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5 Fear-Based Decisions that Limit Our Potential

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself . . .” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

You’ve heard that quote more times than you can count.

You’ve also made fear-based decisions; we all have.

Looking back, you can point to times it has happened and caused you to fall short of what you could have achieved.

It has certainly has happened to me.

I was three years into my first career as a high school science teacher. I had always wanted to live abroad, specifically Mexico, and I had always wanted to learn Spanish (after taking an embarrassing amount in …

Overcoming Family Rejection & Finding Strength in Pain

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I don’t like being too looked up at or too looked down on. I prefer meeting in the middle to being worshipped or spat out.” ~Joni Mitchell

Growing up, there were two sides of the kitchen table. On side A, there was my lieutenant colonel of the US Army, hardcore conservative, Wall Street trader of a father who used the word “faggot” while passing the salt.

On side B, there was little ole me, who was pretty sure that I was that word my father so vehemently used.

I thought Barbies were a fun toy (Malibu Barbie was my favorite, …

3 Lessons That Help Me Overcome Anxiety and Depression

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” ~Maya Angelou

I’ve suffered from anxiety and recurrent major depression for more than twenty years. Over that time, I’ve learned a number of lessons about living life and dealing with these diseases.

Two equally meaningful and powerful days from that time stand out to me.

My wedding day, fifteen years ago now, was a happy day when I was more confident and sure about what I was doing than any other.

The day that rivals my wedding day in terms of my …

5 Priceless Gifts You Deserve to Give Yourself

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is a little bit of your own attention.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

The other day, when I was out celebrating a friend’s birthday, someone asked about the best gift I’d ever received.

What came to mind was getting my parents’ hand-me-down Corolla when I was sixteen. It was my first taste of being all ‘grown-up.’ I felt like my parents trusted me enough to give me the keys to go out on my own. It gave me a sense of pride and freedom.

Aside from that, nothing else that was tangible came to mind. …

How to Prioritize, Pursue Goals, and Focus When You Have Many Interests

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“A man who limits his interests, limits his life.” ~Vincent Price

I can’t stay still.

As a kid, I ran around, misbehaving, climbing everywhere—I was a nightmare for my parents, teachers, and anyone who had to take care of me. One year, my behavior assessment report at school stated: “Leaves a lot to be desired.”

Through my teenage years, I suddenly quieted down. But my mind didn’t go silent; it still boils inside.

I crave stimuli. Any time I have a couple of minutes on my own, while waiting in the car or in a queue, for example, I take …

How to Make Life’s Challenges Count for Something Good

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~Anais Nin

Many people have told me that I am a brave person. Mostly though, I think I just play the cards I’m dealt.

When I was twenty-one years old, I had a stroke. In a single moment, everything I had ever taken for granted about my health and about my youth flew right out the window. I felt truly vulnerable for the first time in my young life and it scared the bejesus out of me.

Following a full recovery, that fear quickly turned into intense bitterness and anger that …

What It Really Means to Be Happy

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life.” ~Mandy Hale

Everyone wants to be happy, but not many people contemplate whether or not they really are.

Some of us feel too privileged to not be happy, while others don’t want to face the possibility that we might not be. Here are nine truths about happiness to help you think a little more deeply about what it really means.

1. It isn’t a feeling; it’s a relationship to life.

To be human means that we experience a range of emotions. If you were to …

Learn To Flourish When You Are Not In Control

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~Steve Maraboli

On December 31, 2011 I experienced something I will never be able to blink away. I watched as my twelve-year-old daughter convulsed, turned blue, and stopped breathing on the floor of our living room.

Time stood still. I heard my blood whoosh through my ears. I became a helpless observer. This simply couldn’t be happening to us; she was fine only a moment ago.

I remember the exact moment when I …

5 Essential Practices to Enjoy a Stress-Free Life

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Stress happens when your mind resists what is.” ~Dan Millman

A troubling thought, isn’t it? That most of us are too stressed out to even sleep through the night. You try to relax and decompress after a stressful day, but all you do is fight with your frustrations and worries all through the night.

As much as we’d like to, it’s hard to let go of nerve-racking tension. We get caught up in the notion that the world will stop turning if we don’t play our integral part. I know what a burden stress can be.

When I graduated from …

Turn Your Envy into Inspiration and Cultivate Your Own Joy

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.” ~Harold Coffin

What happens when your neighbor upgrades to a mansion leaving your house in its shadow?

What do you do when your friend’s business is expanding while you’re living paycheck to paycheck?

How do you view the blissful couple next-door, seemingly in a never-ending honeymoon phase, while the strife in your household could be cut with a knife?

