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You cannot be both unhappy and fully present in the Now.

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryYou cannot be both unhappy and fully present in the Now.

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Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #62218
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    I’m listening to Eckhart Tolle read his book “The Power of Now” and the following passage has struck a profound chord within me.

    “Being free of psychological time, you no longer pursue your goals with grim determination, driven by fear, anger, discontent, or the need to become someone. Nor will you remain inactive through fear of failure, which to the ego is loss of self. When your deeper sense of self is derived from Being, when you are free of “becoming” as a psychological need, neither your happiness nor your sense of self depends on the outcome, and so there is freedom from fear. You don’t seek permanency where it cannot be found: in the world of form, of gain and loss, birth and death. You don’t demand that situations, conditions, places, or people should make you happy, and then suffer when they don’t live up to your expectations. Everything is honored, but nothing matters. Forms are born and die, yet you are aware of the eternal underneath the forms. You know that “nothing real can be threatened. When this is your state of Being, how can you not succeed? You have succeeded already.”

    Has anyone else read this book? If so, have you been able to put his teachings into practice? Have you recognized any significant changes in the way you act, think, and feel? Have you been able to achieve this “state of Being”?

    Tolle’s words feel profound and describe almost exactly the state of boredom, loneliness, unease, anxiety, depression, longing, regret, guilt, shame, craving, jealousy, longing for approval and validation, and suffering that I experience almost every moment – rarely present, always looking to the future, anticipating the next moment, or reviewing the past, constantly checking myself and evaluating my every word and action, not being able to truly connect with people and accept the now as is.

    I meditate daily altnernating between Metta and the meditation I learned from the local Shambhala centre and I’m constantly snapping myself back into reality and the present, but I feel like there’s more that I could be doing to be truly free at ease in this world.

    Is the inner peace and freedom that he describes possible?

    #62221
    Matt
    Participant

    Little Buddha,

    Yes, of course. The dance of grasping/repelling happens on top of that peace. This bouncing back and forth you’re describing is natural, a normal part of living a lay life, normal part of beginning a practice. Consider “pema chodron bodhicitta” on YouTube, if interested.

    Perhaps consider speaking one on one with a teacher at the center, they can probably help with the balance. Said differently, as we get up from the cushion, start grabbing at and running from phenomena, the energy of mindfulness dissipates, and blue skies turn grey. A sangha member or teacher can help you remain awake, bringing the steadfastness of the cushion to your day to day life, help you figure out what snags you, etc.

    Namaste, brother, may your cosmic surfboard find its keel.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    #62235
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    Thanks Matt

    I will try and reach-out. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find someone I can connect with.

    #62285
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Thanks Matt

    heyyyyy little buddha

    Yes, I have read the book. My inward journey probably started with that book. It is a phenomenal read and every time you re read it, you learn something new.

    The inner peace and freedom that he describes is possible and very much attainable. A bit of work and patience – daily soaking in of positive knowledge, meditation, daily selfless service and sharing of knowledge is one way of achieving it. Inward journey is a one way street, which needs daily work.

    I agree with Matt that having a teacher will help you in this journey. I have had a few in my life and now I am sticking with only one as it helps me to stay focussed on my path and avoids any confusion arising from other sources.

    You are awesomeeeeee still 🙂

    J

    #62327
    Will
    Participant

    I haven’t read this particular book, but yes, change from a state of anxiety towards the being he describes is possible. I’m not there, but I’m way closer than I used to be.

    Stay the course, continue your practice. Read, meet people, keep catching yourself, keep being kind to yourself. It is possible. And I wish it for you, and me, and everyone.

    #62414
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    Thank you both Jasmine and Will.

    “Daily selfless service and sharing of knowledge” I agree are key. I always feel so much better when I’ve been able to help someone by doing something for them or helping them learn something new. My negative mind criticizes me for “desperately feeling like being needed”, but it feels so good to have been able to help someone. I do sometimes need to temper that “selfless service” by taking time for myself and temper the “sharing of knowledge” so as not overwhelm or become arrogant. The middle path is hard to find.

    @@Jasmine-3 Would you be able to share your story on how you found your teacher?

    #62433
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    @throck

    Heyyyyy Little Buddha

    You asked for my story so here it is – straight from my heart to yours. Don’t freak out mate…

    There are 2 broad kinds of people in my mind. One who is seeking inner peace and meaning to exist in balance with the nature and second, who just wants to get on with their lives with the least hurdles.

    I have always sought for “calm” as I call it. I didn’t know what peace was. I would just say all the time in my mind – I don’t want chaos. I want things to be calm. Home / school / college / Uni / work were always calm so I am not sure where the chaos feeling was coming into my mind.

