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Why We Might Feel Lonely and What to Do About It

“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.” ~Dorothy Day

Throughout my life it’s been really hard to admit when I’ve felt lonely.

I’ve been through intense periods where I have been without others.

I’ve been surrounded by people yet have felt no real connections.

The people I have loved have been physically or emotionally absent.

I’ve simply been alone over weekends, over weeks, over months, over years, and it has been grueling and horrible.

I found I had to monitor how much I shared …

4 Secrets to Falling in Love Every Day

“It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.” ~John Bulwer

I am very fortunate to have come from a loving family. My family members have a wide range of personalities, and even though they’re all very opinionated, they are not judgmental in the least.

Growing up around these amazing people allowed me to recognize that superficial differences don’t matter much when people share a profound love.

Regardless of whether you’ve experienced this type of bond, you’re probably familiar with the benefits of love.

Love acts as a buffer against stress and helps you avoid being overcome by …

Improve Your Communication: How to Address Big Issues in Your Relationship

“Communication works for those who work at it.” ~John Powell

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years now. He’s a great guy. We get along well, we complement each other, and we have a lot of fun when we’re together.

Still, despite our mutual desire for a great relationship, we occasionally run into roadblocks, otherwise known as growth points.

Recently we’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch while revisiting unresolved dramas. What enables us to handle these dramas well is our willingness to show up and communicate.

Through our three years together, I’ve learned a few …

How to Smile More Every Day (Even if Life Isn’t Perfect)

 “A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose.” ~Tom Wilson

I smile a lot.

In fact, yesterday I smiled eighty-seven times (I counted).

These aren’t fake smiles. They’re big, toothy, open-mouthed grins. And they’ve become a regular feature of my everyday life because I’ve been overcome with an immense happiness.

Everything I see, touch, breathe, and taste brings me delight.

It’s totally spontaneous and outrageously fun, and I want to share with you how it’s done.

What I Smile At

It could be the subtle texture of construction grating.

It could be the way a flower pops out …

3 Ways to Slow Down and Take Better Care of Yourself

“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

It’s interesting how easily we forget to appreciate the simple day-to-day luxuries that we are granted with our body.

We assume that as we exhale, there will always be an inhalation to follow.

We assume that when we lay our head down on our pillow at night, our heart will beat, our blood will flow, and we will open our eyes in the morning.

We go on day after day, running around with a mile-long to-do list without taking a moment to check in with …

9 Tips To Tame Your Temper: Anger Management Made Easy

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” ~Mark Twain

I am in serious danger, and I think you might be too.

I am in danger of becoming a grumpy old person. I get angry easily. I operate on a short fuse, ready to snap or explode at the littlest thing.

I could blame it on a combination of genetics and environment. My father seems to have only two moods, and one of them is angry.

He is like a volcano and can …

That Person Who Irritates You Could Be Your Greatest Teacher

“The teacher you need is the person you’re living with.” ~Byron Katie 

On the bus home from Disney World, my best friend sputtered, “Angela, you are such a huge control freak!”

First, I went into an angry rage. I accused her, “How dare you call me a control freak! I planned this whole trip.”

Next, I resorted to pouting and pointing my finger at her, listing every possible way she was the control freak.

I was in complete victim mode. Classic, right? Little did I know that this incident would be an important self-growth tool for me.

She returned …

A Life-Changing Guide for Emotionally Sensitive People (and a Giveaway!)


Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen:

You’re too sensitive. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. Why are you letting that bother you? Why can’t you just let it go? Really, you’re crying? What’s wrong with you? 

If you’re an emotionally sensitive person, like me, you may have heard some of these phrases throughout your life. And, like me, you may have concluded that your emotions made you tragically flawed.

For the longest time, I felt a deep sense of shame about my sensitivity. And I found it difficult to deal with …

6 Ways to Deal with Critical, Judgmental People

“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” ~Unknown

We all have people in our lives who unintentionally hurt us. Their words may sound harsh. We may feel judged. And they may question our choices so much that we feel emotionally unsafe around them.

People can make comments about our career choice, living situation, life partner (or lack of), child-rearing decisions, and hobbies—and often when we didn’t ask for their opinion or advice.

Oftentimes, the healthiest choice is to stay away from these …

You Are Broken, Let Me Fix You

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” ~Sven Goran Erikkson

Let me fix you.

You really should try not to be so sensitive, Leah. The world is sometimes a difficult and upsetting place, but you shouldn’t let it affect you so much.

Let me fix you.

You know, you really ought to spend more time with people, Leah. It’s not good for you to be alone so much.

Let me fix you.

You know, you really shouldn’t make such quick, spur-of-the-moment decisions, Leah. It’s not good to do that in life and you’ll end …

Reclaim the Forgotten State of Wonder to Live an Extraordinary Life

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~Albert Einstein

For years, I walked as if I were asleep.

