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How do I let go?

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • June 25, 2018 at 5:33 pm #214139
    Mark
    Participant

    BookWorm,

    I can relate with you.  When I was in an emotionally sterile marriage, I connected online with a woman who was all those things that my wife was not.  I never met her.  I knew that I needed to divorce in order to fully move on with my life and find an in-person fulfilling relationship.  That was what I did.

    How to let go?  Stop anymore contact.  Divorce. Find a therapist.  Get out and find activities that are fun and nurturing.  Make platonic friends.  Then when you are out of the marriage long enough, when you are healed, when you are emotionally healthy, when you are living a healthy life THEN you can start dating.

    Mark

    June 26, 2018 at 2:59 am #214181
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear BookWorm:

    You wrote: “I feel foolish and like a 16 year old high school girl”- we don’t grow out of our need to love-and-be-loved, to connect, to attach, not at any age. Not that I know (exceptions possible maybe).

    I suppose you stayed in your marriage for so long because of that need and so, this need in you is very strong. No wonder then that you focus on the one possibility, this man. Because he is the only possibility now that you are separated.

    Having a second possibility, a more promising possibility, maybe two or more possibilities will help you to let go of this one.

    anita

    June 26, 2018 at 4:16 am #214199
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi BookWorm,

    This new guy is not for you. You are several hours apart. You are just beginning to crawl out of your marital/emotional quagmire. AND I suspect this guy is suffering from a heavy case of nostalgia. When men go through their predictable life crises, they cast back to and herald people they knew in high school. Lucky Girl!

    My wish for you is to be legally divorced. May you sleep in your own bed, in your own place. May you spend one year happily alone. May you meet someone you have never met before. May he be local. May he be loving. To the future! (not high school)

    Blessings,

    Inky

    August 4, 2018 at 9:49 pm #220355
    BookWorm
    Participant

    thank you so much Mark, Inky and Anita for the wonderful advice. While it has been hard I have been slowly focusing more on my healing and less about a man and a relationship. Once the divorce is final, I hope to feel emotionally free and will continue my healing. I have decided to take 2 years off of no dating anyone and just get my life back on track! Blessings!

    August 5, 2018 at 4:16 am #220367
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, BookWorm. I wish you well on your two years off dating and healing. Post again anytime you’d like to share about your healing and getting your life back on track.

    anita

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