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Whats up with my friend? Or is it me?

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  • July 25, 2019 at 1:08 pm #304889
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Meg:

    “Whats up with my friend?” -Your (former) friend is not well. She is distressed and depressed and needs professional help: a general medical doctor to evaluate her general health, a psychiatrist to evaluate current psychiatric drugs she is taking and consider a different prescription/s, a psychotherapist and help regarding her alcohol use (Alcoholic Anonymous may help).

    “Or is it me?”- she is unwell regardless of who you are, and not because of you.

    As-is, you shouldn’t spend time with her, not in her place, not in your place. At the most, if I was you, I would meet her in a public location, such as a coffee shop or a casual restaurant. This way I could leave anytime I want, not feeling trapped with her in any way.

    anita

     

    July 25, 2019 at 1:10 pm #304891
    Valora
    Participant

    Is your friend experiencing depression? Because it really sounds like she’s depressed from what you’ve described (depression includes getting irrationally angry, pushing people away, projecting your own feelings onto people, which would be her getting mad at you and saying you’re doing the things she has actually done). It may be because her boyfriend broke up with her and perhaps she’s not handling that well or it may be a long-term thing given that she didn’t really seem happy when you were younger either.

    If not, at the very least, it seems you two have become very different people who aren’t really compatible in a friendship anymore.

    July 26, 2019 at 4:04 am #304965
    Peggy
    Participant

    Hi Meg,

    Your friend, how you describe her, is definitely showing signs of depression/low self esteem/mental health issues.  She needs expert help to deal with this.  It doesn’t sound as if she is going to take any advice from you.  You could invite her out for coffee/lunch and see how that goes but ultimately you may have to call time on this friendship at least until she has dealt with some of her issues.  (Depressed people frequently want to shut the outside world out so she may not be receptive to this.)

    You may have to accept that your life has taken you in different directions, you are not 16 any more and you don’t have the same connection.

    Peggy

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