Broke up with my amazing boyfriend ROCD TRIGGER WARNING

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This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

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January 24, 2018 at 2:14 pm #188765

Saya
Participant

Just to clarify as well, I still love him so much and he is like family to me, as well as a best friend. I would do anything for him and truly love him as he is. This made matters worse as I was obsessing whether or not I just confused in love with infatuation, and wondering whetherei’ve thrown out real love ?

January 24, 2018 at 2:44 pm #188769

Mark
Participant

Saya,

You asked for someone to talk to. Do you want feedback on your situation? Advice? A shoulder to lean/cry on? Someone to just listen so you can let it out?

You broke up so that you can focus on your life. What are you doing to make that happen?

What are you doing in order create or rebuild the friendships you have lost?

You diagnose yourself as having ROCD. What kind of help are you getting to address that?

Mark

January 24, 2018 at 7:39 pm #188781

Meander
Participant

Saya,

If you’re looking for someone to talk to I’m happy to listen. It’s tough feeling like you are disconnected from friends and don’t have a support network.

sometimes just being able to talk things out with someone can really help clarify thinking/feelings.

You’re taking some time to figure yourself out-that’s great you’ve identified the need for that!

what are the things you want for yourself? What are your interests/passions? Maybe you need to reconnect with yourself as an individual?

Kind Regards,

Meander

January 25, 2018 at 7:52 am #188903

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Saya:

Maybe your ROCD thoughts are fueled by the fear of being too vulnerable to rejection. The more loving, the more vulnerable, the more it will hurt if and when rejected by the one you love, correct? So maybe part of your brain is trying to convince your heart that you don’t love him, so to not get hurt.

You put a lot of emphasis on your feelings, asking and wondering how you are supposed to feel. We all need to feel okay and we all dislike not feeling okay. That is understandable. But it is not realistic to expect to feel okay all the time, to expect a certain feeling to remain unchanged.

And when we feel distressed, not okay, it is important to put the effort to function effectively anyway, no matter how distressed we feel. Got to have the thinking and feeling work together for best functioning.

anita

January 26, 2018 at 4:40 am #189133

Inky
Participant

Hi Saya,

The underlying current in your post is one of DISCONNECT. You are somehow disconnected from people, boyfriends, friends and “friends”. You don’t know how to define your feelings, or if you even have them, and so freak yourself out.

I’m glad you moved out, having room mates who ignore you would get to me after a while.

Your now ex-boyfriend sounds like gold, I wouldn’t lose him no matter how I thought I felt. Definitely keep him as a life long friend.

The fact that you can’t really process your grandfather’s death makes me want to get you into therapy.

Did something happen long ago that made you out of touch with your feelings?

Inky

March 15, 2018 at 8:55 am #197353

katieislike
Participant

This post described me to a T – your timeline is the same as mine! This post heavily triggered me because I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend, I want to treat my anxiety even though every day is torture. I guess I shouldn’t have read on when I saw the trigger warning part…

Just wondering how you’re doing now?
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