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How to Change a Life and Make the World a Kinder Place

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes

Have you ever been stressed and cranky and having a terrible day when someone was unexpectedly kind to you?

When this happens, it lifts your mood and changes your state of mind. You want to hold on to that feeling of goodwill. Maybe even pass it on.

Everyday Kindness

The Dalai Lama said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

It is always possible, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes acts of kindness for people in our lives can be more difficult …

Why It’s Okay to Be Self-Centered Sometimes

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”  ~Herman Melville

I grew up with a faith that encouraged personal sacrifice for others. Putting myself before others or desiring what they lacked was sinful. So there I was, during my teenage years, trying to be a saint, completely unselfish when thinking or interacting with others.

I must admit that I was always in the equation.

If I gave advice to others, I did it for them but also for the good feeling of improving their lives. If I helped someone else solve their math …

Reclaim Your Power: Stop Waiting for Other People to Make You Happy

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou

My knees hit the pavement, unable to hold me up as I watched my entire life purpose drive away.

I had put my entire heart and soul into that relationship. I had sacrificed everything—my family, my friends, my career, my hobbies. And now I had nothing. What had gone wrong?

I lay there for a while, quite convinced that the pain and unhappiness was going to be the end of me. I wallowed in the misery of it all.

Then something touched my face. I brushed it …

Dare to Stand Out: 3 Ways to Let Your Unique Self Shine

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown

I can remember many times in my life when I was afraid to stand out.

When listening to a lecture or panel discussion at school, I always had questions to ask, but the moment I finally raised my hand, my heart would start palpitating and gravity would force my arm down.

The same thing happened in business meetings. I struggled to articulate my ideas, although I was sure they could have brought some …

Why We Stay Busy When We’re Not and The Benefits of Doing Nothing

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.” ~Lao Tzu

How many times in a day do you tell yourself you are busy and have too much to do? In a week? In a month?

How many of those times are you actually busy doing “nothing”? You know the “nothing” that I am talking about—the nothing that means you are watching hours of mindless TV, roaming the internet, or playing a game that you can’t seem to tear yourself away from on your smartphone.

I’ve been there and done that, and I still do it sometimes. I know what …

Lessons from Hiking: 5 Ways to Live with Less Stress and More Joy

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“The experienced mountain climber is not intimidated by the mountain. He is inspired.” ~William Arthur Ward

I like to hike in the mountains. It is such an amazing relief from the day-to-day stress of my position as a healthcare executive.

Hiking settles my mind and puts the drama of my job aside. I am fifty-nine and have had my share of experiences, but I never feel more at peace and complete than I do on a trail in the mountains

I spent a week hiking with family in Maine this past summer. I was halfway through a certified coach training …

A Message for Anyone Who’s Been Abused and Has Kept It Inside

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

TRIGGER WARNING: This content deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~Maria Robinson

My uncle molested me from the time I was about four until I was in my early twenties. He held me too long and hugged me too tight. He would growl in my ear like an animal in heat, his warm, wet, often alcoholic smelling breath overwhelming me.

This is how he greeted me at every occasion. When I was really …

What All Great Relationships Have in Common

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years.

And before those ten years, we were college sweethearts and had been dating for over six.

When you know someone for that long, someone whom you are deeply and madly in love with, something funny happens:

Your collective thoughts, actions, and words become so tightly intertwined that you walk around believing you are one person.

As a result, you feel ten times taller. Like you can do anything. …

Think Like a 5-Year-Old to Start Living the Life of Your Dreams

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.” ~Unknown

A little over a year ago, my brother and I decided to write a book together. At the ages of nineteen and twenty-nine, this was a really scary thing for us.

Neither of us considered ourselves “good writers,” and we especially didn’t think highly enough of our writing to imagine that we’d ever write a book.

I made C’s on most of my papers in high school and college and, quite frankly, my confidence in my writing was pretty low.

Each time I tried to sit down and write even a two-to-five-page paper, …

33 Ways to Be Childlike Today

By in Blog, Featured, happiness & fun

“Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart.” ~Mencius

Remember when life was simple?

When your friends were the most important thing in the world. When a snow day was a perfect excuse to have fun, not a block of time when you felt guilty about being unproductive.

When the ice cream truck could make your day, no matter what happened before. Bad grade? Big deal—it’s snow cone time. Skinned knee—who cares, you have a screwball!

If only you could bottle that sense of freedom, fun, and enthusiasm for the little things, you could carry it …

The “If, Then” Trap: How It Keeps You Unhappy and How to Avoid It

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.” ~Chuang Tzu

Being an empty nester (the kids have grown up and left home), I noticed recently that I have fallen in love with little kids again.

