Surving30,

I am confused.  A few years ago, you got involved with a man who sexually assaulted you?  Now you are involved with this loving man for the last 11 months but cannot stop thinking about your ex husband?  Or you cannot stop thinking about the man who assaulted you?

If it is the ex husband, how long have you been divorced and not been in contact with him?

If it is the abusive boyfriend then how long has it been since you been in contact him?

For either case, my guess is that you never really been emotionally out on your own since your marriage.  You jumped right into this abusive guy and now with this loving guy.

You don’t know how to be able to stand on your own two emotional feet without a man.  I think that whatever the attraction this abusive man is for you, it is a piece that needs to be examined within yourself.  What about this ex that you miss?  What qualities does he have that you long for and that your current boyfriend does not have?

Mark

Hi SurvIng30,

You have done well by sharing your feelings through this platform, and I would like to comfort you by letting you know that your feelings are heard.

When you are feeling misery, please do not keep the trauma in your heart and instead vent it out, it will indeed help you to feel better. We all have times in our lives where we feel stuck and unable to move out from a whirl of negativity but know that you are stronger than you think and you will be able to pull through this.

I see that you are overthinking, and about a certain person which is not allowing you to move out from your current spot to continue threading your life path.

Take your time, and when you are comfortable, step out from this trap that you have set for yourself. This trap has prevented you from going further. It will not be easy, but try your best to take your mind off this guy and focus your energy on what is positive and meaningful instead.

You can do it. You are strong. You are independent. Do not forget that.

Cheers,

Jun

Survlng30,

I am glad you seem better.

Continue telling yourself kind words – like the things we tell you.

Let these affirmations resound within yourself until it is part of you.

You can do it. We are all trying.

Love,

Jun

* Dear Des: if you want to start your own thread and get responses from members other than the original poster of this thread, click on  Forums at the top, then click on one of the categories listed, Relationships maybe,  you will get a list  of titles  of threads, scroll  down to the end and type in the empty boxes.

anita