Autopilot steered me along the familiar paths between home and work and shopping centers and the gym. Paths I traveled so many times with my mind somewhere in the future or somewhere in the past, that everything around me passed like ghosts: present, unseen.

Sometimes, in a moment between waking and sleeping, I glimpsed marshmallow clouds, a burnt sunset, the bruised hills, the …

If You Want to Be Happy, Do This First

“When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.” ~Paulo Coelho

Someone once asked me if I was happy.

The question confused me because it didn’t really seem like something I had a choice in.

I had two parents and wonderful siblings who loved me deeply. I was smart, a good friend, and had opportunities many people throughout the world didn’t have. I never worried about being hungry or safe. What else was there?

Unfortunately, growing up semi-privileged doesn’t prevent us from developing fears and insecurities.

Though there was laughter

3 Courageous Choices That Make Us Better, Happier People

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

My daughter is the most courageous person I know. She’s two years old and fierce.

So often we think courage looks like a warrior, soldier, or athlete.

But I think we have it all wrong. Courage has a soft side that we have ignored for centuries.

Take my daughter for instance. The other day she was running full speed ahead at the playground. She was so focused on getting to her favorite slide that she …

Letting Go of Difficult Emotions eBook (Name Your Own Price!)

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

Growing up, I often felt emotionally overwhelmed, causing others to call me “too sensitive.”

It was very clear to me from a young age that emotion was a sign of weakness, but try as I may, I couldn’t escape mine.

I believed there was something wrong with me for feeling so deeply—that I was fundamentally bad because of it—then I felt bad about my inability to change.…

Create Lasting Habits: The 4 Psychological Triggers That Catalyze Change

“Things do not change; we change.” ~Henry David Thoreau

The world knows no joy like an evangelist with an opening. My eyes lit up as I jumped into my sermon on the incredible power of lifestyle change.

The year previous I had decided it was time to take charge of my health, and I had made some big changes.

I transitioned to a whole food diet, put plants at the center of my plate, started meditating regularly, and began attending yoga classes multiple times a week.

I was absolutely astounded at how the synergy of these three lifestyle changes completely …

It’s Okay to Need a Little Help

“Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.” ~Unknown

It’s 2004, and I awake in a student college in Melbourne, Australia. This comes as no surprise, because, at the time, I lived there.

I groggily stagger to the shared bathroom on my floor, to perform my morning washing routine. There’s nothing unusual about my lavatory procedure, so I’ll omit the details, for all of our benefits.

So far, so good. Already I’m full of optimism for today.

As I wash my hands, I glimpse myself in the …

Lessons from Almost Dying: How to Appreciate the Everyday Awesome

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” ~Bill Watterson

“Rare as hell.” That’s how my doctor described my leukemia.

The cancer had gotten real aggressive, real quick, and I’d need some heavy-duty chemo and a risky bone marrow transplant if I had any chance of surviving. How good a chance? “Forty to fifty percent,” said my doctor.

Oof.

As an otherwise healthy twenty-seven-year-old, cancer had been the furthest thing from my mind. Now, every waking thought was consumed by it. But I wasn’t ready to die. …

The Art of Pain: Why the Dark Times Make Life Beautiful

“In each of us lie good and bad, light and dark, art and pain, choice and regret, cruelty and sacrifice… No one can live in the light all the time.” ~Libba Bray

Happiness, and the quest for it, is not all it’s cracked up to be. What I mean is that I think we’re making a mistake in reaching only for happiness, lightness, good days, and good moods.

I think that we’re restricting ourselves.

We’re fishing in an ocean of emotions, looking to only reel in one or two kinds, throwing back the ones we don’t want without even noticing …

Pearls of Puppy Wisdom: 7 Lessons from a Furry Little Sage

“Buy a pup and your money will buy love unflinching.” ~Rudyard Kipling

I didn’t even want a puppy really. Puppies are synonymous with poop and pee. Everywhere. At least until they’re trained, and that takes time.

Of course, they’re also synonymous with love and affection, puppy breath, and lots and lots of wet kisses. (I’ve learned to keep a towel handy around my little Bella.)

Certain things I sort of expected when we got our little girl.

I expected to lose some sleep for a bit.

I was prepared to sacrifice the cleanliness of our home for a while. (Puppies …

The Power of Presence : A Few Simple Ways to Enjoy Life More Now

“All that is important is this one moment in movement. Make the moment important, vital, and worth living. Do not let it slip away unnoticed and unused.” ~Martha Graham

I am someone who is always focusing on the next step rather than the step I am currently taking. I am always longing for the next thing in life.

Looking forward to the future isn’t a bad thing, but when it consumes 90% of your daily thoughts, it becomes a bit exhausting.

My energy has always been restless. I get bored easily, crave change constantly, and yearn for immediate fulfillment. At …