After going through all the kid stages, and surviving them (most notably the teenage years), I took a long kid moratorium. Skiing, mountain biking, traveling, gardening, and reading—all filled to the brim with a commodity I had forgotten about: time just for me.

Now, unexpectedly, they’re back! Exhausting, enchanting, and a source of endless inspiration.

A few doors down to the west I have new …

10 Life-Changing Lessons I Wish I Learned Sooner

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” ~Albert Einstein

I recently turned thirty-eight.

Birthdays and new years always make me quite reflective and, for a long time, critical about my achievements—what I’ve done and what I have to show for it.

This time, though, there was finally a wonderful difference.

Over the past twelve months what’s mattered has been about the people I’ve met, the places I’ve seen, the experiences I’ve had, and the things I’ve discovered about myself—none of which have brought me anything physical to show for it.

I’ve learned character building life lessons, the kind …

When You Feel Down or Stuck: How to Effectively Be What You’re Not

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not eliminating our weaknesses.” ~Marilyn vos Savant

I often hear the words “be yourself.” I love those words, and I truly believe that everyone should strive to be the truest version of who they are. There’s nothing more attractive than a person who is just so utterly themselves, even when society tries to push them the other way.

Strong willed people are some of my favorite types. They can be righteous. They can be overly moral. However, they know what they want, they know who they are, and they know that nobody else …

Setting Emotional Boundaries: Stop Taking on Other People’s Feelings

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, letting go, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

The longer I stayed on the phone, the more agitated I became. My mother was on the other end, as usual, dumping her emotions on me. I had moved to Los Angeles for graduate school in part to escape all of this—my mother’s unhappiness, my sense of responsibility, the pressure to be perfect.

When I hung up the phone, I felt an overwhelming sense of anger. At the time, I could not (correction: would not) allow myself to admit that I was angry with my mother. I …

Are You Holding Yourself Back with a Story About the Past?

By in Blog, letting go

“The distinction between the past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” ~Albert Einstein 

One morning I woke up inexplicably sad. I sat on my bed trying to make sense of how I felt and what could be behind it. Intuitively, I grabbed one of the many books lying on my night table and opened it in a random place.

What I had in my hands was A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle, and the chapter was called “Breaking Free.”

Tolle explains how we tend to be unconsciously engaged in stories from the …

Owning Our Stories: Overcoming The Fears That Make Us Play Small

By in Blog

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brené Brown

It’s taken me a long time to figure out my story.

I kept thinking, “Nothing particularly dramatic has happened to me, so how can I have a story?”

Yet recently, after years of personal growth work, that’s shifted. I see the golden thread that weaves through my story and what that means for how I show up and what I bring to the world.

I now see that this whole thing about owning your story …

How Relationship Issues Can Lead to Growth (and Why It’s a Daily Process)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

Relationships are tough. Even more difficult is maintaining healthy boundaries within a relationship.

My head hurts and I feel like I’m going to throw up. Let me explain. I’m in a loving, healthy relationship with a beautiful woman, and I’m proud to call her my partner.

Great, so why do I feel like I want to throw up? Well, because last night was a tough night for us, for me, and today I have …

Life Isn’t a Race: Allow Yourself to Be Happy in the Present

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.”  ~Chuang Tzu

At an early age I learned that nothing in life is guaranteed. When I was eleven years old, a close friend and classmate lost his battle with cancer. After that, I had several more instances of losing loved ones, some expected, others not so much.

After having gone through so much loss at such an early age, my outlook on life was one word: rushed.

I wanted to get through college as fast as I could, while taking on as much as I could. I wanted to have …

Change Your Life by Changing Your Mind About Yourself

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

I’d had enough.

Once again, I’d sent follow-up emails to guys who had shown interest in my dating site profile. Once again, I’d included full-length photos with those emails, unlike the headshot that went along with my online profile.

And once again, days later, my inbox was a virtual ghost town.

Didn’t these guys know how much courage it took for me to set up a profile in the first place? I was twenty-six years old and been on fewer than a dozen dates in my life—including my …

5 Tips to Accept Your Imperfections, No Matter How Different You Feel

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“I follow four dictates: face it, accept it, deal with it, then let it go.” ~Sheng Yen

Growing up different isn’t easy for anyone.

I was born normal, happy, and healthy. I had five fingers and five toes. I reached all my developmental milestones and showed promise as a vivacious, energetic child. It all changed when I was ten months old.

I became violently ill with bacterial meningitis. I battled the infection with a strength I was naturally graced with at birth. One week into my hospital stay, I was finally able to lift my head; two weeks later, I …