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Are You Being Too Supportive? (Yes, There is Such a Thing)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We cripple people who are capable of walking because we choose to carry them.” ~Christie Williams

Years ago, I had a dear friend who needed a lot of support for various reasons. She was working hard to find her way out of a dark period. She had suffered traumas and tragedies—things I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Her life really did resemble a roller coaster ride. It was heartbreaking to watch her struggle, exciting when things would be on the upswing, and upsetting again when things would spiral downhill.

Because I had known her almost my whole life and because I …

Why Strong, Brave People Aren’t Afraid to Quit

By in Blog, letting go

“Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong—sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

Throughout my life I’ve quit many things.

I quit a reasonably ‘sexy’ job title and steady paycheck.

I quit a six-year relationship with an essentially giving and loving person.

I quit being a yoga teacher after investing heavily in getting qualified.

I’ve quit many courses halfway through like calligraphy (of all things), ‘life design map’ courses, and online courses for all sorts of random things.

I quit therapy once, before they told me we were ‘done.’

I’ve quit several crappy part-time jobs when I first started …

When You’ve Lost Your Job: How to Start Moving Forward

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“If you can’t fly then run. If you can’t run then walk. If you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

For five years, I worked for an incredible little company that makes creative products for creative people.

I first joined the company as the marketing director and over time, moved into a top executive role. It was a wonderful adventure with passionate people and incredible learnings, challenges, and joys. And then it wasn’t. I was laid off.

Suddenly I, among other top executives, managers, and team members, found …

How Technology Makes It Easy to Flake Out (And How to Stop It)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” ~Unknown

How many times have you made plans with friends, only to receive the dreaded, “Sorry, need to reschedule” text just minutes before you were meant to meet?

Is it any wonder that you get tired of trying, that you struggle to feel secure in relationships?

But before we get carried away castigating others, let’s take a look at ourselves. We hate it when other people bail at the last minute, but do we do it too?

As humans, we have an astonishing …

How I Used My Phone as a Crutch and What I Know Now

By in Blog, love & relationships

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” ~Joseph F Newton

Can you imagine your life without a cell phone?

It’s hard, right?

For most of us, we use our phones every day, whether it’s for talking with others, looking up information, or entertaining ourselves during those lulls in the day.

A short while back, my phone contract expired and I was left without a cell phone. It felt strange at first, since my phone was something that was beside me almost every second of the day.

But a thought came up: What would my life be like …

You Are Worthy Regardless of What You Achieve

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” ~Albert Einstein

I am pathetic. I am a walking, talking clichĂ© (well, maybe not walking—I use an electric wheelchair).

I am one of those people who is so desperate to overcome their own sense of lack that they create some giant obstacle to overcome, or some massive achievement to attain, in order to feel that they might just be worth something.

I am an over-compensator, so desperate to feel okay about the fact that I am, in some ways, not as capable as …

Freedom Is Knowing We Don’t Need to Be the Best

By in Blog, letting go

“Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called ‘Ego.’” ~Frierich Nietzsche

At a young age, the bar for the rest of my life was set very high. I was a natural at anything I tried to do, and I was lucky enough to have my friends and family support me in just about every venture, so I became incredibly confident in my abilities and hopeful that life would always be easy and painless.

Eventually, I solidified the expectation for myself to always be number one because that is what my identity was based upon.

To give you a …

How to Move On: What It Really Means to Let Go

By in Blog, letting go

“Don’t let the darkness from your past block the light of joy in your present. What happened is done. Stop giving time to things which no longer exist, when there is so much joy to be found here and now.” ~Karen Salmansohn

If you are lucky enough to spend time in mindful communities you will hear the phrase “letting go” used frequently. The practice of letting go is used to support our acceptance of the way things are, and I believe it’s a cornerstone of creating a happy, full life.

But what happens when you’re being asked to let go…

How to Stop Blaming Your Parents for Messing Up Your Life

By in Blog, letting go

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

I was nineteen when it happened.

Legally an adult, but in no way equipped with what I was expected to deal with.

As I found myself agreeing to a marriage arranged by my mum, my thoughts turned to my dad.

We had buried him two days prior. He’d suffered a lot before he died. I wondered what he’d make of all this.

What followed my agreement was nothing short of a whirlwind, but not the romantic whirlwind that’s often associated with marriage.…

Something Good Can Come from Pain and Struggle

By in Blog, change & challenges

“How thankful I am today, to know that all my past struggles were necessary for me to be where I am now.” ~Unknown

Ten years ago when I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, my first thought was “Why me?” and it was this thought that followed me throughout my journey. It wasn’t until I was well enough to look back that I realized how much of my life was shaped by my anorexia. But not in a bad way.

