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How Taking No Action Can Help You Change Your Life

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” ~Roman Price

For years and years I was in denial. I denied the obvious dysfunction in my marriage, and how terribly unhappy I was in it.

I told myself over and over that things would change and get better, that it wouldn’t be this way forever, and that I could find a way to be happy with how things were.

I had long given up hope that my spouse would change, but I have to admit, I joyfully splashed around …

The Truth About Failure: How Hitting Hurdles Makes You Successful

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“There are no failures. Just experiences and your reactions to them.” ~Tom Krause

I had spent years training for this race. This was the big one. If I won and made the qualifying time, I would go on to compete in the Canadian National Track and Field Championships.

I was burning to win. Only the winner of this race would qualify. Second place wouldn’t cut it.

Competing at the national level could lead to all kinds of opportunities: sponsorship, athletic scholarships, and a career in athletics.

My favorite form of self-torture was the 110-meter hurdles. I lived and breathed sprinting …

How to Start Dreaming Again When Others Have Discouraged You

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” ~Wolfgang von Goethe

I was one of the lucky few people that always knew what I wanted to do with my life when I was young.

Unfortunately, when the time came to pull the trigger and go full steam ahead toward my passion, I got talked out of the dream.

When I brought up what I wanted to do (Chinese Medicine) to people I knew, I saw them raise their eyebrows:

“Chinese medicine? How much will you make when you graduate …

5 Tips to Help You Stop Being a People Pleaser

By in Blog, love & relationships

“One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and it’s perfectly okay.” ~Unknown

I have a confession to make: I am a recovering people pleaser.

If I had a dollar for every time I did something that I didn’t want to do because I didn’t want people to be angry or disappointed if I said no, I would be a rich woman.

I say that I am recovering because, as with any ingrained pattern, sometimes I slip back into the tendency to put other …

What to Do When You’re Panicking Because You Can’t Make a Decision

By in Blog, change & challenges

“No one saves us but ourselves. We alone must walk the path.” ~Buddha

I got a frantic message from a friend last night.

Everything was going wrong—her job, her relationship, her life—and she didn’t know what to do.

“Help me, please,” she kept saying. “I don’t know what to do.”

I tried hard to stifle a giggle. I know, completely inappropriate. But I found it really funny.

Why? Because I’m the last person anyone should be asking for advice. If I knew what to do, if I knew how to help her, I’d have:

  1. implemented this a long time ago
…

The Magic of Momentum: A Simple Path to Achieving Any Goal

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” ~Confucius

What stops so many people from changing their lives is a lack of momentum. They feel daunted by the sheer size of the task ahead and so revert back to inertia. It’s so much easier to just trudge along and hope that one day it gets better.

I used to get up at 5.30 in the morning every Tuesday to attend a business networking breakfast. It was a severe shock to the system at first, and as I drove to the hotel where the event was held, …

Let Loss Remind You to Live

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Pain can change you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.” ~Unknown

Experiencing a death of someone, no matter how close you were to them, is a shock to the system.

One moment you’re just drinking your morning cup of Joe and then suddenly, you’ve collided with the uncertainty of existence.

Daily, we do everything we can to numb ourselves from our own fragility, but sudden death reminds us all that impermanence is still there under the surface, throbbing.

The other day, I logged onto Facebook and received …

How to Get Started with Meditation

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” ~Simone Weil

It’s so easy in our busy, results-driven world to lose track of ourselves in a drive to address the needs of others. What with your work performance demands, evening dinner preparation, the Facebook post from a friend that requires your response before the sender gets upset… Wow, I’m feeling overwhelmed just writing about it!

The world demands our constant attention, and we willingly give it. But what about attention to ourselves?

Underneath every hood is an engine, behind any piece of artwork is the artist, and beneath your ability …

Why You May Feel Crushed by Criticism (And What to Do About It)

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“If you keep your feathers well oiled the water of criticism will run off as from a duck’s back.” ~Ellen Swallow Richards

We all seek love, approval, and appreciation, don’t we? We sometimes obsess over what people think of us. When we receive feedback that seems less than favorable, we speculate for days about what it might mean.

Usually we attach the wrong meaning to it, and this drains our energy and might even cause us to withdraw and quit what we are doing.

Is there a way to avoid this? How can we keep our feathers well …

6 Ways to Free Yourself from Social Anxiety and Shyness

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Don’t hide yourself. Stand up, keep your head high, and show them what you got!” ~ Joe Mari Fadrigalan

Do you struggle with social anxiety or shyness?

Is this anxiety affecting multiple areas of your life?

Are you yearning to break free from feeling isolated?

Like many people, I was shy as a kid. But I wasn’t just shy—I was painfully shy. I would avoid social situations like the plague. And I barely spoke because I stuttered.