    So my first teacher who taught me the meaning of calm was our first dog in my late twenties (instead of kids, my and my husband decided to adopt a dog few years into our marriage).

    I enjoy reading and self-help was my pet read. I came across Eckhart Tolle’s book in a second hand book shop and he defined peace for me just the way I had experienced it with my dog. The calm that I was looking for in literal terms. After this, I read many other stories, biographies of people who have found peace, trialled with different religions etc. It was great for a while.

    And in 09/10, something changed. I was like what next ? I felt so near to my inner peace goal and yet so far. I had achieved a lot of materialistic things at a young age and done a lot of things, which not many get to do. Life was still boring and I had enough of everything. In this quest, I came across work of Indian spiritual teachers like Osho, Isha, Anandmoorti, Sai Baba, Niluma etc. They were saying similar things to Buddha / Eckhart but had a different twist to it. So it took my fancy and I dwelled more into it and came across BK Shivani’s lectures and that was another turning point. Suddenly, I could understand things in a simple manner and I started to incorporate her teachings into my life.

    I would discuss her teachings with my husband and family members and suddenly they became my teachers. We all started to grow together.

    I learnt during this process that we do not have to look for teachers. Teachers find us when we are ready for the next step and teachers do not have to be physically there with you. Everyone has the potential to become our teacher if we are open to self growth and WANT self development. I came across my current teacher couple of years ago unexpectedly during an Asian retreat. The clarity that I felt during this week long process was like I had never felt before. All my questions stopped and I felt so good. I learnt the meditation he taught during this week long retreat and in every session after wards, I would feel his presence in the room (it was freaky for some time he he he). That was then and here I am now. Happy and content majority of the time 🙂

    I didn’t find him. He found me and I have never met him again since physically but can feel his presence when I need help. I learn everyday and I feel the blessing in every moment.

    As you can see, it was a stepped process. Nothing happened all at once. It was a gradual and slow process and kept pace with my learning and desire.

    My dogs, husband, family members, colleagues, clients are all my teachers along with him. Everyone on here is also my teacher in some form or other. But when I need help, I know I can count on him for guidance and his teachings are: selfless service, share your knowledge, offer unconditional love and acceptance, meditate and put yourself before everyone else as then you will be able to accept everyone as they are and be there for them in a true sense.

    Hope this helps

    J

    #62434
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant
    #62463
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    @@Jasmine-3

    That is a fascinating story. Thank you for sharing. Have you considered telling your story as a TinyBuddha feature article? You should.

    I open myself to the universe and ask for guidance and direction. If it feels I’m ready for the next step, I’ll graciously accept a teacher into my life. If not, I’ll be patient and continue to practice as much as I know now.

    Thank you once again.

    #62473
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    @therock

    Thanks Little Awesome Buddha

    I wrote this just for you as you were seeking. When we seek something, it appears before us. Not all experiences are of benefit to other TB members 🙂

    Read your other post – walking on eggshells….You need to stop the self doubt and jeopardising your forward journey. Let it go for once and all and restart. Life doesn’t give us too many opportunities to make a restart so don’t give up on this ripe opportunity.

    How do you know if an action is a good one or a bad one ? When an action feels good in the core of your heart and it is not carried out with an intention to harm yourself or others. Every other action falls into the other category. I hope this will answer some of your queries and you will continue to move forward.

    Best wishes

    Jasmine

    #62513
    Little Buddha
    Participant

    @@Jasmine-3 So true. Life is too short and I have been given another chance. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone on purpose. That was never my intention. I will not give up.

    “Half a league, half a league,
    Half a league onward,..”

    #62556
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    @therock 🙂

    #62731
    Dain Supero
    Participant

    Little Buddha,

    The Power of Now is a great starting point for a better understanding of presence and consciousness (state of Being).

    Tolle simply means to say that most (if not all) irrational thoughts stem from fear, usually fear of loss or failure. Think back to any time you felt this fear and you will agree that, at the bottom of everything, the thought of loss or failure orchestrated the whole episode. Fear can exist only as a memory (in the past) or as a possibility (in the future). We cannot be afraid of the present moment. We can only react to it.

    When a bear attacks you, you react. The thought of death activates certain neurotransmitters and neuropeptides, which instruct your body to produce certain hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. That is a rational, mental and physical reaction to an event. Fear is a mental, man-made construct that can live, as I said, only in the Then and Then, never in the Now. Becoming present therefore destroys fear by design. When you’re on a roller coaster at an amusement park, in the moment you are simply reacting. Think back to the actual ride itself. You didn’t have time to be afraid. Time didn’t exist. You just were. Only once you’re off the ride (or before it) do you “think” fearfully.

    Remember, fear leads to confusion, confusion to frustration, frustration to anger, anger to suffering, and suffering to the Dark Side.

    May the Force be with you.

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