hooked On an Abusive Partner and Scared to Walk Away

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We set the standard for how we want to be treated. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

I’ll be honest. I knew my ex was a screwed-up guy. My head told me that not long after we met. The alarm bells were screeching. Could I hear them? Of course! Did I listen to them? No. My heart told my head to sod off and I agreed.

Here was a charismatic, gorgeous man focusing all his attention on me. I was the only one in his universe. Fireworks that would rival Sydney’s New …

Conscious Breathing: A Simple Way to Heal Your Pain and Be Present

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I never gave much thought to my breath unless I was submerged under water for long periods without any.

Today I rely on it for more than the obvious function of keeping me alive.

Breathing has become my biggest tool and best friend.

It has become a foundation for living with conscious presence and awareness.

Breathing consciously has helped me overcome anxiety and has provided a gateway into peace.

The breath has helped me move through long buried emotions and trauma.…

3 Causes of Self-Doubt and How to Conquer It for Good

By in Blog

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown

Self-doubt and I are old friends. We go way back, to early childhood.

Now, if you ask me, I will honestly tell you that I had quite an idyllic childhood in a loving home.

My parents raised us—my brother and me—to trust in our abilities and aim for the stars. They held me when I failed or fell flat on my face, which I did quite often, encouraging me to stand up and keep walking again. And yes, self-doubt still made its way into …

5 Common Mistakes People Make on Their Spiritual Journey

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“I still have a long way to go, but I’m already so far from where I used to be, and I’m proud of that.” ~Unknown

Just like any student, I’ve made mistakes throughout my spiritual journey. Although I prefer to see mistakes as learning opportunities, below are a few things I’ve learned not to do through my years of meditation and detox weekends and constant effort to stay on the divine side of life.

1. Constantly looking for answers externally

When I started meditating regularly, I experienced heightened intuition. Triggered by this, I constantly tried to find signs to guide …

How to Break the Bad Habits That Hold You Back in Life

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success if found in your daily routine.” ~John C. Maxwell

We all have bad habits. The problem is that many of our habits are so deeply ingrained that we don’t even notice them anymore. If we do, we make excuses to hang onto them.

If you’ve tried to change your habits to no avail, maybe it’s time to try something different. The steps below will help you succeed.

1. Become aware of the status quo.

Does this sound familiar? You set your mind to …

How Your Ego Thrives on Fear and Keeps You Panicked

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“The ego is the false self—born out of fear and defensiveness.” ~John O’Donohue

“The soul is like a wild animal—tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy.” ~Parker Palmer

Does it sometimes seem like the world is just a little too much for you? Do you feel that you need to protect yourself from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? (Thank you, Hamlet.) Are you a fragile flower being buffeted by life’s storms?

Then I think you’ve been listening to your ego too much. I understand all of those feelings very well, but I’ve recently discovered something life-changing…

The First Steps Toward Creating a Life You Love

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“My goal is to build a life I don’t need a vacation from.” ~Rob Hill Sr.

The other day I had an interesting conversation with a friend, who asked me the question “Who is the happiest person you know?”

Ask yourself this question now. It’s difficult to answer, isn’t it?

There are certainly people around me who seem to be happy, but the happiest person I know? I couldn’t easily come up with an answer.

The conversation with my friend proceeded with him saying, “You seem happy, but it’s so easy for you; you live in Cornwall by the sea, …

How Gratitude Shifts Your Perspective When Things Go Wrong

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie

Yesterday, while praying in the Ganges River, my purse got stolen.

Standing in The Holy River Ganges, praying up to my neck in her healing waters, the outside world felt as if it had stopped.

The feeling of happiness to be back in Rishikesh was so strong it bordered on invincible. Instant immersion into the healing waters of Maa Ganga was the only …

Ask Why: How to Motivate Yourself to Keep Going When Things Get Hard

By in Blog, change & challenges

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

My father was an amazing man. I’m sure most sons think that about their fathers, but it’s a belief held by more than just myself. I’m not saying he was a great father, but he was a great man.

He was a Vietnam veteran, a carpenter, and a social paragon in the small town I grew up in. Our neighbors declared him the “Mayor of Bluebank” (the road he lived on.) His funeral was one of the most attended events that our small town in …

How Listening to Depression Can Help Us Overcome It

By in Blog, change & challenges

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.” ~Rumi

My first diagnosis of depression came at the age of fifteen. Depression runs in my family; it wasn’t a case of overmedicating. It was genuine, and the black dog has followed me all my life.

I’ve been on eight different antidepressants and a handful of anti-anxiety drugs. I’ve been in and out of therapist offices and hospitals for most of my life, and I expect that I’ll continue to do so.

My mindset (and that of my family and doctors) was that depression is an adversary to be defeated. If …

Love Is In the Little Things

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

Valentine’s Day has never been a big deal to me. It always felt commercialized, so forced. I’ve never felt I needed Hallmark to remind me to do something special for my husband, or vice versa.

This certainly isn’t a reflection of how we felt about, treated, or appreciated one another; it just wasn’t a priority to us.

In our more than seventeen years together, some years I would receive a card, flowers, or chocolates, but other years it would …

Your Anger is a Guide: Embrace It and Set Yourself Free

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Where there is anger there is always pain underneath.” ~Eckhart Tolle

In the sixth year of marriage, my husband shocked me by telling me that he had decided on an open marriage. This would give him permission to do what he was already doing, having an affair.

In one of my rare times of anger I argued and struggled with him. I can still see myself hitting him in the chest as he tried to put his arms around me to reassure me of his love.

As he defended his position, he reminded me that I wasn’t being rational. I …

East vs. West: Major Cultural Differences That Impact Our Happiness

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” ~John Milton

I’ve been living in Asia for over a year now, spending six months each in Nepal and Vietnam, with a bit of traveling around India and Sri Lanka in the middle. I wanted to put pen to paper on what strikes me as a few of the major cultural differences between the East and the West. I can see things that each side could do with a bit more of. But here I’m going to concentrate on what I’ve …

Healing from Childhood Abuse: Get Help and Take Your Life Back

By in Blog, change & challenges

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“No one loses their innocence. It is either taken or given away willingly.” ~Tiffany Madison

Childhood innocence. When I think of it I always picture a baby lying on their back, playing with their feet. They are laughing, cooing, smiling, and lost in a sense of wonder. Full of joy, love, curiosity, and awe. When you look at them you can’t help but smile, and their joy and laughter are infectious. At this moment, they are perfect.

Now have all that taken …