Dear Eva:

“I wanted the divorce 30 years ago, then I went on repeating the same old pattern of meaningless or self-destructive relationships“- a destructive childhood followed by a self-destructive adulthood? This has been my story, and the story of too many people.

“He did everything he could to keep me and waited for years in the hope of reconciliation, looking back I can say I was cruel, and unkind to him while avoiding real communication, in all this time I never tried very hard to understand why I just up and left“- I just up and left because staying felt like being trapped (trapped in a situation similar to my childhood). Freedom was about.. Leaving, back then, so it felt.

“Something struck me differently this time while we were talking.. there he was.. an older man in front of me, but all I could see was the young guy I married who had his heart wide open.. full of joy, kindness, and love.. fully committed, and all mine.. I almost cried!“- Freedom, so I am finding out, is about opening up one’s closed heart and inviting back the ability and practice of, as the song goes, to love and be loved in return.

“He finally remarried a few years back… did I leave him because, for the first time, I felt I was in the right place with the right man and I feared the commitment and intimacy that the relationship required?!“- I think that no place is the right place, and no man is the right man when a woman’s mind and heart are not in the right place.

“But, more importantly, why did it take 30 years for me to get in touch with these feelings?“- maybe during this time, while you were talking with him, your heart and mind were in the right place?

anita