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Posts by Allison Briggs

Allison Jeanette Briggs is a therapist, writer, and speaker specializing in helping women heal from codependency, childhood trauma, and emotional neglect. She blends psychological insight with spiritual depth to guide clients and readers toward self-trust, boundaries, and authentic connection. Allison is the author of the upcoming memoir On Being Real: Healing the Codependent Heart of a Woman and shares reflections on healing, resilience, and inner freedom at on-being-real.com.

Allison Briggs's Website

The Growth That Came from Not Saying Sorry

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“You are not responsible for other people’s emotional reactions.” ~Susan Forward

This morning, in our usual rush and routine heading to school, my son was looking for something, as per usual. I calmly asked what he was doing, and he snapped at me. That’s not uncommon.

I stayed regulated and grounded to help him regulate. But sometimes, that calm turns into overfunctioning.

Codependency has a way of sneaking in the back door. As someone who was once deeply codependent, I still fall into old habits—being the one who holds it together, who stays calm for others. And if they

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Trauma, Darkness, and the Powerful Therapy That’s Helping Me Heal

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Trigger Warning: This piece contains references to childhood trauma, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Please take care of yourself as you read, and step away if you need to. If you are struggling, you are not alone — support is available through trusted loved ones, a therapist, or resources like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (in the U.S.).

Hello, darkness, my old friend.

I can’t push you away—because if I do, you only grow stronger. So I’m learning to let you be here. You settle in my chest like a hollow weight, speaking not in words but in pressure.

At …

The Hidden Lesson in Projection: It’s Never Really About Us

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“What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

For most of my life, I didn’t fully understand what projection was. I just knew I kept becoming the problem.

I was “too much.” Too intense. Too emotional. Thought too deeply. Spoke too plainly.

Again and again, I was blamed, misunderstood, and cast out for holding up a mirror to things no one wanted to see.

But in my forties, I began doing …

Brilliant, Not Broken: A Powerful Reframe for Neurodivergence

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“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” ~Audre Lorde

For most of my life, I asked myself a quiet question:

What’s wrong with me?

I didn’t say it out loud. I didn’t have to. It was stitched into how I moved through the world — hyperaware, self-correcting, and always just a little out of step. I knew how to “pass” in the right settings, but never without effort. Underneath it all, I was exhausted by the daily performance of normal.

Looking back, it’s clear where it started.

I …

The Lie of Packaged Healing and the Truth About Feeling

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“Emotions are not problems to be solved. They are signals to be felt.” ~Vironika Tugaleva

We’ve been taught to package our emotions like fast food—served quick, tidy, and with a smile. Americanized feelings. Digestible. Non-threatening. Always paired with productivity.

If you’re sad, journal it. If you’re angry, regulate it. If you’re overwhelmed, fix it with a three-step plan and a green juice. And if that doesn’t work? Try again. You probably missed a step.

This is how we sell emotional healing in the West—marketed like a self-improvement product. Seven-minute abs. Seven habits. Five love languages. Follow the formula. Find the …