My shyness followed me well into adulthood. I stayed away from social situations, fearing the embarrassment of stumbling in my speech. …

Choose to Forgive and Grow from Your Pain, Because You Deserve to Be Happy

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson

“Are you really okay?” I lost count of how many times my immediate family and friends asked me this question.

My positive, light-hearted attitude seemed to be difficult for people to comprehend, but for me it was the only option and means for survival.

I remember the …

You Don’t Need Anyone’s Permission to Do What You Want to Do

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~Steve Jobs

Two weeks ago, I pulled a muscle in my back. It was really scary in the moment, and initially I thought I was much more badly hurt—though it ended up healing miraculously quickly, after a couple days of intense pain and a couple more of …

How a Pause Can Help You Say No and Avoid Regret

By in Blog, love & relationships

“No is a full sentence.” – Unknown

I like to help. I like to be kind. I like to join in.

Usually, these things happen as a result of saying yes. Generally it makes me feel good inside. Better about myself.

But what happens when helping, kindness, and joining in ends up being a burden with too many negative repercussions? Do we continue on the same path? Should we continue to say yes?

Throughout my life, I have had a good relationship with the word yes. Yes has led me to unexpected, beautiful, memorable experiences. Yes has brought …

How to Maintain Peace and Joy Despite Your Everyday Struggles

By in Blog, change & challenges

“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” ~Deepak Chopra

For years I allowed everyday struggles, like slight disturbances from schedule, to steal my happiness, peace, and energy. Whenever something disrupted my plan, I got negative and started complaining.

When I realized this, I began taking steps to accept the daily chaos. I shifted my focus to how I percieve my daily life and how I spend the twenty-four hours I get.

I started asking questions, like: Am I being positive? Am I spending my hours in a way that’s productive yet joyful?

And I began …

How to Heal from Buried Pain: You Must Go Through It

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” ~Robert Frost

When I was a child my friends and I often played a game called “Going on a Bear Hunt.” Each of the verses told of a different challenge, but offered the same advice—that you must go through it. One of the verses went like this:

“We’re goin’ on a bear hunt. We’re going to catch a big one. I’m not scared. What a beautiful day! Uh-uh! A cave! A narrow gloomy cave. We can’t go over it. …

When Your Mind Feels Like a Prison and You Zone Out to Escape

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“All the suffering, stress, and addiction comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I’m currently obsessed with Orange is the New Black. As a binge TV watcher, I find dramas at least three seasons long and watch them like a prisoner eating a box of contraband donuts. I’m glued to the iPad in every spare moment, while I cook, exercise, or eat.

Then it’s over. And all I have left are wasted hours and a tidal wave of guilt. I always make the same promise to myself—no more binge watching.

I punish …

What to Do When Things Go Wrong and You Feel Sorry for Yourself

By in Blog, change & challenges

“We can always choose to perceive things differently. We can focus on what’s wrong in our life, or we can focus on what’s right.” ~Marianne Williamson

I was down in the dumps the other day and was feeling sorry for myself.

For some reason everything was just off. You know when you have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? And you get easily irritated and extra sensitive with everything?

It all began the night before. I was expecting a call from a guy who I’ve been getting to know. He said he was going to call …

4 Personality Types: Discover and Balance Your Elemental Nature

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.” ~Lama Yeshe

Everyone has a personality. Unfortunately, though, most of us don’t understand the impulses that repetitively show up as our idiosyncrasies, better known as our ego.

If you are a sensitive type, you feel guilty for wanting to be alone; you’re sentimental and often quiet.

If you’re a thinker, you are indecisive, fickle, and starved for contact, needing someone to be around most of the time.

If you have a practical personality, money, work, and goals motivate you and give you identity.

And lastly, if …

How to Keep Your Spirits Up When You’re Bombarded With Negativity All Day

By in Blog, love & relationships

“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” ~Tony Robbins

Do you ever have to deal with negative people?

Do you ever have days where everybody seems to want to bark at you all day long?

Under those circumstances, you struggle to keep your spirits up, don’t you?

Well, I know the feeling—all too well, unfortunately.

Years ago, I worked in a collection department for an insurance company collecting the unpaid debts …

Lashing Out is Losing Control; Calmness Is Strength and Power

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power.” ~James Allen

I would like to share something personal with you. It’s the story of how I first glimpsed what true strength and power is and where they come from. I hope this story helps to further illuminate your journey through life.

I remember one day when I was in the back seat of my parents’ car. I was probably about thirteen years old. We were parked in a hotel driveway, waiting, though I can’t recall why.

After a few minutes, another car pulled up behind ours and the driver …