Although we are each walking our own journey, as social creatures we tend to compare ourselves to others.  This habit may start in the classroom at a …

5 Lessons on Living a Happy Life from Hiking in the Himalayas

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.” ~Horace Friess

This year I felt a calling to explore the beauty of nature in a different way. I enrolled in a program where I would be hiking in the Himalayas.

I would be living in camps and guest houses, away from any communication or technology, and even away from almost all people. I would not have a shower or “standard” toilets, and I would experience a different lifestyle for some time where very limited resources are available.

My heart is full of gratitude for what I experienced during …

Are You Settling for Less Than You Deserve in Your Relationship?

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” ~Alexander Graham Bell

It was around six years ago that I faced the moment of truth. I was sitting on my meditation pillow, having spent the last few moments in deep contemplation about my current state of affairs. I was satisfied with practically every area of my life except for the one that meant the most to me—my love life.

About five months prior, my relationship with my boyfriend …

How to Hold a Broken Heart (So You Can Get Through It)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Sometimes this broken heart gives birth to anxiety and panic, sometimes to anger, resentment, and blame. But under the hardness of that armor there is the tenderness of genuine sadness …This continual ache of the heart is a blessing that when accepted fully can be shared with all.” ~Pema Chodron

I remember a few years ago when I was going through a bad break-up. It wasn’t the longest relationship of my life or even the deepest. But it had so much potential and it ended in the most cursory of ways.

Already a few drinks deep, I FaceTimed …

An Ode to Solitude: The Beauty of Just Sitting

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Meditation makes you realize it’s not so much the silence as it is the not being around people that’s so profound. No human interaction, a human break if you will, is its own simple kind of joy.

Who knew that as a species who can’t function without the social ties of community, it is solitude that re-charges us and gives us the strength to go out into the big, bad world and interact with that lovely mess I like to call humanity?

In our hyper connected, …

How to Start Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Your Needs

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” ~Tony Gaskins

I highly value being loyal, honest, empathetic, and supportive. I am also partial to advocating for the underdog. As a result, I have historically attempted to be a ‘hero’ in situations of difficulty, tension, conflict, or stress.

I take pride in being the person who others can turn to for support, guidance, and empathy after an upsetting experience.

When a friend was going through a troublesome period, I literally dropped everything to race to her and give her a hand. …

How to Regain Confidence After Someone Puts You Down

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou 

Have you ever been the recipient of put-downs, snide remarks, or hostile language?

If you have, your confidence may have suffered a significant nosedive.

I once attended a summer music camp for young musicians. I was studying the piano and enjoyed playing classical music, but I always had a deep fear of performing in front of others, especially other highly skilled musicians.

Desiring to overcome this crippling fear, I decided to audition for an upcoming recital. To my surprise, the audition went smoothly, and I qualified to …

Stop Looking for Signs and Trust Yourself

By in Blog, letting go

“Always try to remember that most of the things that happen in this world aren’t signs. They happen because they happen, and their only real significance lies in normal cause and effect. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you start trying to pry the meaning out of every gust of wind or rainsquall. I’m not denying that there might actually be a few signs that you won’t want to miss. Knowing the difference is the tricky part.” ~David Eddings

A few years ago I took the Buddhist precepts at a Zen monastery in northern California. At the end of the ceremony …

The Surprising Secret to Loving Your Body and Yourself

By in Blog, healthy habits

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay

Years ago, I had this friend. She was gorgeous and fit—and she ate whatever she wanted. A burger with the bread. A burrito, if she wanted it. She even ate (gasp!) pizza whenever she felt like it.

I was in awe.

How did she do it?

How was this possible?

What was her secret?

You see, I never allowed myself any of those things. I used to think that being happy and feeling good in your body …

3 Steps to Making an Intimate Relationship Work

By in Blog, love & relationships

“True closeness respects each other’s space.” ~Angelica Hopes

It was a Friday, the workweek had ended, and I was excited for my boyfriend to come home. (Okay, I’m talking about an ex-boyfriend—these steps took me time to implement…)

I’d gone grocery shopping and had two steaks to grill, with asparagus and a bottle of wine chilled.

I heard the garage door and the dog ran to meet him. I knew he would drop his briefcase and come to the kitchen to give me a hug. Then, he would take off his shoes and find the couch to decompress for …

A Simple Trick to Feel Less Anxious and More Confident

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety.” ~Plato

A few weeks ago, I was standing in front of a mirror in the women’s bathroom at work.

I could feel the cold sweat down my spine and was angry for not being able to gain a better control of myself. I attempted everything in the book—took deep breaths, closed my eyes, tried to calm down, counted slowly to fifty.

No change.

My anxiety was still running high, my pulse was rushing, and I looked as a frightened little bird trapped in a cage. The occasion? An …