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My soulmate committed suicide out of the blue, and I’m completely shattered.

Home→Forums→Tough Times→My soulmate committed suicide out of the blue, and I’m completely shattered.

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Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
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  • July 16, 2019 at 7:54 am #303545
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Alisa:

    I am sorry for your loss of a close friend.

    “she seemed to improve. Making plans, cleaning her house by herself. She booked a holiday with me for next month. She sent me the details last week… She called me overjoyed. She made plans with people to go places.. she made amends with her ex boyfriend and they were getting back together. She was happy, and told me life was finally smiling to her…who books a holiday, does groceries, puts her food in the frig and then hangs herself?”

    – it is not easy to hope, for a person otherwise depressed and defeated, to hold all that excitement in for long, to look forward to a better  life. It can be overwhelming to endure that optimistic excitement, it can get too much. There is a saying: all in moderation. Even excitement has to be in moderation.

    People get overwhelmed with emotions and excitement of any kind, be it fear or anger or that optimistic looking forward excitement, these can not be endured for long, a person needs down time.

    Does this make sense to you?

    anita

    July 16, 2019 at 8:31 am #303553
    Peggy
    Participant

    Hi Alisa,

    The point of your message is that you have written all this stuff down and have, in some small way, released it instead of bottling it all up.  This person has been a very close and good friend to you and the feeling you have of wanting to join her is a very common one.  People who are suicidal are not in a logical frame of mind and she suffered from depression and addictions as well as having been raped.  Who knows what tipped the balance for her that day?  I don’t think anyone will ever make any sense out of it.  She just decided she didn’t want to live any more.  It’s the choice she made.

    You have a grieving process to go through.  You are still in the initial stages of shock and disbelief.  This will take time for you to come to terms with.  She will always have played a very important part in your life.  You will always have special memories of her.  They will be with you forever.  You can always keep her in your heart.

    As this friendship was so special to you, it might be beneficial for you to seek bereavement counselling if and when you are able to.

    Come back to me if you need to.

    Peggy

    July 16, 2019 at 8:58 am #303567
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Alisa,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend!

    Is it possible for someone to look into her computer search history? In her calendar? Phone texts? Journal? Etc.??

    I know that would be a huge invasion of privacy, but that might give SOME clue or closure for everyone.

    Maybe she was so overwhelmed by emotions. Even positive one like excitement can flip into extreme anxiety.

    Maybe she did everything she ever wanted to do in life and there was nothing else to do now.

    Maybe she got a fatal diagnosis.

    Maybe she fought with her ex.

    We just don’t know. What we do know is that you utterly loved her friend, and you did everything you could for her. At the end of our lives (and all our lives will inevitably end), what else is there but the love? Love is the ultimate reality. In a strange way, your relationship with your friend WILL continue, even after death.

    All the Best,

    Inky

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