Dear Danielle:

Welcome back to the forums with your 8th thread, EIGHT YEARS, four months and 15 days after your last post of June 10, 2015, on your 8th thread “Letting go of the past“. My first reply to you was on that thread in June 9, 2015.

You wrote back then (6-9-2015) about yourself and about the same man, your current boyfriend of 10 years: “I love bettering myself, and I am willing to do the work to get there..  he has inspired me to be better“.

Currently, your “very kind soul with a big heart” boyfriend is consumed with a very challenging situation at work, and “he’s almost become.. mean?“, you wrote. But you know that he’s not mean. Finding another job is not an option, you say.

Finding new ways for him to lessen and manage the heightened stress level inherent in his current job is necessary, isn’t it?

anita

Dear Danielle:

“If you have any ideas, I am all ears to try them! He is kind, but he is a stubborn person, as well. (as we all can be) so I don’t want to push and it blow up in my face”-

In your original post, you wrote:  “My boyfriend and I have a very different way of dealing with problems. I face them head on, and he funnels them down until they eventually boil over – often times rather chaotically.. every single day, he brings this home with him and in some way, takes it out on me“-

– Make a rule: every single day when he gets home from work, he has to take a hot (or cold) shower- before or after he eats-  and lie down for 20 minutes, listening to his choice of calming music. If you are home/ when you get home, add a relaxing massage to this 20-minute practice while work stuff is NOT discussed at all.

anita