Will he ever regret letting me go?

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This topic has 8 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by Lucy.

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January 9, 2015 at 6:02 am #70946

Inky
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Hi Lucy888,

He will always feel this way whenever he gets in a relationship with someone more rich/successful/beautiful than he is. This is classic hallmark insecurity. He can’t handle your greatness. So much that he couldn’t handle acknowledging your birthday/anniversary. And then when you (rightfully) say, “Hey, buddy, I’m in a one-sided relationship here, can you step it up?” he internally freaked out.

It’s not a matter of him being filled with regrets. He is currently in Ego Survival Mode.

Maybe one day, years from now, when he is richer, has a great career, and is even better looking than he is now, he might cast a glance at his old contact list and think of you and what he had (now that he has deemed himself worthy to have it). Then he will feel regret.

Keep Being Yourself!

Inky

January 10, 2015 at 2:32 pm #70983

Lucy
Participant

Thank you for your reply Inky!

Perhaps so, sounds about right. Although I also believe that now he’s had me, his egotistical mind will think he can get anybody he wants.

I’ll keep working on myself in the meantime!

January 12, 2015 at 1:00 am #71158

Christopher
Participant

Hi Lucy,

Well, I think I can mostly relate to however you are feeling right now. It stinks.

I don’t know if this would help but I believe that however badly you want to know if he would regret leaving you or not, it still doesnt matter. I am currently facing the same question and I am also currently trying to keep telling myself that it wouldn’t make a difference. The fact of the matter is that, the person we hold so dearly (respectively) has decided to move away from us (be it to a different partner or to settle their own issues). So technically, even if they do regret or they don’t regret wont change to anything that benefits us.

Maybe in the future then both of us will find the answer to this question. Maybe we won’t. So why bother thinking about it even?

I’m saying this to also remind myself not to bother too much about it So that maybe I can move on abit quicker.

Hope it helps, some way, somehow

January 12, 2015 at 7:37 pm #71188

Sarah
Participant

It’s tough to say if he’s ever going to mature and see that he made a mistake letting such a great catch (you) go from his life – but he’s only 22 now, and I’m guessing the regret might not come for a while… if he feels like he isn’t losing much by not having a relationship with you, then I guess he won’t feel regretful at the moment.

But don’t focus on him anymore and his lack of maturity, respect for you or regret/remorse. You know you’ll be better off without him, there are other guys out there more worthy, when the time is right for you date again. My ex-relationship of 8 years didn’t regret his behaviour/loss of our relationship until after we separated, and by then it was too late for me for him to change. New opportunities for us girls are on the horizon 🙂

January 13, 2015 at 10:01 am #71224

Lucy
Participant

Thank you for your replies Christopher and Sarah!

Christopher – you’re absolutely right, it shouldn’t matter whether he’ll end up regretting it as I should be focusing on myself right now rather than thinking about things that don’t matter nor will speed up the healing process. Since you’re going through a similar thing, I hope you’re doing ok!

Sarah – I agree that if he was to ever realise it would be a long time away from now! And that I should be focusing on myself right now which I am and I am feeling better! 🙂

January 14, 2015 at 7:14 am #71301

Lucy
Participant

A little update on the situation:

In the original post I stated that I am friends with his sister who backed my corner on a lot of what went wrong pre and post break up. I understand that he’s still her brother but she stated that she still wanted to maintain a friendship with me despite what had happened and we’ve kept in contact since.
Since he has some important items of mine, I was counting on his sister to return them to me, which she said she would. However, I can now see she has blocked me on WhatsApp despite us only having spoken on there on Friday (talking about how we should meet up soon!). I have text her since asking how she is and the message delivered but I have not received a reply.
There was no animosity between us and I can’t understand why she would just block me out of the blue, especially when my items are yet to be returned. I would have expected at least a text explaining why? Not just a random block and no contact, as I suspect her brother has asked her to maintain no contact with me…but what about my things?
What do you suggest I do?

January 15, 2015 at 12:48 pm #71395

D.E. Hardesty
Participant

Lucy ~ He may regret letting you go if he remains stuck in the past. Likewise, you may regret him letting you go if you are stuck in the past. Being stuck in the past, however, means being unable to enjoy the present. I guess that the question is, once you get over the grief of separation, how do you want to live your life?

January 17, 2015 at 7:45 am #71474

Lucy
Participant

Thanks for your reply d-e-hardesty!

I don’t regret letting him go and truthfully I don’t feel like I ever will given his immaturity and the way the situation has been handled. However, the reason why I wondered if he would ever regret letting me go was because I feel like I went above and beyond for him and it is quite rare to find someone who would do that for you.

At the moment, I am concentrating on moving forward with my life and accepting that the relationship ran its course and the more I look at some details of the relationship, the more I realise that it was for the best.
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