Hi Sapnap3,

Your partner of nearly 4 years ended your relationship a month ago even though plans for your wedding had been made.  This must have been really tough on you but it is far better for him to be honest with you now than to drag you through the divorce courts later on.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that your childhood and your fear of abandonment is to blame.  Two people involved themselves in this relationship and that means that two people are responsible for its survival or otherwise.

Your words are telling you that your parents were victims of their family circumstances – this is the beginning of the forgiveness phase.  Having compassion for their situation brings about forgiveness.  Forgiveness just means letting go.  Resentment keeps you holding on.  It is the opposite of what you hope to achieve.

You need to be able to release all thoughts of resentment.  When such thoughts come up, as meditation teaches you, just let them come and then let them go again as soon as you are aware of them.  Bring your awareness back to the present.  Release such thoughts with love knowing that you don’t need them any more.  I’m not sure what your inner child meditation work is but please be aware that your focus should be on what you want to create such as soothing the inner child rather than on the wounded child.

Love is the greatest healer on Earth.  You now have an opportunity to care for your mother, perhaps in a way that she has never been cared for before.  That can bring its own reward if you let it.

Best Wishes

Peggy

Hi sapnap3,

Sia here. If you are the same person, We spoke on this website few years back. It was about your birthday.. and you planned to play music for some gathering and felt good about it.

I kept you in my prayers few times over all these years.. whenever i remembered your name.. hope you are doing well. I read your post today.

This situation you are going through… i would like to gently remind you that almost everyone goes through this once or more times in their life. Almost everyone makes it to the other end. I do not in any way mean to simplify the immense grief you are feeling now. I want to remind you that this is also a part of life and can be dealt with.

If i remember, you moved from another country to this place, and made it this far. You are a brave girl.

I want to ask you to take care of yourself, eat well, sleep well, be gentle with yourself till you feel ready to face everything. THIS TOO, SHALL PASS. till then, keep yourself warm, prioritise basic needs of life.. food, water, fresh air, good health, company.

A healthy mind, well nourished body would heal faster. Please take care of yourself. Keep your day scheduled in general, to keep you occupied. Make a routine for your day and follow it. Keep an hour or two for your favourite hobby – create something in that time. Mine was to crochet( it helped… really)… yours may be music.

Frame your self love into a simple sentence, and repeat it when you need it.. when sadness strikes again. Mine was – i love you more than anyone else in the world. I am always there for you. I repeated this thousands of times till i felt better. Till i trusted myself more.

I hope you feel better. I pray that you stay happy always.

Sia.