Dear KristiB:

No need to apologize for posting about a way smaller issue than issues directly related to the pandemic because very few people start threads here, fewer after the pandemic than before. So it’s not like you are taking precious space and time from anyone else.

Your marital dissatisfaction is about you not feeling the “intense lust and passion” you used to feel. I imagine it would be something like this, for me: I discovered a chocolate cake that makes me feel heavenly, eating it is a sensual experience of first degree, the greatest feeling in the world. Plus, I am in no danger of not having any cake  left (I am married to it, and maybe quarantined with it, hurray!)-

– so  I am feeling great, I found my version of and-they-lived-(intensely-passionately-and sensually)happily-ever-after. But one day, alas: I get the cake out of the frig, and with my mouth watering, I place a slice on a plate (or just grab a moist piece of it with my hand, it being sensual that way), put it in my mouth.. and alas,  nothing!

Oh no, that can’t be!

I will stop here to ask you if you can relate to what I wrote so far..?

anita

Hi KirstiB,

You are not broken and you do not need fixing.  There is nothing wrong with you for desiring another taste of those passionate times you used to share.  You are assigning importance to it because it is important to you.  You find your partner physically attractive and this drives your passion.  This ‘wonderful’ man is in your life and in exchange for this he has a ‘wonderful’ woman in his life.  This is your relationship and it does not need comparing to anyone else’s relationship.  Make it work for you.  Live passionately.

Best………

Peggy