Today, I am thankful for the struggles I endured, for the deepest lows I dragged myself through, and all the places …

3 Things to Remember When Facing Emotional Pain

By in Blog, change & challenges

“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us—how we can take it, what we do with it—and that is what really counts in the end.” ~Joseph Fort Newton

Life is messy. Sometimes it’s so beautiful that I feel blinded by the glory I have the privilege of bearing witness to. Other times, I have felt such deep despair that I thought my tears would never end.

Unfortunately, my husband and I endured the deepest despair we could possibly imagine immediately following what should have been our …

A Simple Sentence That Helps When You Feel Overwhelmed

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Days after the initial divorce from my ex-partner, I wanted to meet two very close friends in the city. I knew they would be loving and supportive and that the experience would be good for me. But I was so grief stricken and overwhelmed with emotion that even leaving the house felt like a monumental effort.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, picturing all the steps it would take me from where I was now to where they were seemed insurmountable. Normally, I would have jumped in …

12 Ways to Turn Your Crippling Stress into Happiness

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.” ~Roy Bennett

You are a slave to stress.

I can relate. Stress crushed my life and dreams.

I started a business and faced intense criticism over this decision.

Everyone was sure I’d fail. My friends and family attacked me while I was combating my own self-doubt.

My stress level was insanely high.

Then the worst happened. My business failed and I lost all my savings. I was crushed.

It took a long time to finally accept this failure.

Today, whenever I work, stress still …

The Introvert’s Brain: Why They Might “Think Too Much”

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Only those who care about you can hear when you are quiet.” ~Unknown

I find it difficult to be understood. I seem to frequently create complexity out of something that is perhaps very simple and straightforward to others.

For example, going to a movie. For many people, it would be “choose a movie, choose a time, choose a cinema” and there you go.

For me, I check movie reviews, all possible timings, in all possible cinemas. For each timing and location, I will consider if the timing allows other things to be done before and after the movie, and whether …

The Zen of Coloring: 7 Lessons on Living a Happy, Mindful Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“The hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can imagine.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ve been into mindfulness for a long time but having never been much of an artist, the mindfulness coloring craze had bypassed me until recently.

I brought a book and some colored pencils to keep me amused during a recent train trip but enjoyed it so much I’ve continued the habit—and to my surprise, the work I’ve done looks quite good!

I’d heard that mindful coloring is good for reducing stress levels and being more present, but I found even more benefits. For example, …

Look for the Good and You Will Find It

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” ~John Lubbock

Have you ever noticed how as human beings, we tend to go negative?

Looking out into the world, we see the crumpled fast food bag in the street and the torn curtain in the window.

Looking into the mirror, we see the pores and dark circles under our eyes. We see the freckles and miss the dimple, or we hate the dimple and miss the smile.

Our eyes focus in on what’s wrong.

I’ve noticed it’s hard to undo this tendency in myself, though sometimes the veil drops …

You Don’t Need to Do Big Things to Change the World

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” ~Mother Teresa

Life is complicated. The world’s problems are extremely complex. But what if you could help solve the world’s problems? What if you were a world changer?

Seems rather daunting, doesn’t it? Me? Change the world?! I used to feel like an ostrich, burying my head in the sand and trying to ignore all the hurt and evil in the world, because I felt helpless, like there wasn’t anything I could do.

I didn’t always feel that way though. There was a time when I felt I …

Dealing with “Haters”: How to Rise Above the Negative

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The final proof of greatness lies in being about to endure criticism without resentment.” ~Elbert Hubbard

A splash of tequila to the unsuspecting open eyes is a brutal way to learn that someone has a problem with you.

My brother’s girlfriend was drunk at the time, and laughing so hard at the sting of my agony that she had a bathroom accident. I hadn’t provoked her in any way. It was just one of those things that make you wonder.

Later I would come to find out how much she secretly detested my academic success.

I didn’t understand it at …

The Pain Won’t Go Away Until We Learn the Lesson

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron

Wounds I thought were healed began to burst open after a recent breakup. I had obviously not learned the lessons I was meant to years ago.

As a child I put 100% effort into everything I did, from schoolwork and swimming training to leadership positions. I remember feeling so sure of myself.

I drew my confidence from many areas of my life. A good student, swimming champion, school captain
 I had my life sorted. Although the swimming accolades and A’s on my report …

How to Leave a Toxic Relationship When You’re Still in Love

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ~Marilyn Monroe

Why does it have to hurt so badly?

You’re so in love, but your relationship has become toxic. It simply can’t continue.

Night after sleepless night, you lie awake replaying the fights in your head.

You can’t understand why your partner won’t change or how they can simply ignore how you feel. You wonder if they ever truly loved you.

You’ve tried everything to save your relationship, but nothing’s worked. You know it’s time to end it, yet the thought of being alone petrifies you.

But …