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I am not religious, he is

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • August 2, 2018 at 7:33 pm #220109
    Prash
    Participant

    Dear V,

    Looks like he needs a lot of contradictions within himself to be sorted out.

    I believe you have been reasonable in preferring to live with him beforehand for valid reasons. In addition when you attended church you felt that it was doing something for him rather than for yourself – that situation is a breeding ground for resentment. further steps in that direction would have only caused further distress for you.

    Any possibility of this working out relies on a foundation of mutual respect and understanding, not a situation where one has to do all the bending.

    Take care.

    August 2, 2018 at 8:46 pm #220113
    V
    Participant

    Dear Prash,

    thank you so much for your response! I couldn’t have said it better myself. Resentment was probably in the near future, especially considering the fact the only reason we would be together was due to ME being the only one that compromised.

    August 3, 2018 at 5:13 am #220161
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear V:

    I suppose he believes he was forgiven after every  time he had sex with you,  outside marriage. If he married you, I wonder, if he will feel it is okay to have sex with other women while being married to you because he will be forgiven for that as well.

    If you convert then, do you convert to his take on Christianity or to a more official denomination?

    There are women who are able to close their eyes what they don’t want to look at and lots do. Reads like his inconsistencies/ lack of integrity bothers you and has bothered you all along, correct?

    anita

    August 4, 2018 at 7:53 am #220295
    Mark
    Participant

    V,

    How about you ask him to convert to Buddhism instead?  Or Islam?  Or atheism?  Or …?

    Just being facetious.  Yes you are right.  There is no hope in this relationship working out.

    Mark

    August 4, 2018 at 12:41 pm #220333
    V
    Participant

    Anita,

    thank you for your response! I do not worry about him needing to have relations with other people while with me. He is a very loyal person. However, yes, it’s his inconsistency/contradictions that don’t settle well with me. If he’s going to be such a dedicated Christian, he should not be stern on only some things.

    August 4, 2018 at 12:42 pm #220335
    V
    Participant

    Mark,

    you are absolutely right and further prove my point! You can’t expect me to bend all the way. What if I asked you to stray away from your foundation, like you’re asking of me? It would never happen.

    thanks!

    August 5, 2018 at 7:37 am #220383
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear V:

    You are welcome.

    Regarding living with him (if he agreed to it) would not have been a good idea, I am thinking, because his child is  likely to form an emotional attachment to you, and will be hurt if you move out, if you figure living with him/ getting married is not for you.

    His reason I assume for not wanting you to move in with you is social embarrassment, what will the church people say. My reason would be to prevent my child from bonding with a woman who may leave following an experimentation period.

    anita

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